Robbo's Flirting Blog

When I was 19...

2010-03-20T12:38:00.000-07:00

I had a couple awesome 19 year old guys leave me a hilarious voicemail last night. One of them recently took the Art of Charm/Inner Confidence Intensive Bootcamp and it was a blast working with him! They flattered me repeatedly in their voicemail that was left at 3am (most likey a drunk dial) and wanted to know where I was at when I was 19 because they think I'm such a badass now! :) So here it goes...

I actually graduated from High School 2 days after my 19th bday. I was held back in kindergarten because my mom wanted me to have an extra year to play, which was awesome! I got my drivers license before all the other kids and it was cool being the oldest all the time. I was recruited to play golf for UC San Diego and I remember just 2 days before I was supposed to leave for college turning on my car radio as I was driving to a 7am tee time and hearing the events of 9/11 unfold. For a moment I though the world was ending and college would not happen but it all worked out just fine. My freshman year I partied hard, played golf, dated my high school girl friend who I saw on the weekends and went to class infrequently. I was completely unaware of the concept of personal growth and only thought about girls, golf and fun. It's funny to look back and see how completely unconscious I was and how much I've changed in 8 years. It is also pretty remarkable that the guys who left me the voicemail are developing these areas of their lives and taking the time to study their behavior and social skills because there it is hands down the best investment you could ever make in yourself. I thought that all I had to do was get decent grades in my econ classes which would allow me to attend business school, get my MBA which would lead to a high paying job. This tunnel vision type of thinking was pretty much the norm of everyone I met at college and its pretty pathetic. I was basically like a blind sheep just doing what everyone else was doing and hoping the system took care of me. Due to that limited world view, I didn't really take anything seriously. I studied and got good grades but retained very little of the information I learned in my classes because I was not passionate about the subject, it was just a means to an end. If I could go back, I would have taken classes that interested me like psychology or anthropology, (anything that studies human behavior) but I just took boring econ classes so I could get on with my life and get into an MBA program.

The main thing that stands out is how utterly asleep I was (in other words - not present). That year of my life is pretty much a blur and time passed so quickly. I had fun but I was always on the excitement, let down rollercoaster. My thoughts would always be on the next fun or exciting thing I was going to be doing in the near future and as soon as that experience ended, I experienced the let down immediately after. This rollercoaster is a result of not being present and it's what most people do without even realizing it. Years later, I saw this behavioral pattern and was able to make the transition out of it.

When I look back, I feel really blessed to have the opportunity to attend college on my parents dime, have all those amazing times, made the friends I still have to this day and my only regret is the lack of passion in which I devoted to my activities. I guess you could say my passion was to have fun but I really took nothing away from most of those experiences. So if you're reading this and can relate to my story, this is what I want you to take away...

Rather then coast through life pretending to not care, make choices about what you want and take action. If you are stopped by anything (time, money, circumstances) you are stoppable and the only failure is in not taking action. Don't do something because its the "right" or "socially acceptable" thing to do, do it because you chose it! Would love to hear any comments you may have after reading this.

-Robbie

Honesty Is An Aphrodisiac

2009-12-01T00:32:00.000-08:00

Think about this for a second... How often do you pretend stuff doesn't bother you? How often do you do things for other people that you don't really want to do? How often do you put yourself second? How often do you engage a women with a LAME ASS interview type of question?

If you answered anything more then NEVER to any of these questions, then you qualify for the category of "DING-DONG!" BUT... YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I am in that same category too and so is every other man on this Earth.

On a scale of 1-10, how full of shit do you think you are? All of the behavior I mentioned above unfortunately falls into the category of "full of shit." But we don't do it because we are liars, we do it because its the "RIGHT" or polite thing to do. Unfortunately, "right" or polite does not equal attractive. Isn't it refreshing when some just says what's on their mind? If you are a fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm, then you know what I'm talking about. Larry is a fucking prick but you gotta love the guy for being such a straight talker. One of the fastest ways to transform yourself into a guy that is good with women is to start to tell the truth. The next time you are out at a bar and you ask a woman some question that you don't really care about in effort to spark up a conversation, follow that question up with this: "You know what, I lied, I don't really care about where you live, but I do think you're incredibly cute." She'll laugh! Or try this, the next time someone asks you if you're having a good day, say "Actually, its a pretty typical day of my life, and how dare you for asking such a personal question!":)

The point is, people love a fresh dose of BULLSHIT FREE conversation, so try it out and watch what happens!

PUA Summit Talk on Rejection

2009-11-25T02:08:00.000-08:00

WATCH THIS VIDEO TO LEARN HOW TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF REJECTION

Why Isn't He Into Me Anymore??

2009-11-09T09:51:00.001-08:00

This post is for the ladies...

The 7 Hour Rule

You wanna know why it seems like most guys lose interest as soon as he gets in your pants? Well we are finally gonna bust this myth once and for all. Introducing the 7 hour rule…

Have you ever noticed that if you look back on all the men you have slept with that it took approximately 7 hours for him to get you into bed? Obviously there are exceptions to every rule and if you are a super prude or mega-slut than the 7 hour rule would be more like a 2 month rule or 7 minute rule respectively.

Lets find out if you’re a 7 hour girl…

Think about that last guy you were with, what happened. Maybe you met him on a Saturday night, talked for an hour and then gave him your number. You then exchanged numerous texts throughout the day Saturday and Sunday and set up a date on Monday to meet for drinks. The date goes great and he invites you over to check out his stamp collection, one thing leads to another, and before you know it, you are feasting on his throbbing cock like a fat kid at an all you can eat buffet. You spend the night together, hopefully go for round 2 the next morning and you go home and tell all your girlfriends about this amazing guy who rocked your world. And then… you never hear from him again. Coincidence, I think not!

So what happened? Why did this asshole not call you back?

Answer: Because you only spent approximately 7 hours with him before he got in your pants.

In most cases in today’s technologically advanced society it takes even less then 7 hours. The 7 hours comes from the fact that it will take most girls approximately 7 hours to feel comfortable enough with a guy to sleep with him. But let’s take a closer look at the example I gave above. You spent 1 hour with him when you met him and maybe 3-4 on the first date before you dropped your panties. Total face time = Less then 7 hours.

If a guy only has to put in less than 10 hours of face-time with you, he never feels like he had to work for it and it makes you seem like less of a catch. Guys like a challenge so if you are looking to land a man, and you are hoping that he is the one, make sure you keep the chastity belt on for at least 10 hours and just to be safe, 20 is a better bet. Don’t forget, text, facebook, and BBM time does not count as face time. Don’t forget, the number 7 in this case, is not your lucky number.

Hook Up For the Holidays

2009-11-04T18:11:00.001-08:00

FREE WORKSHOP TOMORROW (THURSDAY, NOV 5th 6:45-10PM, Marina Del Rey)

Hey Guys,If you are in the LA/Socal Area, don't miss your last chance of the year to get the FREE training you need to find that special lady for the holiday season. Halloween just passed and if you found yourself oogling over all those sexy costumes, then stop oogling and get your butt off the couch and learn to the vital skills to attracting women.

"Give Us Just One Day and We'll Teach You How To Be Truly Confident and Powerful On The Inside And DRAW BEAUTIFUL SEXY WOMEN Into Your Life and Into Your Bed"

Whether you are just starting out or starting to burn out, You will:

• The three Master Keys to becoming a naturally attractive man who has CHOICE with women.

• You're going to discover how to be magnetic, compelling, and charismatic, all by being genuinely you...

• How you can create instant connection that leads to hot sex and why connection matters more then anything you say to a woman.

• Exactly why women love to resist you and how you can actually use this to your advantage in a way that will only make them even more attracted to you.

• Warning! What NOT to do if you want to start conversations with ease and grace... no matter how many other "gurus" tell you to do this!

• How to unlock your authentic masculine presence and really understand how it will feel for you to be an alpha male.

To get more information go to www.InnerConfidence.com/seminar and CLAIM your FULL SCHOLARSHIP TODAY

Seeya then, or not,

Robbie

Let's Get Real

2009-10-30T01:25:00.000-07:00

You are .003% away from being great with women… This article was posted today in the Inner Confidence Forums, it is a must read if you are looking to improve your relationships.

LET’S GET REAL
by Jeff Olson

“Okay, doubling a penny in a story is all very well. But I don’t see anyone offering to double my money every day for a month, not in real life. Besides, even if I could get compound interest on a money account, how am I supposed to add up compound interest in health, or relationships, or knowledge?”

Fair enough. Let’s change the question. Forget about doubling for a minute, and let’s forget about compound interest, too, for the moment. Let’s just add a penny every day, not double the penny. Do you think you could improve yourself-your health, your knowledge, your skills, your diet, your relationships, whatever area of life you want to look at – just one percent?

Wait – before you answer that, let’s make it even smaller. What if you were able to improve yourself, today, just three-tenths of one percent? That’s a 0.003 improvement – a very Slight Edge indeed. So slight, in fact, you might have a hard time even knowing how to measure it.

Now, what if you did that again tomorrow, and the next day, and kept it up every day for the next year? Remember, you’re not going to add up compound interest this time, you’re just adding on another three-tenths of one percent each day.

Here’s what will happen. The first day you’ll improve by 0.003, so little it will probably be impossible to notice. The second day, your improvement will be 0.006; the next day, 0.009, almost a full one percent. And by the end of the year, you will have improved by one hundred percent.

Doubled.

You will be twice what you are today – twice as fit, twice as wealthy, twice as skilled, twice as happy…twice as whatever it is you’ve been working on, in whatever areas you apply your daily three-tenths-percent effort. Twice the you, in just one year!

If you give yourself a year to do it, you can become twice the person you are today. Imagine having twice the net worth, twice the personal relationships, twice the health. Making twice the positive impact on the world. Having twice as much fun and enjoying twice the quality of life.

How could you possibly accomplish this? By trying twice as hard? Working twice as many hours? Have twice as positive an attitude? No – by improving three-tenths of one percent at a time.

Every day, in every moment, you get to exercise choices that will determine whether or not you will become a great person, living a great life. Greatness is not something predetermined, predestined or carved into your fate by forces beyond your control. Greatness is always in the moment of the decision.

But you have to start with a penny. And that’s the great and tragic irony of it, the sad and terrible tale of the ninety-five percent: that little penny seems so insignificant, so small, so silly…why even bother to bend over and pick it up? After all…

Can you imagine walking into your bank to deposit a single penny into a savings account? Can you imagine looking in your savings account, deposit box or piggy bank, and finding a balance of $0.01? It might as well be a balance of zero, right? How much difference is there, right? I mean, we’re talking about one penny! What could you buy with a penny?

You just might be able to buy financial freedom for the rest of your life.

– Jeff Olson

So ask yourself, what can I do tomorrow to make this happen? And what can I do the day after that, and the day after that. Chances are you will make it a few days and then quit. Lets change that, for a limited time, our forums are going to be open to anyone on our mailing list. So join while it is still free. Sign up on our blog at http://innerconfidence.com/blog/forum and post your plan of action to get the support you need. - Robbie

How To Become Awesome With Women in 3 Months

2009-10-20T12:56:00.000-07:00

Why do some men get good with women in 3 months when it took me 3 years? Read on for a chance to qualify for a FREE Coaching Call to DRASTICALLY IMPROVE YOUR RESULTS FAST.

I recently looked back on my 3-year journey of becoming a man who has CHOICE with women and made a startling DISCOVERY...

I asked myself the question: "Why did it take 3 years to get good?" I mean, 3-years is a LONG time and I remember how it felt. Sometimes I felt like I was improving at a light-speed but most of the time, it seemed like nothing was changing. I realized that all the progress I made happened in 3 distinct months... but those 3 months were scattered throughout the 3-year period. This led me to a fascinating discovery....

I realized that I was only taking the consistent action that was inline with my goals about 1/10th of the time! The rest of the time, I was taking action, but I wasn't sure exactly what to do and I didn't know whom to turn to. My friends gave me advice and I did a lot of trial and error but most of the time it felt like I was dragging myself through the mud.

The interesting thing I noticed is that I would only really improve when I knew EXACTLY WHAT TO WORK ON. You see, practice makes perfect, but if your practicing the wrong things, or not practicing at all, you might even start to slip backwards.

Do you REALLY know what you should be working on to improve and get this stuff handled?

If not, then I HAVE A SOLUTION FOR YOU. Brian and I know the importance of getting off your butt and taking action. It is a masculine quality that 99.9% of guys who are good with women have. So here is your chance to get in action and it starts right now.

If you take a few minutes to answer these questions and submit your response, you will be eligible to receive a FREE 1-Hour Coaching Evaluation with either myself or Brian. In the call we get to the heart of some of your challenges with women, and help you evaluate an appropriate course of action moving forward. I can't promise that we will be the perfect match solution for your particular situation, but I can promise you'll leave with a much better understanding of what is holding you back and what can help you. That means you won't have to waste tons of time and money on programs that won't ultimately help you to achieve your goal in the fastest way possible. It is a $149 dollar value but it's free IF you reply within the next four days. We will not be able to respond to everyone so we will choose who we think will benefit the most from the call based on your answers. Here are the five questions:

1. How long have you been in the dating community and why did you join? (be specific)

2. What is your biggest frustration with your ability to meet women right now?

3. Does this same problem/frustration effect the other areas of your life? How so?

4. What have you been doing in the last month to improve? Has it been working? Why/Why Not?

5. What do you want instead? What do you think is a realistic goal for you over the next month?

If you take the time to answer these questions, I GUARANTEE you will be glad you did. The first step to change is awareness, so by answering these questions, you have already taken the first step. Please put "Evaluation Call" in the subject line and submit your responses to info@innerconfidence.com and we'll let you know if you are eligible for the coaching assessment.

Now get off your butt and take some action!

-Robbie Kramer

P.S. - Remember this advice is valued at $149, so please don't wait to review all the material or try every technique out before you try to reach us.

Are You Getting Worse With Women?

2009-10-13T15:05:00.000-07:00

Unless you are living under a rock, I’m sure you have heard of the phrase ‘paralysis by analysis.’ Are you guilty of it?

Lets take a common scenario…

You’re out for lunch and you see a beautiful girl window shopping. You strain to check out her long, tan luscious legs and you are feeling your attraction to her in your gut. Part of you wants to approach and the little voice in your head says… “go talk to her, she is super hot.” But then another little voice says “Yeah right, she wouldn’t like you, you are ugly, she Is way out of your league. Besides, she is probably busy and has a boyfriend and doesn’t want to be bothered, and I’m actually really in a hurry and don’t have time to talk to her anyway. And even if I did, it might be considered cheating on this girl that I went on a date with 2 months ago and never called me back.” Has this ever happened to you? If you said no, you are a POS liar!

**note** pos = piece of shit

Some people might label this approach anxiety, or the fear of rejection, but I’m gonna go ahead and label it something completely different: TYPICAL BEHAVIOR

You see, whenever you set your sights on a task, and you perceive the task as much more difficult then other tasks you have ever encountered, you are going to start freaking out. If you struggle with women, and by struggle I mean, get laid less then once a month, go on less then 10 dates a year if you are single or have not had a relationship in the last 3 years that has lasted longer then a night, then trying to approach a woman I described above is going to be a MUCH more difficult task then you are prepared to accomplish.
If you have never played basketball before, would it be smart to play 1 on 1 vs. Kobe Bryant?

So here is my advice… If you are approaching a lot of women with very little to show for it, or you aren’t approaching women at all, then STOP, because it is making you worse!

Its making you worse because there is a little thing in your head controlling your thoughts and actions. Its called your Unconscious Mind. It is 90% more powerful then your conscious mind and you are most likely a slave to it. It controls you. Without getting scientific or technical, lets just say that all of those voices that tell you not to approach steam from the unconscious mind. So if your unconscious mind is not in alignment with what you want, then its time to change that!

How do you change it?

Its pretty simple, you start to have experiences that challenge your belief systems. To give you one example, how do you think having the experience of COMPLETELY not caring what other people thought of you would change your belief system? Its what we call not being validation seeking. You might have heard a term like that before tossed around the inner game community and you can bet your ass its 100x more important than having a good DHV story. One thing you can do right now to change your belief system is go out of the house and approach 3 people with the intent to get them to say “NO” to you. And when they do, pat yourself on the back. The more daring you are, the more you will get out of this. And there are tons of exercises like these, but unfortunately, meeting and attracting women is not a solo sport, so you’re gonna need some guidance and coaching if you really want to break your patterns and become unconsciously good with women.

Brian and I are putting on a workshop on Nov. 5th where we will be doing exercises that give you an experience of having control over your unconscious, it starts with Inner Confidence Re-Pattering™. You’ll get not just the tools but the actual experience of what it feels like to be an attractive man. For more info, CLICK HERE.

Hope to see you there, its FREE!

Learn Connection... Make More Money $$$

2009-10-08T06:19:00.000-07:00

This was posted in the IC Forums, by user: CDub

Today I had a great experience of how the work I'm doing with IC improves not just my success with women, but also in business. Over the last two weeks, I've done 14 hours of sessions and it's paying off. I do IT consulting and today I had an appointment at an office filled with women.

Even at work, women love banter. I kept it light since it was at an office, but they ate up anyways. I walk up to the counter:

You kinda look like a Chammie. Are you Chammie?
Girl 1: [Laughes.] No I'm not Chammie.
Girl 2: I'm Chammie!
Oh. You look more like a Channy. [It was a stupid joke, but they both laughed.] Anyways, do you know what Tasha looks like?
[Laughes again.] Yes! Let me buzz her.

Tasha (a white girl) comes around the corner, but is a little preoccupied with some paperwork.

Girl 1: She doesn't look like a Tasha, does she? She's not black!
No she doesn't look like a Tasha, but I'm sure she's got a diva inside her. [It was extra funny because she was pregnant.]
[Laughes.] Yeah, look at that tummy!
Yeah, she's all knocked up! [The comment was a little crude for the workplace, but I calibrated from their reactions to my banter that it was OK to be a little more edgy and go there.]
[They laugh hard.]

Tasha: What did you say? [She heard the girls laugh, but didn't hear my comment.]
I said that I knocked on the door and no one answered.
[The two girls at the front desk laugh some more.]

From here, I get walked into the private office where I have my tech stuff to do. I work on that for 30 minutes or so and then the Office Manager woman walks in and is very friendly towards me. (She was in the adjacent office and heard/saw the positive reactions from the girls at the front desk earlier when we were bantering.)

Hey, you work for a tech company. We're looking to replace our main IT guy because they're horrible. They're too small of an operation and can't handle all the complex stuff we have going on.
Oh yeah. We can do that. I bet they don't have any company polo shirts like this one I'm wearing.
[Laughes.] No they don't. And I don't think they really know what they're doing.
Yeah, I'm kinda surprised you guys asked me to come in here and sync this BlackBerry using the cable. All our BlackBerries are synchronized wirelessly in real-time nowadays. No one in business uses cables to sync anymore.
Really? You should come over to my house and set mine up like that.
I don't know...we don't really do house calls [with a naughty smirk on my face].
Oh...[while processing the sexual innuendo].
[After holding the tension for a couple of seconds] What are you going to make for dinner?
I'm an excellent cook! No meat though. I'm vegetarian. Sometimes I do fish.
Oh that's awesome. I took vegan cooking lessons for some time. My favorite thing to make is quinoa. I can cook fish too, but not with a pan because I can't get both sides to cook evenly. I only know how to cook it using my George Foreman Grill.
[Laughes.]
Anyways, what do we do next in order for you to show us what tech stuff you got going on and how we can help?

And the rest of the conversation goes into the logistics of setting up a meeting. I later overhear her reporting to the owner that I'm "amazing!"

All this might sound like I'm tooting my own horn here, but I wanted to share this because it illustrates something interesting that I hadn't really consciously experienced prior to doing this work with IC. Her excitement about my tech services had virtually nothing to do with my technical ability. In our above conversation, I make one small technical comment and the other 95% of the interaction had nothing to do with technology.

I had a touch of sass with my banter, but was mostly just grounded and connected. And it's amazing that with just having that way of being, I conveyed competence (the ability to get things done) and authority on my industry. It was more than enough to be considered a strong candidate for replacing their current tech guys and get my foot in the door to get that meeting.

So the moral of the story: This stuff changes not just your dating life, but everything else around it also gets better.

Review 2009 PUA Summit

2009-09-28T23:53:00.001-07:00

Brian and I just finished an exhausting but fun weekend at this years PUA Summit. The theme was transitioning to sex and we gave a 45 minute talk on the subject. The other speakers included David Wygant, Adam Lyons, Brad P, Johnny Wolf, Vince Kelvin, Daxx, Kosmo, Adonis, DJ Fuji, Speer, Daniel Rose, Mehow, Asain Playboy, and a couple others I’m probably forgetting.

In recap, the most commonly talked about concept was logistics. Logistics – meaning the type of logistical things you need to do to make a smooth transition from the bar stool back to the bedroom. Logistics are important but in my opinion, not what the students should have been focusing on. Lets face it, if you attending a PUA Summit, you’re probably not getting laid very often. My guess would be that no more then 25% of the audience was getting laid on a regular basis (1/month). And if you’re not getting laid, the problem is not logistics, the problem is attraction. I’m starting to see a trend in guys coming into the community. It happened to me, it happened to Brian, and it is probably happening to you. At first, you are enamored with the idea that you can actually learn to be attractive. Gurus offer there latest and greatest routines, techniques, fool proof methods, tactics and tricks that seem like the coolest thing you’ve ever heard of. You go out and try this stuff for a few weeks, have virtually no success but decide that your problem is that you didn’t do enough approaches. WRONG! Or maybe, you decide that you have too much approach anxiety and never even try out the methods, but you talk a lot about them and theorize on the local forums and discussion boards. Maybe you find some wingmen who stand around with and talk about game in the club. 90% of the guys that go down this road quit in less then 3 months. But why?…

Because you are getting suckered in by a bunch of GIMMICKS!!! There is no such thing as a fool proof attraction routine. Every woman is different. YOU CANT GET EVERY GIRL! Nor should you try to. If you really want to get good with the opposite sex, you’re gonna have to put in the effort. And you’re gonna need some guidance. The only surefire way of being successful in this endevour is to follow this formula.

Be Unstoppable & Get Support

Otherwise, you will fail. Simple as that. Stop looking for the easy way out and give yourself at least a year to improve. And as David Wygant said at the Summit, don’t be a PickUp Asshole (PUA).

Don't Practice Pickup

2009-09-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

Question:
Ever since my last session with Inner Confidence, I am having difficulty with practicing pickup. Usually I go out with the intent to try and pick up (I go out during the day and try to open 10 sets). This is because I don’t have 4-5 hours to waste at a bar.

The problem is, now I know that women can sense/feel ur insincerity, now I feel uncomfortable using a routine stack. And since I have doubt in the routine or banter lines, it is a bit discouraging even going out. Seems like all my cards are taken and I’m naked…and if I try to use the lines, she’ll realize how inauthentic I am. Am I paranoid? Are routines evil? Do they lack integrity? I’ve been called out twice for being a pickup artist…and many times I’m certain girls know they are trying to be “picked up”.

I used to use a direct day game model as a guideline for approaching (something to fall back on) — which wassn’t too “gamey”. But its so rare for me to get a number (”hit or miss” as i like to call it). It doesn’t even seem to make sense to me how inconsistent I am getting phone numbers when I go out. I can approach fearlessly direct now, but after that, i’m a bit confused.

How do I go out and “practice” becoming more attractive? Or do I just need to open more sets? How do you incorporate/practice banter lines or even a routine with IC’s paradigm?

Thanks in advance,
B

Answer:
The biggest thing that will hold you back from becoming good with women is trying to become a pickup artist and practicing pickup. I’m really glad you are feeling that insecurity and in-authenticity because that means you’re moving in the right direction. Guys who are naturally good with women don’t ever become good by practicing pickup. They become attractive men by bringing out their natural masculine qualities. These include, their level of groundedness, connecting with people and learning how to manage tension. Brian and I have noticed how much easier it is to coach guys who have never been exposed to the PU Community because their heads aren’t filled with crap. I’m not saying that everything in the community is crap, but most of it is taught by guys who aren’t even getting laid.

Pickup lines and routines are not bad or evil, in fact they can be extremely powerful if you are solid on the inside when you use them. But you should only use a routine if its fun for you, otherwise women will typically sense the agenda. So if you want to practice, start by practicing these things:

1. Do physical exercise that gets you into your body so you can feel your masculine power. Anything will work, just notice when you are in your head verses when you are flowing like an athlete.

2. Practice being social and making connections with strangers (not just women – everyone) If these means approaching them, that’s great, but rather then trying to game them, try to be genuinely interested in who they are.

3. Practice leaning into tension. Check out the many posts in the IC Intensive area, there are a ton of exercises in there or check out Cary’s blog, hes pretty much done them all. http://www.beuncomfortable.com

Do the exercises from the ebook, I know you’ve read it biatch!

I didn’t get a chance to do a session with you yet, but my guess is that your direct approaches aren’t working because women can sense the agenda and you are losing your groundedness and seeking validation during the interaction.

Great question and I’m glad your practicing. Keep it up!

-Robbie

Check out our Training Section on the IC Blog

2009 PUA Summit

2009-09-12T21:48:00.001-07:00

SUMMIT 09 IS GOING TO BE SOLD OUT!!!

It's a matter of days now, as maximum room capacity has been reached, before all Summit TX sales and links are shut down!!!!

LAST CALL FOR $299 TX FOR SUMMIT!!! Not only they are going up to $399 this next week, there's less then 10 spots left!!!

It's no surprise with a line up like this!!! There's even people flying from Europe and Asia to BE THERE!!!

And no, this is not a sales tactic, but simply the reality as it is! We have the biggest room the hotel can give us,
and we are already beyond maximum capacity...Even the speakers themselves may not be able to have seats!!!

Act now, or wait another 365 years before you radically revolutionize your love, sex, and entire life!!!!

This year's theme: TRANSITIONING TO SEX!
Time to go beyond "just approaching and getting numbers", take it all the way to the bedroom!

Sept. 26-27 Hollywood CA, USA...See, hear and meet...

Bad Boy - All the way from Eastern Europe!
The ORIGINAL Direct Tactic Guru!

Lance Mason - Founder of Pick Up 101!

Adam Lyons - America's new favorite rising star,
as seen on UK Reality TV "Rules of Seduction"!

Hypnotica - Hard core inner game guru, from Neil Strauss' "The Game" known
as Rasputin!

Mehow - The originator of in field videos, best selling author of "Get The Girl (TM)",
"Group Attraction (TM)", and "10 Second Sexual Attraction"!

Vince Kelvin - The original NLP for Pickup expert, over 19 years of service to community!

David Wygant - The Orignal "Hitch" - Will Smith's Character was based on
this Natural!

Speer - Lifestyle expert! One of the community's favorite new teachers, breaking it down
simple!

Daniel Rose - Author of The Sex God Method - The community's best expert on
giving female orgasms!

Asian Playboy - Revolutionized how Asian men go about dating - Voted best
Asian pickup artist!

Brad P. - The World's foremost authority on Opening!

Daxx - From Love Systems / Mystery Method Corp. One of Savoy's rising
stars!

Johnny Wolf - ABC's of Attraction Lead Instructor back from Retirement just
to help out for a limited time!

Brian Begin & Robbie Kramer of Inner Confidence - Skyrocket Your Inner Game With The Creators of Inner Confidence Re-Patterning (TM)!

Plus a "New Blood" Panel with...

- Marni from Wing Girls! Get a Female Perspective!
- Adonis! Same Night Lay Expert!
- Zar and Hydro! New Social Science!
- KINO 5000! Against the Ropes- Organic Identity Desire!
- Artisan! The Seduction Coaching Team!
- Simeon! Winner of VH1's "The Pickup Artist"!!!
- Sexual Chocolate! Direct Game!
- Erika Awakening! Female Dating Coach!
- DJ Fuji! Club Game!
- Black Caesar! Miami Natural Game!

If you want tickets, I can get them for 50% off at least. Email me at robbie@innerconfidence.com if your interested.

Flirty/Direct Opener

2009-09-11T14:55:00.001-07:00

This is a demo I did on my girlfriend. Watch her bodylanguage throughout the video, you will notice how subconsciously she opens up. I promise, I did not tell her to do this, it was just her natural reaction and you can see how to spike attraction by being fun, flirty and subcommunicating sexuality.

The Power of Being Direct

2009-09-04T12:00:00.001-07:00

I’m writing this article in honor of a student of ours. His name is Cary and he has been improving at an insane rate since he started our 90 Day Training Program a few months back.

Cary decided to start using a very direct method of approaching women, it consists of saying:

Hi.

What are you doing later?

Wanna come back to my place?

Yeah, I know! Pretty ballsy! Here is a report from Cary from a couple nights back:

So it's almost 11 PM now and some decent looking chicks are starting to come in. Looks like it's not going to be that bad after all. There's this one particular blonde that was looking hot in her 80's outfit for a birthday. She had the curly/frizzy hair, black gloves, pink tank top, black skirt with black leggings, and black heels. Kinda punkish. She was definitely outgoing and social, greeting everyone. She was tall, pretty, and had social value. I don't know if this is going to work.

[She's walking towards the door where I was standing and I extend my hand out to stop her. She reaches for my hand like she's shaking it.]

Hey, how's it going?

Hi! [Smiles.]

What are you doing later?

Blah, blah.

Cool. Do you want to come back to my place?

[Her face is slightly jolted. She pauses and I can tell she's thinking about something.]...Where do you live?

[WTF?!?! That jolted me back.] Uhhh...West LA.

I don't have your number.

[I whip out my phone as this 5'10" 200 lbs. dude with a shaved head and wearing a solid white sweater walks near us. Yeah, he looked like a gangster.]

What's your area code?

[She turns her back towards the big dude and faces me with a cringed sorry look on her face.] I can't do that right now. My boyfriend is right here.

[I just realized she was talking about the big dude. He looked scary, so I played it off like I was just showing her my phone and not trying to get her number.]

Hey check out my new phone. It's awesome. [In hindsight, what I really should have done was have her introduce me to the boyfriend. That would amp up the tension and attraction some more. I could have also then told the bf that her gf was cool but I didn't.

I didn't even get your name.

It's.....uhh it doesn't matter. I'll catch up with you later.

I was frankly shocked by her response. She was an interested party girl. My plan was to find her alone again later and get the digits, but that didn't happen. She was quite social and rarely alone. On top of that, as time went on, the bf looked scarier and scarier and I gave it up. It hooked though! And hooked hard.

Now, why will this approach work for Cary but maybe not for you? Cary has gotten to the point where he is no longer seeking approval from women. He is unattached to the outcome and is non-reactive to her response. If you’re wondering how to improve this in yourself then watch the video on grounding in our Video & Trainings Section on the top bar on this blog. Cary also started his own blog on becoming a badass. Check it out here: Cary’s Blog

How To Get A Raise, Promotion or a Job in A Shitty Economy

2009-08-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

Let’s face it guys, if you’re struggling with women then I would be willing to bet my 89 Ford Pinto that you are also getting pushed around in your job. If you haven’t seen the movie ‘Office Space’ then you need to rent it because Peter is the perfect example of a concept that is going to change your life. Maybe you get pushed around and have to come in on Saturdays or the boss is always giving you extra assignments but you think, “Its ok, I’m just being a good employee.” Maybe you’ve noticed that you are getting paid the same amount as some other schlub who does way less then you. Well, if you are then it could be more serious then you realize…

But if you are waiting for life to happen rather then making things happen, you’re gonna be waiting for a longgggggg time. You may not realize how easy it is to get a raise, promotion or even start you own company so I’m gonna do my best to show you whats in your way. It’s a word you may have heard before and it probably has some sort of negative or heavy feeling in your mind…

Responsibility

Did you just hear the voice of your mother lecturing you? There is a huge myth about the word responsibility and I’m gonna bust that myth for you right now. The funny thing is that even the dictionary has a negative connotation around this word:

‘Responsibility’ –noun, plural -ties. — a particular burden of obligation upon one who is responsible: the responsibilities of authority.

Myth: Responsibility is something to be avoided

Fact: Responsibility is your ticket to a life of abundance.

Take a look at the top dogs of business, the real estate moguls, and the captains of industry. What is the one thing they all have in common besides being rich and powerful? They all have a SHIT-LOAD of responsibility. They have to make the big decisions, solve problems, manage projects, direct people and lead fearlessly. How did these guys get to the top? They all took on more and more responsibility. Sometimes, they were given things or people to be responsible for but regardless, they all walked into the challenge head on and took action. These are not the type of guys who sit around and hope and pray for raises, promotions from their boss. I know this because I used to work for a Wall Street style Venture Capital Firm. I started as a junior associate and 1 year later I was the Vice President/Managing Director with a country club membership and the freedom to report to the office at my leisure. How did I do it? Here’s the short version of the story. I simply looked for problems and solved them. I wasn’t given this task, I simply decided to take it on because I was annoyed with how things were being run and I saw an opportunity to improve them and make life easier on myself. Pretty soon, I found myself in a position of power because without me, my boss would have to deal with these problems himself, which he did not have the desire or time to do. I used this leverage to move myself up the ladder and 1 year later, I was free from the 9-5 and I still had my job, with a raise and hefty expense account! You may be thinking that I’m a fool for giving that up to start my own company but living the life of a 65 year old country club retiree at the age of 25 is only glamorous for the first few months.

Here’s the moral of the story, if you are stuck in your routine and watching the clock tick by at work, add some responsibility to your day and watch what happens, you will be amazed. More on the subject coming soon…

Transitioning To Sex

2009-08-20T20:38:00.001-07:00

Question: “If you had to give one tool, concept, or understanding right away help the guys out there to start to transition into sex more efficiently, what would it be?”

Answer:

Seducing a woman is more like a dance or feeling then it is about a technique or knowing what to do. It’s about feeling into her resistance and dancing with it. Her resistance aka ’shit tests’ are part of the dance. Its about taking your time and not rushing it.
The easiest way to move toward sex is to allow yourself to be completely turned on by her. The more turned on you become while staying grounded or, in other words, letting go of all need for her to validate you, the more attracted she will become. Emotions are contagious so don’t be afraid to let yourself be turned on by her, just don’t look for anything in return. Now you can start to dance with sexual tension. This is where you look for places to raise tension.

Now, the key to playing with tension is to be able to feel it in relation to how it is affecting her and to raise it right to her limits and sometimes maybe just a little beyond. You can then back off for a bit then raise it again. Each time you will get closer and closer to sex. This is where women will often start to through up road blocks. You might bump into her, look her dead in the eyes for a little to long slide down her forearm and start holding her hand. Now you can feel the tension building, it’s actually palpable. She is holding your hand, squeezing it back and you look in her eyes again. The gaze lasts a little longer than last time and again the tension raises so you gently start to lean in for the kiss and suddenly she turns away. So you take this with stride back up a step or two and then start raising it again.

Eventually, if you don’t lose your calm centered place when she turns away, she will be begging for the kiss. Continue the dance and don’t rush it. If you play with tension well (moving two steps forward and one step back) and stay calm in the resistance you will get comments like “you are such a tease which is her way of saying I want more now. When figuring out how to dance with tension look at your sense and ask yourself “how can I push into tensions with each sense?” You might touch to much or in more vulnerable places. You might check her out in an obvious way. You might use inference and sexual innuendos… I’m sure you can make some up for taste and smell. The key is that you own your desire, be turned on, connected and in control. You don’t need her. You have chosen her.

If You Live In SoCal, Meet Me Tomorrow Night

2009-08-13T01:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Friend,

Have you been working on your ability to meet and attract women for months …even years…and you’re still struggling to get phone numbers, dates, great sex or the relationship you’ve always wanted?

So if you’re sick and tired of your endless uphill struggle to be able to choose the women you have in your life and they all just keep slipping through your fingers…

Then you’re about to discover how to be truly confident and powerful on the inside as you effortlessly draw beautiful sexy women into your life and into your bed…

And then have them wanting to come back to you for more… and more… and more…”

We’ve taught hundreds and hundreds of men just like you a proven system that has empowered them to quickly and easily attract the women they desire.

Just like it was for us in the past, what’s missing for you is a whole new set of simple, yet powerful skills. New strategies that will show you how to permanently replace fear with confidence and attract women immediately. It starts with our cutting-edge proven system called Inner Confidence Re-Patterning™. This four-part system has the power to be effective for 97% of all men who have successfully applied for our programs.

If you give us just 3 hours, we’ll teach you this field-tested proven system as well. And we don’t want anything to get in your way, so we’d like to give you the gift of a FREE FULL SCHOLARSHIP to the Sexually Confident Man Intensive Seminar.

But before we tell you all about this powerful intensive (and why we’re offering you a FREE Full Scholarship) we’d love to share our story with you… Read More CLICK HERE

Meet the Experts – Learn How to Flirt and the Unspoken Laws of Social Attraction

2009-08-11T09:48:00.000-07:00

This Wednesday August 12th at 1 p.m. PST WooMe.com is hosting the event “Learn the Secrets of Attracting Anyone”. This is your chance to meet leaders in the industry who are ready to give you free tips on how to loosen up, stop being socially awkward and get on with members of the opposite sex.

Here’s the line up, check them out and get ready for answers! …for more info click here http://blog.woome.com/meet-the-experts-learn-how-to-flirt-and-the-unspoken-laws-of-social-attraction/

Does your best Pick Up Line have what it takes to win?

2009-08-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

Come to WooMe to ask me about the secrets of attracting anyone! I'll be on live video chat with other industry experts so add me as a friend and follow me on twitter so you can find out when!

Enter the WooMe contest to win $3600 worth of prizes, just click here for your chance to win exclusive VIP Access to WooMe.com for you and 10 friends and be featured on the WooMe blog as the world’s best “Pick Up Artist”, a “Secrets of Attracting Anyone” workshop from REAL dating and relationship experts, and an exclusive limited edition WooMe T-shirt.

Is This Your Biggest Problem?

2009-08-01T09:50:00.000-07:00

I’ve spoken with hundreds of men, men who just want to be themselves and attract the women of their dreams. But they end up struggling to meet women, get dates, have great sex, and have fulfilling relationships.

But since, they have never been successful by just being themselves, instead, they try to learn all the "material," the "stuff" the lines and routines that mask their true selves and their true nature.

This is a HUGE problem.

Now the reason most men are struggling is not because they do not have an amazing personality to offer women, it’s because they don’t know how to communicate that personality. Shyness, social anxiety, past traumas, negative experiences and fear all add to this problem and it’s often easier for most guys to just give up than get this part of their life handled.

Most self-help and dating products tell you a bunch of things to do, but they forget to focus on who you are being first.

There is a very technical term for this phenomenon, which we call “Whipped Cream on Shit.” If you tell an extremely shy, insecure, and unconfident man the greatest pickup line in the world, its not going to work very often, because who he is being is shy, insecure, and unconfident when he says it to a woman.

He may be able to fake it once or twice but its not going to take long until she smells the shit under that whipped cream, and walks away…

Because women, by nature, are far more intuitive and emotionally intelligent than we could EVER hope to be. Women live in the land of feeling and are more loyal to their feelings than what makes logical sense. If they can’t feel you they don’t care how right you are.

So when you only focus on "what to do," everything you do is agenda based. And when women can sense that you have an agenda while interacting with them, they will usually be extremely turned off. If you are in your head analyzing, plotting the next routine, "calibrating" the situation, then women will have a hard time feeling you.

If they can’t feel you they can’t get attracted to you or trust you.

Think of bad actors. They might be good looking but they are communicating from their heads. They often look like robots on stage or might be overly dramatic like they are trying to feel rather than just feeling .

This is what we call agenda based communication and it’s just like bad acting.

So if you have heard that routines and patterns are the answer then I’m telling you is that you've been misled… and it's NOT your fault!

So there you have it. The deep, underlying problem that the majority of men face when trying to attract extraordinary women.

It's a surgery caliber problem that most "teachers" out there are trying to fix with band-aids and kisses. Unfortunately, that's NEVER going to work.

So what IS the solution to this problem? Let me explain by showing you a common human thought process.

HAVE --> DO --> BE

Most people believe that once they HAVE the things they want in life, then they can DO the things they want to do, and then, they will BE happy.

"Someday" when I lose weight and buy some new clothes, I'll be ready to meet women...

“Someday” when I have that 7 figure bank account, then I can take that trip around the world, then I’ll be happy...

“Someday” when I have the women of my dreams, I’ll be able to do all those things couples do, and then I’ll be happy...

Here is the problem with “Someday...” it happens right after you take a 6 foot drop!

You never get there, its always out in the future, and if you do get something you want “Someday” before you die, it never really makes you happy, at least not for very long.

Here is the worst mistake men make. They tell themselves “I don’t have women in my life, so I better start doing the things to get one.” If you are one of these guys, don’t feel bad, we were too! But guess what, that model hasn't worked thus far, has it? If you're reading this letter to this point, I'm sure you want the REAL solution. So lets tweak the model a bit.

BE --> DO --> HAVE

First, you BE attractive, then you will naturally DO the things that suck extraordinary women into your reality, and then you will HAVE an abundance of beautiful women in your life. Cool, huh?

Unfortunately, most self-help and dating products tell you a bunch of things to do, but they forget to focus on who you are "being" first.

Okay, let me break this down for you in one sentence. Ready?

Women are attracted to a man’s sexual presence and masculinity, not his "attempt" at sexual presence and masculinity...

The true power of your attractiveness to women isn't in the words. It's in the MAN BEHIND THE WORDS. It's in your sexual masculine nature, your ability to be grounded in the face of tension or danger, your ability to connect on a deep emotional, your discipline, your focus and your presence.

This is so true, that if you were truly grounded and connected, you could say to a woman, "Do you like pancakes?" and she would melt like butter. You want to make women melt? Or one woman melt for decades? Then know the difference between conveying confidence and BEING confident. Between conveying masculine solidity and BEING solid. And that's not something you can just hope and wish for. It's a switch you need to make. It's a CHOICE you need to make.

And then you need to follow it up with practices that support your choice.

So if you want to attract a lot of women, develop these ways of being and you will never need to rehearse pickup lines, routines, magic tricks, suck in your gut, flash your wad of cash, go on elaborate dates, brag, or buy her diamond earrings again.

Easier said than done, right?

Don't worry.

We know you probably haven't been practicing your "connection" and "groundedness" exercises regularly.

In fact, this may be the first time you've even heard these terms in detail.

That is, unless you're a yoga master, a highly trained martial artist, or a natural, social genius.

And yes, it takes time to develop these core areas of your being.

• It means training your subconscious to rise up and above the insecurities, pains, and frustrations of the past.

• It means taking control of your emotions and being completely grounded in your heart, with no agenda or attachment to outcome.

• It means being absolutely certain of your masculinity and your solidarity in the moment.

• And usually, it takes years of practice and discipline to get to this state.

• Fortunately, it doesn't have to be this way for you...

I wrote an ebook called "Dynamic Dating: How to Attract Women in an Authentic and Natural Way"

The Dynamic Dating Ebook focuses on your BEING. In other words, how you feel and the energy you radiate as you are talking with women. It’s using your right brain and body rather then your analytical mind and without it, you would just be practicing a bunch of techniques that wouldn’t feel authentic to you.

The best part?

It's in a very simple, easy to learn format for you to digest. You see, there are 7 dynamics of every successful Dynamic Dating conversation, and by absorbing and understanding them, you can quickly and easily trigger massive respect, intrigue, and attraction, no matter what you say or do. To pick up a copy or learn more, visit www.innerconfidence.com/page3.html

I also just posted a ton of training videos on the Inner Confidence Blog that will help you shift your way of being around sexy women. You can watch them all by clicking this Link. If you have any questions please leave a comment or email me at Robbie@innerconfidence.com. I love answering emails from you guys so don’t hesitate!

Are You Insane?

2009-07-28T22:56:00.000-07:00

If you haven’t heard me say this, then get used to it because you will continue to hear it if you continue to read my articles. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. So if you are doing this, STOP IT!

Ponder these questions for yourself:

How long have you been stuck with accomplishing a specific goal in your dating life?
Have you ever mapped out exactly what you want and written it down?
What are your normal course of actions when it comes to meeting members of the opposite sex?
What is working?
What isn’t working?
What do you keep telling yourself to do over and over but are still not doing it?
Where are you operating like an insane person?

I see this time and time again. Guys are fed up with their situation with women and they just sit around and hope something will magically change. The odds of that happening are slightly better then the poor guy who sits around all day and hopes to become a millionaire. The only way that happens is if he wins the lottery. See the correlation?

First off, if you are reading this and fall into the category I described above, don’t beat yourself up, because you are already taking action by simply reading this article. The first step to change is consciousness. If you can’t see what you are doing, then you can’t change it. So as a practice, write down all the ways you are going about improving your relationships with women and really examine them. If you are too lazy to do this, then at least think about it. Next, write down exactly what you want. For the first 3 guys that email me this assignment, I’ll give you a free 30 minute coaching call to get you on the right path. Email me at Robbie@innerconfidence.com

How The “Dating Community” Can Make You Worse With Women.

2009-07-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

I’ve known this for a long time, but I’ve never really written about it because I didn’t want to offend guys that really love the community.

Disclaimer: I am not writing this to bash the community or guys in it, my intention is for you to read this and ask yourself this question: “Am I really taking the necessary steps in the right direction or am I distracting myself?” Ponder away…

If you don’t know what the dating community is, then you are probably better off if you actually want to be good with women. The community or “local lairs” were designed back in the early 2000’s as a resource for guys to pool their “pickup” knowledge and help each other out. The whole idea is to meet other guys who are interested in picking up women and coach each other through the process to become master pickup artists. I guess it sounds good on paper but it just doesn’t work. It didn’t work for me and it doesn’t work for 95% of guys that I’ve met.

Why not?

The community is like the blind leading the blind. If you are a new guy joining, there are hundreds of guys who will jump at the opportunity to take you under their wing and teach you their method, but most of the time, these teachers are awful with women. So you move from mini-guru to mini-guru and all the while you are getting more baffled by more and more information to cloud your analytical mind. Now all of sudden you have these new friends “wings” who you go out with and rather then spend anytime talking to women, you are strategizing and trying to pump each other up in the corner of the venue. The odds of any of you going home with a girl are slim to none and when someone actually accomplishes this feat, they are hailed as a king for a couple of days and pages and pages of commentary, breakdowns and ego stroking are written across the message boards and exchanged via email. If you take a step back and really look at what is going on here is what you might find:

Your new best friends “wings” may not really be your friends. Do you have anything in common with these guys other then the fact that you are both into getting laid? Would you hang out with them to just hang out with the guys? If the answer is NO, then something is off.

You are more excited about the idea of writing up a field report then you are about meeting women. This can quickly turn into the keyboard jockey syndrome.

You know a SHITLOAD about meeting women but you aren’t actually getting the love, sex and intimacy you know you want deep down, which was probably the real reason you got into all of this.

You are stoked because you have now become a mini-guru and other guys look up to your advice.

All you can think about is “sarging” or going to pickup women and it is starting to consume your life.

These were all things that I personally experienced and when I look back, it was mostly a big waste of time. But it wasn’t all for not, those experiences led me to where I am now and I really thankful for that.

Lets examine guys that are actually good with women and how they operate. Most guys that suck with women are very jealous and envious of guys that are good because it seems like dating beautiful women is something that just happens to them. First off, if you are angry and spiteful of these guys then you are telling the universe something and its not serving you. You are basically saying “Fuck these guys, its not fair that they have it so easy, lucky bastards.” and that is the same as saying “I don’t want to be like them so I better keep sucking with women.” Its like poor people who hate the rich. Do you think they will ever become rich? No, because they would rather have their complaint then take the necessary steps to get rich.

Guys that are good with women learned it somewhere, they developed confidence at a young age. Success breeds success. Luckily, you can do the same thing, you just have to stop focusing on the tactics and tips to improve and actually make the change in your body.

I could go on for days about this subject but remember, the point is to ask yourself this question: “Am I really taking the necessary steps in the right direction or am I distracting myself?” If you are distracting yourself then CHANGE something, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.

Robbie's Story

2009-07-01T23:00:00.001-07:00

Robbie's Story from Robbie Kramer on Vimeo.

We're In New York... Bitch

2009-06-10T12:30:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

If any of you are in the NYC area, then I would love to meet you in person at our upcoming Free seminar, Tuesday June 16h from 7-8PM in the Manhattan Financial District. For more info and to register visit www.innerconfidence.com/blog/seminar

Hope to see you there.

-Robbo

The DREADED Friend Zone

2009-06-10T11:43:00.000-07:00

I found this on the Onion, it is hilarious and if you are finding yourself in this situation, you need immediate help! You can also read it here.

Do you have a girl (friend) who sounds like this?

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.

Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.

Best friends. Friends forever.

When to make the move...

2009-06-01T21:36:00.000-07:00

Below is excerpt from our book, enjoy...

Im sure youve noticed a lot of pushy guys try to con a woman into giving him her number or force his business card on her. If they get the number, they win. If not, they lose. That is why people have a bad reaction to men hitting on women. Women are very savvy to this.

As soon as they feel manipulated or pressured, they will pull their energy away and
blow you out of the water. You may or may not be very intuitive and receptive to energy, but this will help you become more conscious of it, which will make life and dealing with women much easier for you.

Below is a scale called the Attract-O-Meter. On the left side is Aggressive and on the
right side is Passive. Most of you reading this book will fall into the “Passive” category.

Most really aggressive guys are very egotistical and are so aggressive that they will
eventually get a few women to bite, leaving them feeling really cool and macho—much
too cool to read a book like this.

{ ______________ I __________________}
Aggressive is on the left, and passive on the right.

Being passive is tragic, because if you are a passive pushover, you dont walk into
tension and ask women to take the next step, thus robbing them of the experience to be
with you. At the same time, you dont want to push women away by being too
aggressive. The higher quality women will not tolerate this type of behavior and will walk away.

In the Inner Conﬁdence Intensive Workshop you get to practice this with beautiful
women who will give you feedback in the safety of the workshop.

During the workshop we encourage you to be aggressive so you can see just how far to
take things. You would be amazed just how aggressive you can be if you are grounded
in the dynamics. Brian and I have walked up to women and starting making out with
them in under ﬁfteen seconds numerous times. A gorgeous woman I met in a bar
demanded that I take her home to bed after knowing her for ﬁve minutes! Believe it or not, when you are grounded with an open heart, you have more permission than you
think you have. And wed rather you experience this in a safe place. Because out in the
world, you may get a drink thrown in your face or you may get yelled at.

Now, if you are not so bold with people that they occasionally confuse you with an
aggressive pushy guy, you are playing it too safe. As a man, youve got to want them
badly and not apologize about it, but you cant be attached. Once you get attached, they may pull their energy away. Now, knowing what to do after they pull away is what
separates the men from the boys. In fact, many women will intentionally pull away to
“test” you to see just how badly you want them.

If you are not willing to ﬁght for them or stick around when things get intense, how can they trust you? Here is the secret: when you start to get attached, simply admit it by calling it out with a smile. “Im feeling a little bit pushy, but how can you blame me?

Look at yourself, how can you not expect me to be turned on?” Just by saying it, you
can let it go and you can even tell them, “I am only telling you this because I want to give you the freedom to walk away. I dont want to push you into anything, and if you walk away it will hurt and Ill be sad, but I would rather you do that then be nice to avoid hurting my feelings.” Your role is to dance between the dynamics. You may occasionally get too aggressive but that is okay.

At any given time, the woman you are interacting with may be directing her energy
toward you or pulling away from you. Dont worry if she is pulling away from you a little bit. As we said before, she may be testing you, and if a woman does not test you, she is not interested. Women fall in love through resistance, and she has to test you to see if she can trust you with her emotions. If she leans away and every time you come crawling back begging and pleading with her to not be upset or angry with you, she will feel smothered and run.

It is okay to stand your ground, even if she is angry with you. Give her the gift of being angry and allow her to experience her emotions; they will pass quickly if you stop resisting them. Rub your hands together until they get hot and then move them so they are six inches apart. Can you still feel the connection between your hands? Thats like the connection between you and a woman. As your connection gets stronger, they will lean in to the point where your ﬁngertips are touching, and then you may say something to trigger them or they will test you and lean away. You never know, but instead of playing tug-of-war with her, you dance with the dynamics.

How you respond to a womans energetic lean away and tests will determine how
successful you are with women.

Instead of making yourself wrong for causing their behavior, simply choose a dynamic to stand in, get curious with them. “I noticed you just seemed to pull away, is that true?” If they say “Yes,” ask them, “Whats that about?” That may be enough to have them lean back in. For other women, you might need to joke with them, playfully tease them, or get really bold and even challenge them. You may need to acknowledge them or connect with them. Whats funny is that this may cause them to lean away even more.

The most important thing is to pay more attention to the Attract -O-Meter then anything else. This means that you will have to learn how to dance between the dynamics to create more leaning in. As you get more grounded, present and fearless, youll become more intuitive about which dynamics to step into to create a stronger lean in. If you take anything from this section take this:

Unless you have a really strong lean in, do not ask them to take the next step with you!

In other words, the only time you ask her to take the next step with you, whether that be kissing her, getting her number, asking for a date—make sure you have a strong lean in. When the moment is right and she is leaning in, that is when you go for the kiss.

For more information about Dynamic Dating, please visit: www.innerconfidence.com/home.html

Sticking Points?

2009-05-24T15:06:00.001-07:00

Hey Guys,

I wanted to let you guys in the most effective way to blast through any sticking points you may have.

Since I joined the community in early 06, I've never improved as fast as I have in the last 2 months. My problem was that I wasn't getting the results I wanted but I was focusing on the wrong things. I thought my problems stemmed from not enough kino, or not enough banter. I kept trying to work on all these different aspects of my game but it started to get really tiring and I wasn't getting any better. Then my buddy Brian and I started using HD video to film ourselves interacting with hot women. We learned a technique to analyze ourselves that reaches way beyond body language and the words coming out of our mouths. We started to see what was really in our way from making HUGE progress. Once we saw where we were stuck, we started doing exercises to work on the areas we were struggling with and our results when through the roof. Brian is dating women wayyyy out of his league previously (Miss Teen Georgia) and I have a bisexual girlfriend who goes out with me to pick up other women.

The process I described above is the best resource for improving I've ever come across. Its fast and its easy, and it works. If you guys wanna check it out and see where you are at, I want to invite you to our FREE Inner Game workshop in LA on Saturday May 30th from 12-3PM. This may be the last time we are offering it in SoCal for a long time. My promise to you is that you'll see exactly where you stand and what you need to do to improve. Stop wasting time getting marginally better at a slow rate and get this shit handled once and for all. Hope to seeya in LA, for more information and to register for the event, visit:

www.innerconfidence.com/blog

Cheers,

Robbie

If you live in LA..

2009-05-04T21:30:00.001-07:00

And you haven't come to the Inner Confidence Intensive you are total a**hole! Here are the reasons why...

1. Its being offered on a full scholarship, in other words... its FREE.
2. If you read my blog and you've never given me the honor to meet you. I love when I meet guys who enjoy my blog and tell me about it.
3. You are missing out on the easiest way to get really really REALLY good with women.
4. You aren't giving me the chance to sell you into a program. OK, I know you're thinking this anyway so I'm calling it out. But seriously, this workshop has the potential to change your life, and so does the follow up program we offer at the end to transform duds into Don Juans.

Here is a recent testimonial:

I've made amazing progress since I took your one day workshop... just about every girl I approach now opens up with ease.. I've talk to so many girls every night that I lose count... I'm able to stay in set for as long as I want.. and I had approach anxiety really bad... I explained to Brian how I used your basic concepts, along with some of my own ideas, which propelled me forward to an amazing level..

To check out the details and register visit:

www.innerconfidence.com/blog

I Need To Post More!

2009-05-04T21:13:00.000-07:00

Just saying...

How to kill off your ego and become powerfully attractive

2009-03-05T01:18:00.000-08:00

I'de like to think that I have a pretty good understanding of this topic considering I spend hours a day working on it, but that may just be my ego talking! lol :D

I realized about a year and a half ago that all the things that I thought would make me happy were just ego boosters. All I cared about was making a shit a load of money, fucking hot women, playing really great golf and traveling. Now you might say "Whats wrong with that?" and truth is, there is nothing wrong with wanting those things. The problem didn't lie with the wanting, but with my ego. The only reason I really wanted them wasn't because I thought they would make me happy, but it was to get the validation from others that would make me happy. I just wanted to be envied by other men and I wanted everyone to tell me how great I am so I could feel validated. The point I am trying to make here, is that the real ego death comes when you stop seeking validation. When I realized that I became incredibly fascinated with personal growth. The Pickup community was my access to it. I've taken a shit load of personal growth seminars, read a ton of books and had hundreds of fascinating conversations on the subject. For me, it all comes down to loving yourself and finding true happiness. Easier said then done...

Regardless, the access for me was developing consciousness. I'm not just talking about mental consciousness but body consciousness. In fact, body consciousness is far more important IMO. Humans are the only species that we know of that are conscious of our feelings. That is why we have an ego and a dog does not. Because we are conscious of our feelings, we can use them to manipulate each other. So we learn at a young age to be inauthentic to get what we want and out of this we develop our ego. A dog is never inauthentic, what you see is what you get, which is why people love dogs and most animals for that reason. We are never worried about a dog fucking us over unless we are insane. ;) So the access to consciousness is to see where we are being phony, inauthentic or manipulative, and start being real, all the time, no matter what. So the first step is being conscious of when we are doing these behaviors and the most powerful tool I have found is HD video. The video has no ego, it doesn't lie and its pretty easy to see where you are being fake. The only problem is, your ego is so clever that it will not allow you to really see some of the big inauthenticities because your ego, is your ego and it doesn't want itself to die. Haha I hope that made sense. So the next step is finding a committed group to call you out on your shit and hold you to be the best man you can be. As I am writing this, I am thinking... "Shit I bet the guys reading this are thinking that I am just saying all this stuff to pitch the video work I do! And if they think that, they aren't gonna like me!" Do you see how that is just my ego talking. But ego aside, it works, so even though I care if people like me, i'm not gonna let it stop me from delivering my message, speaking my truths and living my purpose. Shit now I sound like a reverend or something! Regardless, I hope these ramblings made sense.

Bottom Line: To kill off your ego, first you need to isolate it, and then take the necessary steps to STOP it from running your life so you can find and live your purpose. This is true consciousness.

Meet me on Sunday in LA!

2009-02-26T00:59:00.000-08:00

Just for you LA Guys: Unless you feel like flying in? Check it out www.innerconfidence.eventbrite.com

An open letter to men who are frustrated with memorizing openers, routines, and rehearsing material, but aren't getting the success they want with women...

"Give Us Just 1 Day And We Will Teach You The Essential, Natural And Heart Based Strategies To Attract Beautiful Women, Easily And Effortlessly... For The Rest Of Your Life...

From Robbie Kramer and Brian Begin, Los Angeles, CA, USA

Dear Friend,
Have you been working on your ability to meet and attract women for months …even years…and you're still struggling to get phone numbers, dates, great sex or the relationship you've always wanted?
Or are you a guy who has just found out about the underground seduction community with high hopes for success, but you’re unsure how to get started, and you're feeling completely STUCK?
Maybe you've been dating lots of women but you can't seem to find that perfect match or you feel as if the women you really want are out of your league but don't know where to begin to make changes.
Well, we’ve been there. And it's totally frustrating!
It’s tough when you're doing all that you can to get out there out but there are so many things to do and not enough time to get it all done. And it's especially tough when you really want to meet that special girl that can just see you for you but feel too uncomfortable or nervous around her to let that side of yourself out.
Let me tell you, you’re doing a lot and that’s great.
But something’s MISSING, and you’ve known it…

“THE CONFIDENCE!!!”

But if you don’t have the CONFIDENCE, you can’t just magically wake up one day and feel like a powerful, confident man.
The truth is, you have to be confident to attract beautiful women... or sooner or later you'll have to settle for a woman you aren't crazy for or end up alone.
So, unless you start feeling and exuding that CONFIDENCE, your love life is not going to get better then it is now.
We both learned this the hard way... when we started to get this area of our life handled, we tried just about everything to get better with women and we had all the problems we listed above and more.
"Growing REAL confidence, not something faked on the outside, but an internal state and way being completely changed our lives"
If you’ve heard Brian and I speak before, you’ve heard us say that when women smell real confidence, they can't leave you alone and since we started doing exercises and practices to develop this in ourselves, we started dating beautiful women and having the time of our lives.
We’ve helped hundreds of men (instead of just a handful) do the same and even become more attractive to women then us!

It's honestly been a dream come true, allowing us to:
Spend our time with women we chose
Easily and powerfully attract the women we desire
Keep a steady flow of sexy women into our life
Be absolutely confident around women
Quickly, deeply & honestly connect with women creating powerful passion
And, most important to us, live our LIFE PURPOSE!
For us, living our LIFE PURPOSE means being able to make a BIG difference in so many lives and know we are having a positive impact in the world.
Now, we're not sharing about our life to brag.
Instead, we hope to inspire you to see that the life you want to create for yourself IS POSSIBLE. You can honor what really matters to you AND be successful.
There are specific tools you can learn to become powerfully attractive to women. Once you learn these tools there is really NOTHING STOPPING YOU from creating the relationship(s) of your dreams!

This is what George had to say:

"The Inner Confidence 1 Day Intensive was a great experience for me. If you are “On the fence” about taking a dating workshop I would recommend you check this workshop out. It goes right to the core of who you are and whats going on with you emotionally in the area of romance. No funny names, no “pick up routines” no fake stories tricking women into liking you, just 100% real emotional connection and strengthening your inner confidence. This is the necessary evolution of so called “pick up arts” into something more meaningful and organic."

George, 27 Los Angeles

“Attract Women Using Natural, Heart-Based Principles”

Robbie’s Story
When I (Robbie) was in high school and college, I didn't know anything about attracting women. I remember being dumped on Valentines Day in 2005 and feeling like I was never gonna be able to meet another girl, have great sex and fall in love again. Whenever I used to try to talk to beautiful women, it was as if I turned into this totally different person that didn’t feel at all like me.
I always felt like the least confident person whenever I went to a bar or social event and left feeling disappointed and overwhelmed.
Then I read "The Game" and went online and learned about all these methods to attract women and began to try them out. I've always been a goofball and jokester so being playful came pretty naturally to me. I heard about all these dating gurus talking about the importance of connection and rapport so I developed stories and interesting questions to keep the conversation going.
It was fantastic… for the first 3 days. But month after month of no improvement started to take a toll on me.
I could never figure out why I got so many phone numbers but comparatively much fewer dates. I was always thinking of new routines, stories and tricks to connect with women but it only lead to mediocre results.
At one point I got fed up. I realized that I was put on this Earth to make a difference and that there must be an easy, natural and heart-based way to become wildly successful with women.
So, instead of trying to reinvent the wheel. I made a whatever-it-takes decision. I decided that I was going to do whatever it took to find the right mentors and learn the key principles to become powerfully attractive in a way that was congruent with MY values. Most importantly, I committed to stretching and growing MYSELF so I could be living my mission and making the difference I was put here to make.
Through the help of some key mentors and coaches, I created some really powerful exercises to strip away everything that was holding me back from success. Within 3 months I tripled my success and had a whole new reality with women.

Brian’s Story
My (Brian's) story is a little different. It's been a long road getting to where I'm at today. I was painfully shy and introverted going as far back as I can remember. I spent my childhood and teenage years feeling like I was locked in a prison.
In my early twenties, I started reading personal growth books and went to school to learn hypnosis. After years of practicing hypnosis I was still really shy with women so I decided it was time to get this area of my life handled once and for all.
I started studying pickup and in time became a head instructor for PickUp 101. My skills with women were improving rapidly along the way and after dating more confident women than I had ever dated before I got my heart broken on a whole new level. At this point I realized that this work had more to do with inner issues than outer technique so I continued my search...
After studying different forms of desensitization, Tantra and using a mix of other techniques my success with women and overall happiness in general sky rocketed. When I looked back at my first year of failing to attract women, I realize that there really was nothing wrong with me. I was just missing the knowledge and step by step process I needed to improve rapidly.
After witnessing the power of this type of work, I started a company with my good friend, Robbie Kramer, and Inner Confidence was born. Together, we developed the Inner Confidence Model into the powerful female magnet tool it is today. Our business grew quickly, to the point that it has now become more like a movement. We feel so blessed to teach the world’s most authentic men (that’s YOU!) how to attract women into their lives while staying true to their values.
“Here’s What We Learned…"
All men want to be THEMSELVES while being able to
attract the women they desire

Instead, they try to learn all the "material," the "stuff" the lines and routines that mask their true selves and their true nature.
“So, Are You Ready to ATTRACT WOMEN Quickly and Easily?”
If the answer is “Yes!” we’ll help you get started right away.

When you register for the Inner Confidence Day Intensive, what used to seem difficult before will now seem like second nature to you.
In only 1 Day you’ll learn:
The three keys to becoming a naturally attractive man who has choice with women.

How to meet women in a dynamically authentic and natural way. Forget using any lines, routines, or canned material. Finally... you're going to discover how to be magnetic, compelling, and charismatic, all by being genuinely you...
How to create instant connection that leads to hot sex. (we'll teach you 3 simple ways) and why connection matter more then anything you say to a woman.
Exactly why women love to resist men and how to use it to your advantage in a way that will only make them even more attracted to you.
Warning! What NOT to do if you want to start conversations with ease and grace... no matter how many other "gurus" tell you to do this!
How to unlock your authentic masculine presence and really understand what it means to be an alpha male.
And so much more!

"Well Now YOU Have ATTRACTED the Right Support”
Here is What Other Men Have Said About This Workshop...

“This simple 1 Day Program has made a huge difference in my life. It’s like being handed a map that I should have had years ago! It set me on the path where I started dating the women I thought I could never get. Thank you Robbie and Brian for your wisdom, support, acknowledgement and skill building.”
James 30, Los Angeles

My name is John and I am 28. There were a lot of reasons why I took the Inner Confidence Workshop but it all comes down to a simple concept - a life without limitations. I realize that the only limitations I have are the ones I created for myself. It's time to stop holding back and to act with my full potential. Prior to the workshop, I felt as if I hit a dead end. I could see where I needed to go but it was a level deeper than what I could reach on my own. Over the course of the workshop, I felt myself letting go of old issues and opening up in new ways. More importantly, I experienced some of the very fears holding me back and was shown a way to step up past them. I thought I had very good eye contact before the workshop but since then, I've reached new levels where a simple look are taking woman bystorm! It's really been intense and I also feel way more centered in life.
John 28, New York

“Imagine All of the New Women You'll Get…”
And imagine all of the time and energy you'll save as you fill your life with women with ease.
You’ll save years of struggle by learning these SAME STRATEGIES that have helped us change the lives of hundreds of men (including our own). We want it to be easier for you. So we’ve honed it down to a few simple and easy-to-use skills that you’ll get in just 1 day.
Remember, most men are not dating the women they want. They are struggling to meet women, find time to go out to expensive bars and clubs and not enjoying life... Why?
It's almost never about their abilities. It is usually because they don't have confidence in their abilities.
During the workshop, we’ll share our proprietary system, the 7 Dynamics Steps To Attract Women By Being Yourself™, and teach you how to become powerfully attractive without compromising your values. By learning these skills you will follow in the footsteps of successful men who have taken this workshop before you. Get ready to ATTRACT MORE WOMEN into your life.

By now you are probably thinking “This sounds great, Robbie and Brian, but how much does it cost?”
I’m curious, how much would it be worth to you to know that you could FILL YOUR LIFE with the women you desire?
Hundreds, Thousands??? How about PRICELESS! HOW WILL YOU FEEL once you are finally that powerfully attractive man?
We've spent tens of thousands of dollars on dating seminars that don’t come close to sharing the ESSENTIAL information you’ll get at this workshop. But we’re not going to charge you thousands of dollars for this 1 Day Intensive.
We aren’t even going to charge you the regular price of $497 for this life changing event.
We’ve got a SPECIAL OFFER for YOU (for a limited time only).

If you act now, we want to give you a FULL SCHOLARSHIP to attend the workshop. These events tend to fill up quickly so please reserve your seat right away. Just to confirm, your attendance is a gift from us.

Yes, it’s true.
This is your FULL SCHOLARSHIP to this 1 Day Intensive.
Now, you are probably wondering "Why on earth would you give me a full scholarship to this 1-Day Intensive that will completely shift my ability to attract women?"
Well, here's the truth: It's a win/win! We are committed to transformation spreading like wildfire into the mainstream consciousness. And we know we can't do it alone. We see you, as a man of utmost integrity and honor as our partner in this mission.

And we WISH this information had been available to us when we were just starting out. We would have saved so much time and stress. We did some things the HARD WAY and we want to save you the trouble.
And, some men who come to our workshop get so inspired by the value they receive that they choose to continue working with us in our more advanced programs. There’s no pressure to continue with us. We have been blessed, though, because enough men continue on with us, that it allows us to continue to offer the Inner Confidence 1 Day Intensive on FULL SCHOLARSHIP. We love this model because the risk is on us. In order to have a thriving business, we have to deliver great content and value at the event.

Isn't it Time You Got on the Fast Track Building Life With Women You Always wanted?
Now, your schedule may be clear and you may be ready to register. Or, you may have to rearrange your schedule to be there. Either way, we have to ask you, “Isn't it worth one day of your life to learn the ESSENTIAL STRATEGIES to having the ability to attract the women you desire?” In only 1 day you will gain what took us years to learn.
ARE YOU READY FOR SUCCESS?
We look forward to seeing you soon.

Let's Wrap This Up

Special Seminar being held in Marina Del Rey, CA. on Sunday, March 1st from 10am to 6pm.

To Your Success,

Robbie Kramer & Brian Begin

TO REGISTER CLICK HERE

Any questions?
Call us:
(714) 329-2535
info@InnerConfidence.com
Inner Confidence, Inc.
4133 Redwood Ave. Suite 4018
Los Angeles, CA 90066
© 2009 Inner Confidence, Inc.

I'm super pumped!

2009-02-11T01:41:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys,

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been running around like crazy getting ready to launch my ebook on Feb 15th. Its called: Dynamic Dating - How to Attract Women In A Natural And Authentic Way. Its a culmination of everything I've learned in my 3 year journey of learning to attract women and according to the critics, its the best book you could ever read. I am the only critic :)

If you want to check it out, Click Here.

and if you want to get the 10 page breakthrough special report mini ebook on the biggest mistakes guys make while trying to improve their situation with women visit:

www.innerconfidence.com

If you have any questions, or you want to tell me that my book sucks a big sweaty nutsack, leave a comment!

How to flirt via email.

2009-01-29T12:20:00.000-08:00

This is an email exchange between me and a super cool girl I picked up at the Beverly center back in the summer of 07. She lived in LA and I lived in San Diego at the time so we saw each other every few weeks. Notice how I use very little logic and keep it fun and sexy. Her email follows mine.

Hey Hot Mama,

Its costing me .65 cents a minute to write you this email, but don't
worry your worth every penny! I dont know if I can write an email as
funny as the one I wrote you from Australia but here it goes...

There once was a girl named _____ who missed this super
hot/funny/charasmatic/wellendowed guy named Robbie sooo much that she
masterbated 15 times a day. But all this did was make her even more
horny so she sent him a naked picture and all her cravings went away.
OK, I dont really know where I was going with that story.

Europe is pretty crazy, I drank Absynth the past 2 nights and it was
NOT good. I got the spins but luckily did not puke. Im in Santorini
right now, well actually just off the coast. I took the tender ferry
to the mainland but then I realized that the actual city is on top of
this cliffs which means you have 1 of 3 options to get there and see
stuff.

1) Take a cable car
2) Ride a donkey
3) walk up the hill

Problems with options 1-3.

1) 1 hour wait
2) i dont ride donkeys
3) i only walk up hills while carrying golf clubs and there were none
to be found. Also, this wasnt really a hill, it was more of a
mountain, the walk would have taken about an hour and it was 95
degrees and 130% humidity.

Solution:

Get back on the ferry and go to the buffet on the ship.

Needless to say, I did not see much of Santorini. But my cousin says
"I made the right choice." My cousin just read all of what Ive
written so far and loves this email. He says that I should send it
out to all my contacts because its a gold medal winner. Athens was
cool, Mykonos was cool too, I got a thumb ring that looks like a bolt,
Ephesus was really cool, with the 2000 year old ruins. And Rhodes was
cool too, lots of old cool shit there as well.

Write me back asap, if any of your coworkers are reading this email
make sure you don't tell them that you love it in the ass. Ohh woops,
they might have seen that.

Try not think about me too much. 23 hours a day is a lot, even for a
multi talented sassy girl like yourself. I miss you, baby.

xoxo
--
~Robbie

Hi hun,
Glad to finally hear from you...good to know you haven't been raped by all those crazy european girls...lol Lets hope I'm worth more then .65 cents a minute, and you definetly did out do yourself with this last email...definetly award winning. You were pretty close with an estimate of 15x daily... I actually just sit at home now, with a huge dildo dressed in lingerie, looking at your myspace pictures ( all i have ) and masterbating 23 hours of the day... Ive actually quit my job and Im now a toy tester for the LA porn industry...its working out great though...the parties are awesome lol. I could only hope you are having as much fun as me in old boring Europe lol. Im only kidding... Im actually very jealous of all the sex you must be having...oh yea and all the historic crap lol. Just wondering, how is that witty charm doing with the girls there? Also...nude beaches??? okay sex is on my mind...can you tell?
FYI...all my employees and my BOSS read your email...i got a lot of questions regarding taking it in my butt because of you...I actually had to explain gory details to Diana...whos never done that...thanx a lot...
Ill work on getting you those nude pix,
I miss you tons babe,
Cant wait to see you ...even with the 3 hour drive...
Cheers,
Your sex slave,
_______

Should you dance in nightclubs? Q&A

2009-01-26T01:53:00.000-08:00

Question

(I had an interesting experience last night, and while I'm willing to set it aside and not dwell on it, first I want to learn the lessons from it. There are some questions I ask along the way, but in the spirit of "swimming in it," there are going to be some things that I've missed. If so, please point them out to me.)

There was an 80s dance party last night, and I decided to go. The idea was to have fun, to dance, and to try staying as present and grounded as I could. I was going to go with a friend, but at the last minute he was unable to join me. I got there about 10, the music was OK, and I started dancing.

At first, while dancing by myself, I felt uncomfortable when I wasn't sure where to look. I wasn't feeling comfortable with scanning the crowd, like some hunter. I solved it by not really looking at anyone. Did it matter?

Dancing, I caught the eye of a cute girl who was dancing too. She posed with me for pictures, and we exchanged a few questions. She asked where I was from, who I was there with. She went to the bar with her friend, but made it a point to ask my name. I told her it; she said she was Dana.

Later I ran into Dana, and she was with a cute friend in a red blouse. Red danced with me too, and I was trying to figure out which I liked better. Red asked me who I was there with, and I had to say again that I was alone. On later reflection I thought that perhaps that was supposed to be a hint that they were interested, but that with two of them they needed another guy. Was that a correct interpretation for a girl asking who you're there with? If so, what do you do if you're alone?

Alone with Dana, she wasn't dancing much any more but smiled at me and told me to dance. That landed with a thud inside me, echoing ideas of a "monkey boy", dancing for her entertainment. I wandered off to dance elsewhere, but could see what was going on. Various things happened, and I can't keep the order straight. There was a point where Red and Dana were talking, and there was a voice in me that was saying that I had to do something, that I had to act, but I couldn't think of anything. Eventually some guys came over to them, talked to them, and they all left. I get the feeling on reflection that by the time you get a panicked "you have to say something" feeling, it's too late. True? Is there something I should have/could have done in that situation?

It was pretty late, and I was constantly thinking about going home. There was a group of girls dancing, and it was clear that their boyfriends were sitting in the nearby booth. There were two blondes and as I danced by, singing along, I caught the attention of one of them. Eventually both went to their boyfriends, apparently got some kind of permission, and started dancing with me. Near the end, George Michael's Faith came on, and the other blonde and I did this long, interpretive-style dance.

Turns out they were in from Connecticut for one of the girl's birthdays and they invited me to tag along in their limo as they went to a different place. I got in, but everyone decided to call it a night since they were tired. I was fine with that.

We had small talk. Both blondes were taken (one boyfriend, one husband). One asked me if I were straight or gay. I said straight. She said that, because I could dance, I'd make some girl very happy one day. They dropped me off at my place.

That comment still is bothering me. The combined parts of not knowing that I'm straight, and that it's a safe assumption to make that I'm single irk me. Is dancing a feminine thing? I've noticed in a lot of dance places that the guys are sitting while their girls dance.

I get this feeling that when it comes to dance places, I'm missing something. Your thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks.

My Answer

There are some great questions in here I've always wanted to address in the past but never really knew exactly what they were. I'm so glad you posted this.

Sounds like you had a really positive learning experience to say the least on this night out. It obviously could have gone better but you did end up interacting with a number of beautiful women, pushed your comfort zone in the face of tension, got a ride home in a limo, etc. Good Job!

So here's the thing about dancing. Its different for men and women. Feminine women love to dance because it makes them feel alive and radiant. Masculine men on the other hand like to dance for different reasons or don't like to dance at all. I personally only like to dance if I'm pretty drunk, and the only dancing I really like is dancing with a woman. Dancing alone is not something that seems fun to me. There are different types of dancing that effect your ability to be grounded. Have you ever seen a native american dance? The women flow and show of for the men while they barely move to the music. Then the women stop and the men start stomping their feet on the ground. Its a very masculine type of dance the men do, it makes them more grounded, centered and present. Now if you are dancing all crazy to 80's music, how grounded and manly do you think you are going to look, especially if you are dancing alone? This is probably why they thought you might be gay. It was a good thing you weren't scanning the crowd like a hunter, women pick up on this and it turns them off completely. When Red asked you if you were alone, she was seeking rapport, so I would take that as a sign she is interested, but its hard to say.

"I get the feeling on reflection that by the time you get a panicked "you have to say something" feeling, it's too late. True? Is there something I should have/could have done in that situation?"

This is a pretty accurate statement. Its really important that you can notice when the energy is about to die in a conversation. I either say something totally random/wierd/funny to boost the energy or go to the bathroom.

The blondes dancing with you was interesting. I'm guessing that they thought you were harmless, as did their boyfriends so they danced with you because you were having fun and wanted to join in. As I said earlier, they felt you were harmless because of the lack of masculine energy you were exuding through your dancing, which isn't really your fault, it was 80's music. I wouldn't worry about looking gay, the only reason they asked is because of your tricky dance moves.

I hope I answered all your questions.

Stinking Thinking

2009-01-07T19:57:00.000-08:00

This is an excerpt from my soon to be released eBook: "Dynamic Dating"

The last hurdle we want to address is what I like to call “Stinking Thinking.” Are you the type of man who resents other men for their success with women. Do you resent beautiful women for rejecting you in the past? Do you resent all women in general for making your life miserable? Do you resent rich people who drive fancy cars and live in mansions? Do you see money as the root of all evil or subscribe to the idea that “Money does not create happiness?” If you answered yes to any of these questions then you have a serious case of Stinking Thinking. When you associate men who are attractive, rich and confident with feelings of resentment you are telling the universe that you do not want to be a person like this. This is a very dangerous declaration because when you do this, you are basically guaranteeing yourself a life of loneliness, scarcity and fear. If you resent women, they will smell it and you will find yourself alone. We have some simple coaching for you. If you are one of these guys, then STOP IT! This Stinking Thinking will undermine your success, so the next time you catch yourself thinking this way, thank your mind for sharing and start thinking powerfully.

"Lets Just Be Friends"

2008-12-31T11:41:00.000-08:00

Hi Rob, Hope your excellent. So I'll start by giving you some background information. I met a girl though some friends one night and ended up with a date with her the next day. We went out for lunch and it was good conversation, I was teasing her a bunch in a playful way and she was all smiles etc. So a few days later I went on another date with her and she came over and we watched a movie and we flirted and made out etc and she ended up sleeping over. We didn't hook up but did fool around. Anyways the morning after I said goodbye to her and we kissed/hugged some more and she left and it was all great.

The following two weeks I had final exams so I couldn't see her, so I would call her every 3 days to talk on the phone to try and keep some momentum cause after exams finished I wanted to date this girl. Shes a quality girl who's genuine, fun, emotionally mature and is going somewhere in life.

Aside from that she just got out of a 3 year long relationship with a guy. When I met her, it was a month after breaking up with him. She is 19 and I am 22. So anyways, near the end of finals week, I found out that she is dating someone(not her old bf) and at first i was a little sad but remembered not to get one-i-tus and just go meet more women so the following few days I went out sarging and ended up meeting a few more physically attractive women but the thing is, they would all have problems that I felt made them not girl friend material. Like they did drugs or weren't going anywhere in life (like not going to school or have a plan etc). So after after a few days I was like Forget this crap I still want that chick.

So I call her up and we go to Starbucks today and at first I wanted to her come to my house but she insisted on Starbucks and said we can talk there first. So I had this gut feeling that I was gonna get the lets just be friends thing because I know she just started seeing a guy so I re watched your thing on you tube with how to handle that.

So I watched and understood it because I still wanted to say what I would be feeling at the moment and not just recite lines to her and so yeah I go to Starbucks. We start talking and I get her laughing again and its good conversation as usual and eventually after half an hour it goes to talking about where we are at. Cause I know she has feelings for me, she even told me she did but she is seeing this guy and shes confused etc. So here it came, she asked if I wanted to still be friends and I told her it its complicated...like yes and no...like I like you and I want you in my life...but..It wouldn't be fair to you or to me because I know I would secretly be wanting to have you as my girl.and so then she told me she didn't know what to say, so I kept looking her in the eyes and told her what I thought about her. I told her I thought she was a quality girl, I told her I like being around her, I like the way she smiles, I told her she was special. I told her I felt like she brings the best out in me when shes around and I like her. And she smiled and she told me well I think your a great guy too, in fact your one of the coolest guys I know, and I want you to be happy..I never meant for things to happen like this..like I still want to see u still but if its gonna make you feel bad because I'm seeing someone when we hangout then I don't want you to be unhappy.

So eventually after going back n forth with trying to understand each other it basically came to, she still wants me in her life and I want that too and I let her know that I still want to hangout with her, and if she ever breaks up with this new guy, I don't want to be in the friend zone. I told her "Cause I know theres something there between us, and she agreed" So yeah that was about it. So my game plan is to call her in the next few days because I said I would and we might go hangout for a bit and yeah, I plan on going out and meeting more girls and continue on with life and at the same time still hangout with her.

Anyways Rob, I strongly felt like you should be the guy I tell this too, cause I have a lot of respect for what you say about these things and I wanted your advice and opinion on the whole thing. Thanks, I appreciate it.

Hey Xeo,

Thanks for the detailed report. There is a lot going on here that I want to touch on.

Overall, I think you handled the situation very well. I want to touch on something a little bit in the "out there" category because I think it played a major role in what happened. Notice how all of your actions, the energy you put out there and your thoughts were all within the context of the question you were asking yourself: "How can I keep this girl and make her my girlfriend?" Or something similar to this. When you do that, you are operating inside of an agenda. Have you ever noticed when someone seems to have an agenda while interacting with you? A pushy salesman is a great example, there is just something off about the whole interaction and you often feel pressured. My gut feeling from reading your post is that this is the reason she pulled away and put you in the friends zone. The same thing happened with my last girlfriend Jamie as you witnessed in the video on youtube. There was nothing I specifically said or obviously did to tell her that I wanted to make her my girlfriend but she could feel the energy I was giving off. Women are way more in touch with their feelings and emotions and can read these subtle shifts in energy much better then men. Most are completely unconscious and have no idea that they are capable of this but they can feel when something "Just doesn't feel right."

The lesson to learn from this is to slow down the next time you meet a girl that knocks your socks off. Even if you are crazy about her, take your time, don't call her every 3 days to keep her interested. What you really need to do is grounding exercises. When you feel that needyness, that desire to see her, to know what she's doing, to find out if shes interested or how interested, feel those emotions and ground into them. Are they feelings of anxiety, nervousness, tension? Think of them not as negative things, but as fuel and shoot them into the ground through your legs. Feel your legs and imagine you have roots growing out of your feet into the ground, like a tree and feel you power as a man. If you do this correctly, you may feel a little dizzy or the room might get blurry. Try to get into this state the next time you are about to approach a woman. When you feel that tension, keep sending it into the ground through your body rather then releasing it from your head through nervous ticks, movements and jitters. I know this may be a little confusing because you won't really get what grounding is until you experience it but I hope you get the idea. Instead of the frame I mentioned above try on a new one like "I am an attractive man that chooses when I want to be in a relationship."

Here's a story for you. A married couple that my parents are friends with have a great relationship and they once told me how they got together. They lived in the same building in college and he took her on a date. Things went great and as the night was winding down they were riding in the elevator full of people. When he got off on his floor he turned around looked at and said "I cant believe you are fucking pregnant" right as the door shut! She was then stuck in the elevator full of strangers, feeling super awkward. LOL!!! She didn't hear from him for 2 months until one night he came barging into her apartment with a friend. She was having some people over and was with a date herself, sitting and talking with her date on the couch. He came over and plopped himself on the couch right between her and her date and just started gabbing away. They were married a few months later.

Moral of the story: Don't have an agenda. Later on, he told me that he was dating a lot but knew his wife was something special after the first date. But he didn't get needy and try to reel her in. He knew that it would all work out and it did, on his terms when he was ready. Like I said, its all about the energy you put out there.

Im not gonna tell you to do anything specific if this happens again because every situation is different and that will only lead to another agenda based interaction. If you want this girl then I would suggest you move on. Give her the gift of missing you, but dont be a dick. Just focus your energy on other women because if you keep chasing her, she will get less and less attracted. You never know what will happen, she liked you once, there is a good chance she may like you again.

Hope that helps, let me know if you have any questions.

Grounding

2008-12-24T11:03:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard a woman say "I just want a guy that is grounded?" If you have, then that is a woman that knows what she is talking about. Recently, I've been doing a ton of work on grounding with my students and on myself. The changes I've seen have been incredible in a very short amount of time.

Yesterday I was with a client at 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica. I didn't tell him why I was taking him there but he assumed that I was going to make him do approaches and he was incredibly nervous. He couldn't eat because he was so anxious about what I was going to make him do. Sending a guy like this to approach women is pretty much a complete waste of time. Chances are, he is going to start awkward conversations due to his nervousness and get rejected time after time. This will hurt his self esteem and make him even more scared or even worse, numb to the whole experience. If you are reading this and you identify with a guy like this then this is for you. STOP mindlessly approaching women to get over your approach anxiety. You need to start grounding!

So what is grounding? Here is my brilliant definition: Grounding is being connected to the ground! LOL wasn't that profound?!

But here is the magic. To connect to the ground, you must be in your body. As you are reading this, can you feel the ground with your feet? Take a deep breath and breath the air all the way through your body, all the way down to your feet and feel the Earth's support below you. The more grounded you can be in tense situations, like meeting women, the less nervous you will become. When you get nervous, take a deep breath and picture all that nervous energy shooting through your legs into the ground. I know, this may sound super cheeseballish and weird, but it works, TRUST ME!!! Look at a guy in uniform, is he grounded? He is like a rock, and women can trust him. How about a computer geek, how grounded is he? If you want a great exercise, go out to a shopping mall or somewhere there are lots of people. Watch people and notice how grounded they are. How are they moving? Are they jittery? Are they graceful? Are they masculine, feminine? Notice the couples and especially the guys with beautiful women. Notice how they move, and how they lead. You will notice that they may not be good looking, but they have a certain way about them. I bet they aren't scared of confrontation. If you want more exercises or a free dating consultation, drop me an email at robbie@innerconfidence.com and we'll talk.

You Are A Creepy Weirdo!

2008-12-14T20:44:00.000-08:00

Are you worried about being a creepy guy or creeping girls out? If you are, then stop it! The more you worry about being creepy, the worse you will get with women. When you are worried about this, you will stop yourself from leaning into your comfort zone and you will not grow. In order to improve, you must push your comfort zone. When you are worried about being creepy or calibrating, you stifle yourself from taking action and you just get more in your head.

Lets take a worst case scenario. When you go balls to the wall and decide to not give a fuck about being creepy, you might creep some women out but who cares? It doesn't mean anything about you and at least you are learning your limits, what works and what doesn't. I took some workshops way back in the day that really focused on calibration, being socially acceptable and avoiding creeping girls out. It made me way worse because I stopped taking risks. When you stop taking risks, you stop growing. So hopefully I have beaten you over the head with this by now but just in case, STOP worrying about how you look, and STOP worrying about creeping girls out. In fact I would even recommend going out to intentionally be awkward and creep people out just to get over your embarrassment. It can be really fun, especially if you have a friend to support you who is fun. I have a buddy named Ben who loves to just go out and say/do funny shit. He doesn't care what people think of him and he always has fun, and he gets tons of women. What might creep one girl out, might make another extremely hot for you. Just go for it.

F*ck Me Eyes

2008-12-07T20:54:00.000-08:00

Here is a great story posted on the Inner Confidence Forums:

Recently I met my old friend luis, who is a famous soccer agent in Brazil, he was the one who brought Adriano to inter milan, and sent him back to Brazil. He is also a pretty good friend with Christiano Ronaldo, probably the Mr. Futbol of 2008.

We spent an afternoon in Denver just catching up with each other and our conversation went to pickup and seduction. He told me a story of Ronaldo when they met in LA last year..

Ronaldo is a well known womanizer in Europa thanks to his fame, but he isn't about pickup, cuz he does occasionally spend 2000 Pounds to sleep with some hookers, nevertheless, he is good with women..

Luis told me that when Ronaldo went to LA for his knee surgury, he spent a week in hollywood trying to pickup American girls. What he does is that he'd go to the beach, and just lay on the sand with his sunglasses on and do nothing... He knows he is not well known in America like David Beckham, so he didn't wanna approach. But every time he saw girl that he wanna sleep with, he would take off his sunglasses and look at her trying to catch her eyes. When that does happen, he would give her a naughty smirk and a quiet blink. According to Luis, all South American men are good at this.. For Ronaldo, since he's been doing it since 14, when he did it in LA, 5 out of 6 girls would turn back and approach him..

Even though Ronaldo plays for Man Utd, but his English sucks. So he would try to speak English, but then he would whisper at girls in Portugese, if she hasn't been melt, then she would, because according to all the chicks, his Portugese sounds so sexy.. Just by doing that, He was able to get 7 different girls on 7 different days in the row, only after sex, the girls would find out that he play pretty good soccer in England. One girl did say to him that she liked Fernando Torres, Ronaldo just roll his eyes and still fucked her..

I told Luis that what I learned from PU was that u have to kino and escalate. He was laughting like hell and said that maybe only Americans need to do that. According to him, Americans are very sexually depressed, and even touching a girls fingertip means a lot to them, that's why they need to Kino.. But in South AMerica, everybody touches each other on daily basis, so kino doesn't mean anything. But what does mean a lot is how to look at a woman, the eye contact, it can touch a girl without physically touching her.

All Brazilian players pretty much use the same approach and they would get hooked up left and right in Europa no matter how white, dark they are, famous or not, it doesn't matter..

Luis showed me how he used to check out girls too. According to him, it's kinda like giving her a signal that others don't know what it is, only she knows. Kinda like when you wanna have sex with your girlfriend, u just give her that type of look, and she will understand.

After all, these guys are soccer stars anyways, they like to play balls...

FEARING/RESISTING THE FEAR

2008-12-06T00:26:00.000-08:00

Hear is a great reframe I want to share with you. I learned this in the IL Program of Landmark and its been a great tool ever since.

Lets look at fear. What is fear? Fear is defined as a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

The number one thing men fear is failure. What is the big deal about failure? Well, when you do something and fail to succeed, you always tell yourself the same thing afteward. “I failed” or “I am a failure.” Lets really look at this language. The word “I” implies yourself and you are a human being. So what your are really saying when you say “I failed,” is the “I” that is myself failed as a human being. In order to fail as a human being you must cease to be. Therefore, the only real way you can fail as a human being is to die.

So lets say your goal for the night was to go out and get five phone numbers from beautiful women. When the night ends, you end up with zero and you tell yourself, I am a failure with women! This is crazy!!!!! You didn’t fail, you simply had a breakdown in performance. You failed to perform the necessary tasks that it took to get 5 phone numbers. If you simply shift your context from “I failed” to “I had a breakdown in performance,” you will see massive results in a short period of time because you are taking fear out of the equation.

If I am your coach, and I asked why you didn’t get 5 phone numbers and you told me “I only talked to 3 women.” I am going to ask you if you are crazy. So rather then beating yourself up and calling yourself a failure, all you need to do is chance your actions so that next time, you will be more likely to fulfill on your intended outcome. Now that you are not afraid of failing, because it doesn’t exist, what is there to fear? Simply take the actions inline with your desired outcome and analyze your results. If they aren't up to par, change the actions. Simple huh?

Mass Texts SUCK 2008!!!

2008-11-27T15:38:00.001-08:00

What is the deal with mass text messages on holidays?!?! How much satisfaction can you get out of sending everyone in your address book the same exact message? I've never really had the urge to send out a mass text, but I can imagine you would send one out for 1 of 3 reason.

1. You are a genuinly good person and you want to spread the joy of the holidays with you friends.
2. You secretly desire attention and you want to send all of your friends a message to gain popularity and feel good about yourself by receiving a bunch of return messages usually consisting of "You too! thanks."
3. You are a fat hump.

note: reasons 2 and 3 are not mutually exclusive, which means, if you are 2 then you are also 3 and if you are 3 you are also 2.

For all you FAT HUMPS out there who sent mass texts to everyone in your phone wishing them a Happy Thanksgiving, I just want to say, you are not as clever as you think you are. There is nothing nice about a generic text message, you might as well just say: "Happy thanksgiving, if you were special, I would send you a personalized text, but your not, so go fuck yourself." Here are some examples of the texts I recieved yesterday.

1. Happy Turkeyday! ;)
2. Happy day of thanks :)
3. Hey all! Happy I never want to eat turkey again day!
4. Happy thanksgiving. man! Best wishes!
5. Happy thanksgiving
6. Happy thanksgiving

And my personal favorite:
7. Happy thanksgiving! So grateful that I have a friend like you! -friend x

Lets take a closer look at #7. An unwise texter might read this text and be very overjoyed to recieve such a wonderful compliment. But if you examine it, it is obvious that my friend x sent this out to her entire address book. If she was really so grateful, she would have sent me a personalized text.

Number 4 is also kinda tricky. "Happy thanksgiving. man! Best wishes." The key to this one is to focus on the "man." I'm fairly certain this person sent this text to all the guys in his phone and had a different text for all the ladies. Nice try buddy, but you can't fool me.

What would incline someone to send these mass text. Maybe these people are really nice, but I think they are just attention whores who were bored with their families and wanted some casual text fun. If you are reading this and you fall into the category of "culprit" it doesn't mean that I don't like you anymore, it just means that you are a fat hump, and I'll probably forgive you, unless you send me a generic apology.

~Robbie

Eye Contact

2008-11-26T22:45:00.000-08:00

This was posted on the Inner Confidence Forums by a workshop graduate. I posted it here because I found it very interesting and a great sign of progress.

Okay this was pretty interesting... every morning on my way to work I practice a mix of the "being in our body" grounding work we learned, eye contact, and smiling. Its been working well I think, I have gotten a lot of warm smiles in return but I need to take it up a notch and go say hi after that now.

So I was walking to work the other day but this time I was day dreaming. My body was on autopilot doing its own thing like dodging crazy cab drivers but my attention was totally focused inward in whatever little fantasy thing I was playing out that moment. It really felt like I was looking inward on my own imagination, I dont know I never actually had to explain this before.

So I am walking and super cute girl is walking my way from the other direction, I kind of snapped out of my little fantasy zone and made eye contact with her a few steps away -- I could really feel the intensity of it. She actually turned her body towards me, walked two steps and stuttered out a a meek little "hi" before... I don't know what, I was so shocked by the unexpectedness of it that it took me a few moments to let it all sink in. I turned around and by then she was gone but I ran after her trying to catch up with her anyway.

So here's my question... I did something really really right and I want to be able to do it again. I think the trick of it was focusing inward and letting that build up first before making eye contact.?

Thanks guys and happy thanksgiving to everyone.

How Long Have You Been Struggling?

2008-11-21T11:53:00.000-08:00

How long have you been trying to get good with women? Days, weeks, months, years, decades, a lifetime??? Well, why aren't you good yet? Are you a keyboard jockey? Are you the guy that gives lots of great advice but never takes his own? Are you kinda comfortable with your current situation and hoping it gets better? Well I'm about to say something that might frustrate, confuse, and anger you.

You don't want to be good with women!

I know this because you aren't any good. If you really wanted to be good, you would be good already. Here is the problem, you don't really want it. You may tell yourself that you want it, but lets take a look at what you have been doing.

Have you been taking the actions in line with your goal? Very simple, yes or no? No stories, no justification, no buts, what ifs, what have yous, and no circumstances.

I'm not say any of this stuff to make you mad or to call you out, I'm saying it because I want you to get this...

I always know what people want in their lives, I just look at what they have. You are a lot more powerful then you realize, and if you focused your efforts on the results you say you want, you will have them. Are you tracking your progress, are you really looking at where you may be struggling, or where you may need some coaching. Lets say you want to learn how to play golf and you wanted to get really good, like PGA Tour good. Would you go the driving range everyday and unconsciously hit drivers until you were dead tired? Or would you get a golf coach to tell you what is wrong with your swing and give you the necessary information, exercises and drills to improve? Well, learning to be good with women is no different. If you go out to bars all the time expecting to get better, and never get any coaching, you probably won't improve. Maybe you ask your friends that are just as bad as you, they give you pointers and that doesn't work either.

Here is my coaching:

If you really want to get good with women, then first get straight with yourself. Are you taking the steps and actions to fulfill on your goal? If not, change something, and do it now. If you don't know what to change, then ask for help. I am gonna make you a special offer because I have some free time this next week. I am offering five free 30 minute strategy sessions to help you get to the next level. If you want to take advantage, send me an email with the times you are available to robbie@innerconfidence.com

Excerpt From our soon to be released ebook.

2008-11-20T15:21:00.000-08:00

The Little Voice

Are you into self-help? Are you a self-proclaimed expert? Do you often notice you hear a lot of the same things? Then this will help you. Read on...

There is one thing that could get in the way of you getting everything we have to share with you. It’s called the little voice in your head. Its that cynical and resigned voice in your head that left to its own devices, will sabotage your greatest efforts. If you don’t know what we are talking about or you don’t think you have a little voice, stop reading for 10 seconds and sit quietly. Did you hear it? If not, It may be the little voice that says ‘What little voice, I don’t have a little voice.” Yeah, that one!

This voice can say all types of things but perhaps the most dangerous thing it says are these four words. “I already know that.” Because as soon as you say, “I already knew that,” you are closing yourself off from further learning. Much of what we’ll share in this program is really intuitive and it can seem really simple, but often the simplest things are the most powerful. So let’s say you have heard some of the concepts we present to you. But what if you have grown since the last time you’ve heard it and you hear it in a totally different context. Maybe there is one little difference in the way we say it that adds a whole new dimension to how you implement it or a brand new insight that shifts your reality. You rob yourself of that growth when you let the little voice take over. I’ll tell you personally, I’ve been to TONS of workshops and listened to hours of self-help audio sets. Luckily for me, one of the first seminars I attended informed me of this little voice and it has really allowed me to grow quickly and take in all the information without judging, assessing or categorizing into the things I already know. After a while its easy to fall into the trap of being a self-proclaimed expert. I would catch myself forgetting about the little voice and listening to it like it was the truth. I would be reading something or listening to someone and I would tell myself “I already know this.” and would completely zone out and get bored. This gave me two big ego boosting benefits, first I got to be better then all the other students and even the instructor and second, I got to avoid being vulnerable. But the cost of doing this was I missed out on some amazing breakthroughs and really slowed down my learning curve. I adopted the attitude that even if 99.9% of what someone was teaching was review; I listened to the .1% that could totally change my life. All of sudden, I stopped getting bored and I started having so much more fun and the insights came rushing in. And that was precisely the time when things began to change for me very quickly. Instead of sitting on my ass, thinking I knew everything, I began implementing what I had learned immediately and my success with women went through the roof!

And this is what we want for you too, so when that smart little voice comes in and starts jibber jabbering, ask yourself in a smarter voice: “I may know that, but am I doing it?” And lets say you are doing it, could you be doing it even more effectively? It only takes one little change to skyrocket your results.

So are you willing to take your expert hat off? And are you willing to be a life long learner? As a self-proclaimed life long learner, you’re poised for massive success.

Masturbation & Porn Q&A

2008-11-18T15:07:00.000-08:00

This is a Q&A thread from the Inner Confidence Forums. If one person asks a question, it usually means that 10 others have the same question so if this applies to you, great! If not, you will probably get a kick out of it. His questions are in italics and my responses follow...

Hey man

The last time I had sex was 4 years ago, and it seems to be for too long, and I feel like I am losing the sexiual side of me..

I never masturbated my whole life and i was never really into porns... When I tried to masturbate, it didn't work. I watched some porns online and try to do it, but still I just didn't feel it..

Hristiyan recommended me to do it with presence but I can't even do it at all. So do you think it is the problem of me for not being sexual?

I didn't like porns and masturbation because I thought that was preverted, and I used to hang out with pervs who were really creepy around girls, so that further confirmed my theory of not doing it. But now I realized that it might be one of the thing that hurt my attractiveness and confidence around women..

But I am just not able to masturbate whenever I want. I do feel horny sometimes, but always when I am not prepared to masturbate. When I do try to do so, I just can't do it...

The key is not to blow your load, watch porn or fuck hookers, the key is being able to express your sexuality. So whatever works for you that will allow you to open up sexually is fine. You only become addicted to something when you use it to make you happy. I watch porn and jerk off to it every now and then, but im not addicted to it, and I'm getting laid all the time, its just something I enjoy.

So what do you think?? Should I train myself to be able to masturbate whenever I want? What's the fine line between being a sexual pervert and sexual guy?

Please help, Thanks!

Good question. This is a very interesting topic. Here is my take on it. It seems that you relate to masturbation and sexuality as a bad thing. This probably got ingrained in you during your childhood at some point. The difference between being a pervert and sexual guy is very simple, the only difference, is that a pervert tries to cover up his sexuality and a sexual guy is open about it. I am really sexual and I'm constantly making sexual innuendos, dirty jokes, sexual language and no one ever calls me a pervert. In fact, I often make fun of myself and call myself a dirty pervert as a joke. But if you try to suppress your sexuality and hide it, it will come through anyway and people will feel icky around you.

My advice would be to start masturbating, use porn if you want, if you dont need it, thats better and allow yourself to really enjoy your own body. There is nothing bad or wrong about that, its just a bunch of bullshit society has told you. The more you can open up sexually, the more attractive you become to women.

Wouldn't it make you addictive to it? I know people who are so into it that they spend a lot of $$$ on porns yet still can't meet girls in real world...

Also, what about getting hookers in this case then, wouldn't it work even better than just masturbating in enhancing one's sexuality?

Please advice...

So whatever works for you that will allow you to open up sexually is fine. You only become addicted to something when you use it to make you happy. I watch porn and jerk off to it every now and then, but im not addicted to it, its just something I enjoy.

Sooo... Jacking off or banging hookers without ejaculating.... Is it neccessary? It seems that the whole purpose of all these activities is to make you cum..

So are you saying that I should just masturbate to a point when I eract and then quit instead of cumming?

Does masturbating this way will improve one's sexuality and not turn into a perv?

I am a little confused here and please help...

No, you misunderstood what I was trying to say about "the key is to not blow your load." I meant, the point of masturbating and banging hookers if you are doing it for personal growth is to enhance your sexuality, it doesn't matter if you ejaculate or not. You could get the same intended result by rollerblading down the beach in a thong bikini, you are simply getting comfortable being sexual. You are reading into this alot, its very simple, there is nothing bad about sex, masturbating, hookers, etc. its only the bullshit society made up. If you are doing any practice for growth, you will be fine.

Hey man!!!

U know what, I just did it this morning successfully without the help of any porns. Wow... I was just laying in bed and imagining making love with my type of chick and I kept rubbing myself down there, and finally about 25 mins into the process, it happened.

I was probably holding back a little bit too because I didn't wanna web my sheet so you know. But it felt extraordinary. Now thinking about it afterwards, I felt like i lost 20 lbs down there and, I felt light but a little bit exhausted too between my legs. It's the feelings you have when you overdo your exercise sets, yea, feels a little bit shaky down there. Man, hard to describe man.. I also felt that my cock is getting bigger at normal state when before. (Is it true that jerking off often can make it bigger than not?)

Before I felt maybe something was wrong with me because I never got turned on watching porns like most guys would. I thought about going to sex therapists. Now I realize that's just who i am. I find most of the porns out there disgusting to watch, but I am very into love-making scenes from the movies... That's why throughout my history, I just can't fuck without making love first...

Hey Robbie, maybe you should create a session for this topic, like what's the right way to train and to masturbate u know.. I have done it first time in my life, so I haven't gone the wrong way yet. But I can see how addictive it can be if done with the wrong mindset. So we need your education right here..

Ohh man, now I also notice something.. I am getting hungry a lot faster after jerking off than not.. Gotta go grab a bit somewhere now..

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER :) LOL!

If you would like to register for the Forum, click on the link at the top right where it says FORUM.

"Women Are Like Golf"

2008-11-15T14:13:00.000-08:00

Here is an excerpt from my friend, Kara Oh, a female dating coach with a ton of great resources for men and women. This was taken from her book "Women Made Easy."

“Here’s some tricky stuff. Do you think you’re a good lover?”

Sam squirmed and said, “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

“How did you learn to make love to a woman? Bits of information here and
there?”

Sam nodded, realizing there was probably a lot more to learn on this subject, too.

“I don’t think most men are very good lovers. Most men are happy with the snack
bar at the turn. A quick sandwich and off to the tenth hole. Like the microwave.
Zap! And it’s done. Or the big drive and no short game, no finesse.

“With women, you need to use the oven. Look at any recipe and it says, ‘pre-heat
oven.’ This is not snack bar time. It’s gourmet cooking.

“Romance is the key. Guys think romance is getting her ready for sex. That’s
absolutely wrong. Romance is something you do all the time to keep her in the
mood to being open to having sex. It’s getting her in the mood to get into the
mood. When you quit doing the romantic stuff, which almost always happens
once things settle down and become comfortable, she begins to shut down and then you wonder why she thinks you’re pawing her when you want to make love.

“Romance is like a door. It stays open if you do those little thoughtful things all
the time. The longer you go without doing those things that make her feel special,
the more likely she’s not only going to shut the door, she’s likely to lock it.
Remember those club dues? Romance is like paying those club dues. If you go
long enough without paying, they’re not going to let you play there any more.”

“Romance, huh? It’s not natural for me to think about that kind of stuff, but it does
make sense. Puts a whole new spin on things.” Sam stared at nothing in
particular, lost in his thoughts.

“Now men get blamed for being dogs and having affairs. It’s often because the
door is closed. But why is the door closed? Maybe it’s closed because you both
got busy with life, kids, jobs, laundry and yard work. But maybe, just maybe, the
door is closed because you’re not such a great lover. Men assume they are
because they can get it up. Well, believe me, there’s a whole lot more to it than
that. If you’re used to the microwave style of lovemaking, she’s not even ready
and you’re done. She needs the oven. She needs to be pre-heated.

“What goes on with new love? Lots of kisses, caressing her entire body, nibbles
everywhere. That’s the warm-up time she needs. You did a lot of that because
you were so excited about exploring her body. But with time, the newness wore
off and you quit making her feel special, sexy, desirable, and womanly. She
needs that more than you can imagine.

“Ask her what she likes. Every woman is different but most are not comfortable
communicating their specific needs and desires. Maybe something that worked
great with your last girlfriend turns this one off. Pay attention. Be alert. Listen and
learn. It’s like reading the green. You don’t hit every putt the same. Some greens
are uphill, some downhill, some have a lot of break and some so little that you
almost can’t tell. You want to get on the green, don’t you? Your approach shot
has to be just right, and what about your chipping? Do you really practice your
short game? Or are you like all the other guys, just drive, drive, drive the ball as
hard as you can?

“Making love to a woman is the reverse of how you shoot each hole. Start with
the putt, gently, with care and tenderness, then go out from there, using the right
club at the right time. Then you can finish with the big tee shot.”

Online Dating

2008-10-28T00:14:00.000-07:00

Ive recently been dabbling in some online dating. I had never tried it before because I always thought it wasn't real and all that shit but I decided to give the old JDate a shot, being that I am Jewish. Now, I am by no means an online dating expert, if you want the best advice, get the ebook Window Shopping For Women. Here is the link:

Window Shopping for Women

But its basically a lot of fun, and i've found that you can learn a lot about push/pull and channeling your energy, (yeah I know, weird) So call me crazy, but when I shifted my attitude from chasing girls to letting them chase me, the weirdest thing happened. I started getting messages from cute girls, which is very rare on an online dating site, REALLY RARE!!!! This is the only reason I attribute this too. Now, the most important thing is the opening message. If you aren't creative, and you don't stand out in the opening message, you have absolutely no shot, unless you look as good or better then Brad Pitt. Beautiful women get tons of emails everyday, so the typical "Hey, what's up?" has about a .00000000001% chance of getting a response. You literally have a better chance at succeeding by sending a message like "Yo What's up Bitch?" because that will at least make you stand out from the crowd of other worthless hump dudes. I've found that having a meaningful conversation online is pretty much impossible, so keep it light, simple and fun. Roll playing works great online, use it, for info on that see my old post about banter. Here it is...

Banter Compilation

I have been on some great dates from girls Ive met online so far, ironically, the coolest girl i've met off JDate is a non-jew, haha go figure. Here is the biggest mistake you can make, LYEING! Don't do it, you will get caught, and it doesn't really give you any advantage. Don't make yourself look way hotter on your profile then in person or she will be dissapointed and you will have wasted a lot of time. Don't misrepresent yourself in anyway for that matter, you may think it will land you a better girl, but it won't, women are wayyyy more intuitive then men and they will sniff out your BS from a mile away. Also, don't have an agenda. It is inauthentic and will not make you happy. If you do meet up with a girl on a date, don't try to sleep with her just because she is hot. I was a little bit torn on this one thing. I was trying to decide if it was shady to use the same opening message on different girls. I decided that trying to come up with clever messages for every new girl is a massive waste of time, half don't ever open your emails. The whole point of the initial conversation is to get your foot in the door and see if you are a potential match, when you are on the date, just be yourself and it will all work out. For more info on this, feel free to email me.

Crappiest Date Ever

2008-10-07T10:27:00.000-07:00

So here's a funny one. I met this girl, she was cute but our initial interaction was pretty surface level. Lots of banter, light conversation, she was Jewish so we kinda connected about that, but something seemed a little off and I couldn't put my finger on it.

So I decided to go out on a date with her. I wanted to go to this crappy little sushi place, cheap, fun, no big deal, so we walked over there but there were two sushi places right next to each other. I didn't realize this at the time and we walked into the wrong place, a sushi lounge. It looked really expensive and the energy was more serious. I should have left, I just wasn't feeling the place but the little voice in my head says "don't leave it would look weird." So we sit down at the sushi bar and I tell her I had a confession for her. You see, the first time we met, I didn't really tell her I was a dating coach, I said that I coached shy people on how to be more outgoing, but that was kinda a withhold of information because I was worried that she would think that being a dating coach was weird. In hindsight, that was retarded, and here is why. So I tell her how I actually coach guys on how to move past their insecurities with women, strip away all the bullshit tactics, routines, tricks and gimmicks that keep them in their head and stop them from being present and how to meet and date the women of their dreams. Her response was "I don't think people need that stuff, they should figure it out on their own." Then she started asking me a bunch of questions about it and I started talking about the Landmark Forum. I shared with her that I got a whole new relationship with my mom out of it and how it was really great and asked her a simple question... "Is there any area of your life that you are resigned about, like you wish you had something but you don't think it is possible." Her response, was flat and I could tell she had no interest in anything relating to personal growth and was skeptical about the whole thing. At this point, the date was over, she completely closed off emotionally and I was no longer attracted to her personality. We finished dinner walked back and she went home.

I'm not saying there was anything wrong with this girl, she simply wasn't into personal growth. Why did she get so turned off by the conversation? Most people shut down in these situations because they feel very vulnerable, she probably thought I was able to see her insecurities and she had no interest in dealing with any of them or really dealing with anything in her life. Its scary to people to be around psychologists or coaches if they feel they are hiding something or they feel judged. Maybe this was the case with her or maybe I just had bugger hanging out of my nose.

What I do know is this, I should have been straight with her from the beginning about what I do and what I am committed too. I have zero interest in dating someone that isn't completely fascinated with personal growth and helping others, but for some reason I didn't qualify her when we met and figure that out. Next time, I know better.

After the date, I felt rejected and I was beating myself up over what I did wrong. But that was weird, because I didn't even like her, but I did want to fuck her. Now, why would I want to fuck someone just because they are cute? That is just my ego and need for validation talking. I talked to Brian about it and he really nailed it. He told me I was feeling upset not because I didn't fuck her, but because I gave my power away and collapsed into being the nice guy. At the end of dinner, she said "I dont think im gonna make it to the next stop, I'm really tired." I wanted to say right then. "You don't have to pretend, its obvious that this is going nowhere." But instead, I was just like, ok seeya later. And she was like, "talk to you soon." more obvious bullshit. If I was really embodying the masculine in that moment, I would have said what I wanted to say, not to reject her or save my ego but to be straight in my communication and fully self expressed. And that is what made me upset afterwards. Once I saw that, thanks to Brian I allowed myself to experience the emotions around it and move through it.

Moral of the story, don't be afraid to be picky and weed out women that are not a match for you even if they are hot. Be direct, you are only hurting yourself in the long run by trying to be nice to avoid making others feel bad.

Get in your body!

2008-10-01T13:55:00.000-07:00

How do you connect with women?

Do you think of the right thing to say? Do you find commonalities? Do you ask her who lies more, men or women? Do you tell her a deep rapport story? Do you run the cube on her? Do you try to do it right? Do you think about what to say? Do you try to be funny? Do you ask a lot of questions?

If you do any of these, you have probably noticed that something seems a bit off. Everyone has experienced the type of conversations where the room kinda fades away and its just you and that woman, and nothing else matters. It seems really easy, but why is hard when you are trying to get it right?

Ready for the answer...

Cuz you are trying to use your brian to connect with her. Women (the feminine) are naturally in their body rather then their mind. They are intuitive while most men are rational. So using ration, reason and logic to connect to someone who doesn't give a shit about ration, reason and logic is completely idiotic, logically speaking, RIGHT?

Here is how to connect with people, just STOP! STOP doing whatever you are doing, its not working. You might be asking... then what do I do? Here is the answer, NOTHING, just be present. How do you be present? You get in your body. How do you get in your body? You practice doing things physically rather then mentally. Focus on your breathing, exercise, wrestle, do pushups, put yourself in tense environment that get your heart beating, meditate, whatever you wanna do. Try doing something really physical before you go out to meet women or go on a date and notice the difference.

I stink!

2008-09-29T17:20:00.001-07:00

I just got back from a 5 day workshop in the woods. No running water, no fire, no toilets, no electricity. I guess you could say I was out of my element considering I LIVE IN A HOTEL!! HAHA

The point of the workshop was to bring out your masculine core, while making you a more present and conscious man. The workshop was lead by Hristyan, a former PU101 and LVO3 coach, myself, my partner, Brian Begin, a former Marine and now a US Marshall, Rick, and Jeff Pro. I'll spare you the boring details and get into the good stuff.

If you really want to learn how to turn on women, stop reading ebooks, learning lines, routines, magic tricks, gimmicks, openers, NLP, etc. and spend 30-90 days in the fucking woods. After spending only 5, it has had a major effect on me.

The first day, we decided it would be a good idea to hike up a mountain that did not have a trail. The result was about a 1.5 hour hike straight up the face of a mountain through bushes, brambles, rocks and loose dirt. We all made it to the top, I had about 7 cuts and a gash in my hand, and a ripped shirt. Have you ever heard the term "how you do anything is how you do everything?" here is the lesson. After about 20 minutes, we could not find a trail and all we could see ahead of us was bushes over 8 feet high, I wanted to quit at this point but once we got going I was determined to make it to the top for no other reason other then the challenge and for the hell of it. I realized that this is how I am everywhere in life. It takes quite a bit to get me going and once I see it is hard I usually want to quit, but if I just get some momentum I always excel and finish the job.

The other days we did an exercise called circling. The basic gist is one man stand in front of a semi-circle of 8-15 guys. The guys act as a mirror and tell the man in front how his presence is impacting them. For example, the last man to go was a very shy, very sweet, easy going and like-able guy. He was the perfect example of a nice guy, and after a while, the group got very angry. We wanted to feel his heart, his passion, rage, anger, happiness, ANYTHING, but all we got from him was careful speaking and a half smile. He was basically emotionless. This is one of the most unattractive characteristics to a woman. Women want to feel your emotions and they want to know they can trust you with theirs. This is why the nice guy is not attractive to women, he cannot be trusted, he cannot turn them on, and he can't get them excited. WHY? Because is numb to the world, he is so worried about doing everything right, not upsetting people and avoiding tension. There were a few nice guys in the group and the circle exercises ended with the same outcome. We took them into the "ring" and physically pushed their limits until they cracked. I took on the fun job as acting out the bully, I had to make him get angry and get in his body so I kicked dirt on him, bitch slapped him, yelled in his face, called him names, taunted him and pushed him until he flipped his lid and fought back. When he did, it was amazing, it was like unleashing a wild bull and we saw a whole new side of him we had not seen. A very masculine, attractive and emotional side that women would go crazy over.

Another funny thing happened, a young guy and girl (mid 20's) were looking for their campground and stumbled across our pack of 14 smelly, grungy, dirty guys. When the guy asked us for directions you could tell how scared he was and how turned on the girl was. No one used a line on her or even said anything to her, but she started nervously fidgeting, licking her lips, flipping her hair and walking with her ass out because of how turned on she was by us.

We learned how to defend ourselves aka put someone in the hospital, knife fight, throw people and defend against a gun by Rick, who is one badass mother fucker. It kinda felt like being in bootcamp, but it was awesome. I'm actually a little bit concerned because if some dude starts shit with me in a bar now, I might end up in the back of a cop car. The point wasn't to start fights but to half the confidence to defend yourself if shit hits the fan which is obviously a very attractive quality to women.

In conclusion, you are better off spending 10 days roughing it in the woods then you are going out 10 nights in a row and opening 100 women.

Trippin

2008-09-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Washington D.C. and had an amazing time. The prior week or two I was feeling kinda down and a little depressed, which is weird for me because I am usually the happiest guy ever. Getting over a breakup can be tough, but I would highly recommend taking a trip to jolt you back into gear. Now don't just take any trip or go somewhere with your usual crew of friends. Go somewhere you haven't been to in a while and visit and old friend or family, whatever.

I went out to DC to visit my little sister who just started her freshman year at George Washington University. I also was visiting my friend who played college golf with me at UCSD and my freshman year roommate from UCSD. It was awesome reconnecting and getting seriously intoxicated with those guys. It was also really funny hanging out at my sisters dorms. Being back in a dorm made me miss college a little, but sleeping 4 people to a small room, those feelings disappeared quickly. The trip kinda revitalized me and now I feel great, so I highly recommend taking a trip often to add some variety to your life, it also leads to create stories.

So anyways, if you are reading this, you probably wanna hear about some stuff relating to dating...

Lets talk about being BOLD. If you are not bold in the very early stages of an interaction, you quickly fall into the friends zone. Lets take this example, start a conversation with a cute girl and make her laugh, but then you just kinda stand there bantering for a few minutes and then vibing. Even if she likes you, you are sliding down a slippery slope into the friends zone. Here' the problem, you gotta TOUCH HER!!!! You are way better off, I repeat, wayyyy better off, being too touchy then not touchy at all. I don't care how you touch her, smack her ass, put your arm around her, hip check her, karate chop her!! Obviously be gentle but the point is to be bold and show her you like her through touch. If not, she just thinks your funny and maybe cute, but if you wanna sleep with her, I would suggest touching her early. I don't want to say too much about this because it leads to paralysis of analysis, if you start worrying about when to touch, how much to touch, how to touch, etc... you are thinking too much and ruining your chances. If you don't push your limits, you will never know where your limits are, so be BOLD.

Play Poker = Get Confident

2008-08-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, this post is kinda a stretch. I was playing live poker at the Bicycle Casino in Bell Gardens, Los Angeles last night and had an interesting epiphany. If you are the loudest, most fun, or most scary guy at the poker table, you often win a lot more money and people are obliged to play easier against you and give you respect. I'm not saying you have to be good at poker, you just need to be the center of attention. Its really interesting to watch, for example, if everyone at the table loves you for cracking jokes or just providing entertainment, people will literally tell you when they have you beat in a hand to save you money, it happens all the time. Most of the players are very quiet, shy and unsocial. Granted, poker is not the most social game but if you have fun and turn it into a social networking event you can have a blast.

The poker table is also a great place to practice being masculine if you are a recovering nice guy. Nice guys avoid confrontation and all poker is a series of confrontation involving money, where emotions run hot. If you can learn to unapologetically take someones money, it is going to help you with women and in business. So there you have it, I am the first person ever to find a correlation between playing poker and meeting women. But im not talking about online poker here, just in person, NERDS! haha.

Suck it up Hoss!

2008-08-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

This title has absolutely nothing to do with what I am about to write but Its funny just the same.

This past weekend I participated as a student in my own workshop, The Inner Game of Connection. I want to tell you about my experience. I knew the workshop was good based on the growth I've seen from our clients, but I had no idea until I experienced it for myself. If you think I am just writing this to bullshit you into taking it, you are partly correct, but none of this is bullshit, and yes I do want you to take it, so you can improve, and I can make enough money to keep teaching and eat.

My girlfriend and I recently broke up and it has been a struggle for me, nothing quite like I've ever experienced. I'm usually a super happy, fun guy but for the past 2 weeks since I got back from Israel, I haven't been in the chipperest of moods. What has really helped is to allow myself to feel and experience all the negative emotions that come with a breakup and move through them, rather then resist feeling like shit. I decided it would be a good idea for me to go through the workshop for two reasons, the first is that I wanted to see what I could get out of it, for some reason, when we designed it, we were too lazy to actually put ourselves through most of the exercises, and the second reason was that my girlfriend was coaching at it and I knew I would have a hard time being present with the students with her on my mind. It turned out to be a great experience for me.

On the first day, I really uncovered my masculine purpose in life right now. I want to feel an insanely strong sense of personal power that I know I am capable of if I can remove all the bullshit on the surface that I use to play small in life and stop me from taking action and teach this to other men along the way. Since uncovering this purpose, I have felt a strong sense of peace and direction in my life that was not present before. When you are living a life of purpose, your path, actions and thoughts become clear, when you are not, everything is very cloudy and you spend a lot of time in inquiry and doubt land which doesn't do you or anyone else any good. If you don't know what your purpose is and you are trying to meet women, good luck, it isn't going to be easy!

Later that night after the first day had ended I decided to go out with a friend of mine to one of the hottest nightclubs in LA, Le Deux. We did the whole bottle service thing and dropped a wad of cash and at the end of the night I felt really unfulfilled and shitty. While at the club, I felt this weird anxiety, what I really wanted to do was sit on the coach and just relax and people watch, I kept on beating myself up for not talking to women and being social. The more I beat myself up, the shittier I felt about sitting on the coach, so I was completely stuck between a rock and a hard place. I set myself up to have a terrible time and I realized that I do this all the time when I am out as a single guy. IT SUCKS!!

The next morning started out rough at the workshop, I was hung over, sad, lonely and confused, I also felt like a failure with women because the previous night sucked. I am sitting there, beating myself up for wasting $300 bucks on a bottle, and then beating myself up for beating myself up! AM I INSANE!?!? My partner Brian, who was facilitating the workshop, told me the previous day that I am really hard on myself and in response to that, I told myself I am an idiot for being hard on myself, ironic huh? Early on Saturday in the workshop I got present to how bankrupt and silly it is to beat myself up over everything. I started crying which doesn't happen very often and experienced the full emotions of years of doing that. About a minute later, everything became really clear and for a rare moment I was actually 100% present! It was amazing to be so in the moment like that, and since then I have not been beating myself up at all. When I start to do it, I just laugh and cut it out. Just that alone has been priceless and allowed me to feel much better about myself and really boosted my confidence.

The rest of the day was interesting, my assignment for lunch was to go to lunch for 1.5 hours by myself. Here I am on the Venice Beach Pier, completely pissed off, I felt like a kid in "Time Out" I am sitting on the pier and watching an old man throw bread pieces to pigeons. I notice the large "alpha" pigeon snag the first few crumbs, then the next, and the next, after about 2 minutes, the stupid fucking alpha pigeon ate an entire slice of bread and left none for the other birds! If I had I rifle I would have blown that stupid bird away and then shot the old man in the knee cap for being so retarded. Couldn't he see that the same damn bird was getting all the bread?! WHAT THE FUCK!? This is what happens when I spend time by myself. After lunch I realized that I really resist being alone, but when I am alone, it doesn't feel that bad at all. I left the second day like a new man with a new found sense of self confidence.

The third day of the workshop was exciting and filled with exercises. The last exercise of the day was "putting it all together." We had to approach and interact with a beautiful woman and be 100% present, in our body, and unapologetic about our needs and wants as a man. During this interaction, the women give feedback on how attracted they are to you in the moment. It was really interesting to watch the other guys. The women were calling out numbers all over the place, 7,9,2,4,5,8,1,0,8... it was really fascinating. You would think that there would be a natural progression, you approach and attraction increases or decreases steadily, like 7,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 blowout! This would be the case for men, you see a beautiful woman, you approach, she is 8, she starts talking, still 8, you get horny, 9, you get drunk, 10. HAHA, but for women, different ball game! Women are attracted to you ability to manage tension and be present in the moment with them. That is why the numbers jump around so much. When I did the exercise, I was kinda nervous, but I just did what I wanted to do in each moment, I didn't apologize or worry about doing it right and my feedback from her was, 8,9,10,10,9,10,9,10,9 and then I asked her if she was nervous, she said no, and I said yes, she said 6! I relaxed and gave her a confident smirk and it went back up to 9. I did so well because I was with her 100%, eye contact, breath, everything, I wasn't thinking, I was just breathing and enjoying the moment. ITS THAT EASY, if we could just get out of our heads we would get out of our own way. Stop trying to do it right, say the right thing. Stop trying to be present, or masculine, or macho. Stop trying to neg, DHV, banter, run jealousy plots, and disqualify. This stuff may work, its worked in the past for me, but you don't need it. Its like playing golf with brian sensor and every teacing aide known to man on your body. Sure you might hit good shots, or even have a good round, but you look like a fool, feel like a douche and people will think you are weird. Would Tiger do that? Don't think so, he thinks about one thing, WIN.

So after 2.5 days I left my own workshop with a profound sense of confidence, not because I learned a lot, or had a lot of insights or got some great practice, it was because I simply learned how to accept myself, be present, and own my wants, needs and desires as a man. It feels great!

Now I don't ever do this because its not nice, its bad business and I'm too nice of a guy, but fuck it! Fuck the pickup companies, any workshop teaching you routines, gimmicks and tricks if you don't have your inner game worked out is a complete waste of time and money. And the worst part of it all is that it will actually make you worse with women!!! Take it form me, I know. I spent 2 years learning how to be the funniest mother fucker at the bar. Does it make any difference? Sometimes, but it does nothing for me along the lines of my purpose or what I want. The way I see it, you have two options, spend years and 1000's of hours practicing to be good with women by gaining knowledge or spend a few days cutting through your own bullshit and tapping into that animal instinct we all have to meet members of the opposite sex. If a stupid looking giraffe can get laid by grunting at a female giraffe, then so can you!

Fake Accents

2008-08-10T21:15:00.000-07:00

I went out the other night in LA and decided to have a little fun with a fake Israeli accent. I just got back from an amazing 10 day trip so my accent seemed kinda real, I mean real enough that nobody called me out on it. I had never done the fake accent before because it made me really nervous. On one hand, I thought it would be weird, lame or douchebaggy to try to pretend to be someone I'm not but on the other hand, its fun, it pushes your comfort zone and going to a bar isn't supposed to be serious or real unless you really want it to. I wanted to do a little experiment. I decided to use the fake accent for a while and then subtly fade it out during conversation. The funny thing was, most people didn't even notice. Just goes to show how little people pay attention in bars.

The main thing I noticed is that when I did this accent, I felt like I was doing something wrong or bad. It brought up a lot of weird insecurities. The other thing the accent allowed me to do was be way more naturally touchy feely. Either way, it was a lot of fun to try it out and its a great exercise so if you want to get better in bars, go ahead and try it. Just make sure whatever accent you choose doesn't sound nasaly, because that is really unattractive. An example of this is the studly Padraig Harrington who just won back to back major championships, whatever you do, don't talk in an Irish accent like this chap.

Nice Guys Finish Last - Q & A

2008-07-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

Hey Robbo, saw your Nice Guys Finish Last post, makes a lot of sense. Very interested in those exercises you mentioned for putting yourself in more tense situations. Any ideas?

Cheers mate,
Nice blog by the way

Good question. If you want to put yourself through more tense situations, the first thing to realize is that you need to step outside of your comfort zone. If you are feeling comfortable or at ease in a situation, it is impossible to grow as a person. So you should look for activities to do things that you are uncomfortable or scared to do with women. These situations will create tension for everyone involved, especially you. You want to get to a point where you are very comfortable in what most people would consider tense situations. To do that you must learn to love tension rather then running from it. There are many ways to create tension, but not all tension is good. Sexual tension is great but if you screw it up, it turns into awkward, stalker, chester the molester tension, haha, not so good. With that being said, you need to push your boundaries and don't worry about screwing up. You will only know where your boundary is if you get to it, catch my drift? So go out and do things you wouldn't normally do in social situations. Say things you wouldn't normally say, try to be cocky and see what happens. If people like it, you are managing the tension properly, if they are wierded out, it means you are not. Try this exercise, spend an entire day talking in an accent, and ask people if they can tell its fake after talking to them briefly.

Come meet me in LA this weekend!

2008-07-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

I'm doing our Inner Game workshop this weekend in Santa Monica with my partner Brian Begin, my girlfriend Jamie and the other ladies of Inner Confidence and I want you to come meet me and check out all the cool stuff we are working on Sunday night at 7 PM. We will be speaking on lots of cool stuff that will make a big difference for you. If it doesn't, I will buy you 7 Long Island Iced Teas but you must finish them all in under 30 minutes. Check out the details here www.innerconfidence.com/seminar.html.

Cheers,

Robbo

Quite possibly the biggest mistake guys make while trying to get better with women!

2008-07-11T08:42:00.000-07:00

This is the biggest issue of them all. You can have all the best routines and stories memorized but it won’t matter if you are in your head. Once you start talking she won’t be able to feel you, or even worse, will feel your anxiety and will begin to feel uncomfortable. You need to teach yourself to relax when talking to an attractive woman. People feel each others emotions on a subtle level. Women are at least 10x better at this than men. They might not be able to put it into words but if you are nervous, anxious and in your head, something will feel off to them. Now, the good thing is the opposite will happen if you are feeling good and having fun. They will feel that and really enjoy your company even if what you’re talking about isn’t that exciting. This can even work with feelings of attraction and arousal. Learning to convey positive emotions is a skill that all naturals have and they aren’t doing it through their words.

For tips to get out of your head check out these videos.

More on acting your age.

2008-07-08T14:18:00.001-07:00

Check out our free videos

Women are not like men. There are plenty that don’t care about age. I had a 56 year old student last weekend that picked up a hot blond twenty something on Friday and made out with her all night and took another hot 24 year old out on Sunday night that called him after meeting her Saturday morning taking a walk. They don’t care about his age. Once in awhile you will get some resistance on the age issue. If you do, they are just letting you down easy because they weren’t really attracted in the first place. Now, in some cases you might run into a woman that has an issue with the age thing. Move on, there are plenty that don’t care.

Mistake: Trying to change yourself

2008-07-07T08:16:00.000-07:00

The core you is always attractive but guys assume that they need to change who they are to get results. What you really need to do is stop. Stop doing all the things you do to keep you from getting results. Stopping the self doubt machine in your head, stopping the fear, stop trying to impress with money and status and stop trying to be cool. When you try to create this stuff, like stories in your head, it comes across as incongruent and women feel that. It’s the same as lying. This takes us back to routines designed to convey all kinds of cool shit about you but none of it is true. Stop trying to be somebody else and let the fun, exciting man inside of you come out. Learn what is interesting about you. I have never met a student that didn’t have some interesting stuff in their life even if they had trouble trying to find it in the first place. So what I’m saying is to do stuff that brings out more of the confident guy that’s inside rather than trying to pretend to be something your not and coming across plastic. It’s like the women in Hollywood with all the insecurities and plastic surgery to match.

Watch a video on this here.

Mistake: Learning Lines and Routines

2008-07-03T21:58:00.000-07:00

Inner Confidence

I see nothing wrong with learning Lines and Routines but most guys make the mistake of thinking this is wear the magic happens. The real magic happens when you start to change the your beliefs and your sub communication. By sub communication I mean the 93% of your communication that is not the words. Most of your communication comes from your body language, voice tonality and facial expressions, including eye contact. If you change your belief systems your sub communication will change automatically and as you change your body language your belief systems will change. So, you want to make changes from both ends. Model people with great body language, work on having a powerful confident voice and make sure you have great eye contact. Once you get good at eye contact you can start having conversations with women long before you even open your mouth. While doing that you’ll also want to work on your the belief systems. You want to get rid of negative self talk. If you say to yourself that “women don’t like me because I’m short” then it’s true, believing is seeing. In other words you will see proof of what you believe in the world around you and I know many men that are great with women that are not tall at all. They don’t see it so the women don’t see it. I had a female roommate that always said that she didn’t like dating short guys. She was 5’11” and liked to wear high heels. She was very clear about this. I was fairly new at this and had managed to make friends with a guy that was amazing with women, he 5’8” at the most. Now, I knew that was way to short for her because I was 5’8’ and we had already had the talk about height several times. It took her all of about 10 minutes of spending time with him before she turned to me and whispered in my ear “Now, I’d do him” I said but he is only 5’8”. She said “it doesn’t matter, Id still do him”. Women have an ideal fantasy but that changes real fast depending on you, your sub communication and your beliefs.

~Brian Begin (he's good huh)

Mistake: Trying to look good.

2008-07-02T17:04:00.000-07:00

Why is everyone (including me) so damn worried about looking good? People build relationships based on trust and how trustable you are goes hand in hand with being authentic. People are much more drawn to someone if they seem authentic or “real” but when you are concerned about looking good, you can’t be possibly be real. I’m not telling you to completely forget about your appearance or how you come across to people, but when you let your guard down and show your true colors, people are naturally drawn to you. Most guys think that if they drive a fancy car and flash their wallet around, they will attract women, but women are completely turned off and see right through this behavior. If you enjoy wearing fancy suits, driving flashy cars and speaking with a lavishly verbose vocabulary, then by all means, continue to do it, but if you are just doing it to make a good impression or to look good for women, stop wasting your time. If it was about looking good, then the raggedy, unshaven jock would never bang girls in the back of his pickup truck. The key is to be yourself and be proud of it.

So now that you realize that looking good is just a ploy to get people to like and admire you, go ahead and admit it and people will be drawn to you like flies on shit. Tell one on yourself and watch what happens, you will be amazed.

Mistake: Spending more time...

2008-07-01T11:28:00.000-07:00

...Spending more time going out to meet women, and less time hanging out with the guys.

It seems counterintuitive, but if you want to get better with women, you should learn how to first interactive with other guys. Women are attracted to leaders of men, the captain of the football team is much more attractive then a nuclear physicist. The more you can bring out your masculine side, the sexier you become. So start doing physical activities that make you feel like a man. Go rock climbing, play football, get dirty. Surrounding yourself with women and feminine activities may seem like a good way to relate to women, but you will quickly fall into the dreaded “friends zone.” You don’t want to be the guy she calls when she wants to go shopping. When you hang out with other men, things usually turn into a competition because men are driven by challenge. This will help you become more assertive and confident in yourself because you won’t be worried about looking good.

Mistake: Becoming a lair keyboard jockey

2008-06-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

I see a lot of guys falling into the dreaded trap of “keyboard jockeying.” This means that they spend more time writing about meeting women and posting on online forums then they do improving their skills with women. Its really easy to fall into this trap because once you learn a lot of information, it feels good to share it with others. If your goal is to meet women, make sure you spend more time out meeting women then you do researching and posting online. Women don’t care how much you know about seducing them, you have to be able to walk the walk.

For more mistakes go to my new site InnerConfidence and sign up for my newsletter and 5 free videos that kick major ass.

Mistake: Hanging out with Debbie Downers (pessimists).

2008-06-29T18:11:00.000-07:00

Hanging out with Debbie Downers (pessimists).

I’m sure you have that buddy who loves to poke fun at you and put you down, we all do. He is the guy that says to you, “dude, she is way out of your league.” This guy may be funny and a good friend, but if you are trying to get better with women, you are doing yourself a disservice by going out with him or consulting with him for advice. Changing patterns of behavior and getting good at a new activity can be challenging enough on its own, you don’t need people in your environment giving you more reasons to talk yourself out of approaching that cute girl. Do yourself a favor and find other guys that are committed to improving their lives, get in action and push each other.

For more info on this, check out my website. Inner Confidence

Mistake: Acting younger or older then you really are

2008-06-27T15:51:00.000-07:00

It seems very logical to think that 23 year old women are more
attracted to 25 year old guys and 40 year old women are more attracted
to 40 year old men. Therefore, a lot of guys try to relate to women
they meet by trying to act their age. A lot of older guys feel like
they could not possibly attract a young woman but this is completely
false. Women are attracted to a mans capacity to be himself. Older
guys forget that women love men with a lot of experience, wisdom and
maturity. Look at Tommy Lee Jones and Sean Connery, they are both old
and not particularly good looking but young women love them. Do I
need to even say it, Hugh Hefner. On the other hand, young men are
very attractive to older women, hence the popularity of cougars. But
it is a major turnoff to a 35 year old hottie to meet a 22 year old
guy who is pretending to be a big shot. The bottom line is this, act
your age and be proud of who you are, women will dig it.

Mistake: Trying to gather a lot of knowledge

2008-06-26T17:45:00.000-07:00

We are programmed by society that in order to learn something new, we must have a lot of information before taking action. When most people, and especially men, start a new endevour they first decide that they much gain as much knowledge as possible in order to succeed. That may work for learning how to perform surgery or write software but it is a mistake for learning how to attract women into your life. There is no substitute for “doing” so if you want to get good quickly, you would be far better off just doing exactly that, going up and talking to women. Unfortunately, learning how to have a conversation is not very applicable because if you are thinking about the keys to having a good conversation while trying to have one, you are not going to be present in the conversation at all, which ironically, is the key to having great conversations. Its similar to thinking about your swing while playing golf, you end up playing much more poorly then if you would just shut your brain off and swing the club. Its ok to gather knowledge but avoid paralysis by analysis. Stop thinking about it, just go do it.

Well what do I do, Robbie?!

Start by setting a goal. For example lets take weight loss. Goal is to lose 10 pounds in a month. Then set up a structure to make it a reality. To lose 10 pounds in 30 days you must lose about 3 pounds every 10 days, which turns into about 1/3 of a pound a day. A pound is 2500 calories, so 1/3 of that is like 833. That means that you need to burn 833 calories a day. If you typically consume about 3000 calories a day and your weight has been constant, you are gonna need to eat 833 less or work out 833 more, or a combination of both. So pick an action plan and stick to it. Now I am going to take my own advice and lose some weight. You should apply this to dating, and let me know if you come up with a good action plan. Email it to me or post a comment and I'll give you some tips.

Are you really sorry?!

2008-06-24T23:06:00.000-07:00

I was wondering if you could comment about apologizing. I'm finding I have troubles differentiating when to say sorry and when not too. Sometimes I don't want to say sorry because I think I'll be persevered as weak or supplicating if I apologize over SMALL things that I feel don't matter THAT much. Sometimes this hurts my relationship with the girl and sometimes it strengthens it, cause I'm not always looking to please the girl. Basically I know every scenario is situational but if you could give me a guideline then that would be awesome. Thank you so much!

Great question! Like you said, there is no hard-fast rule of when to apologize and when not to but here are some guidelines. Most men apologize for their wants, needs and desires. Its the typical "nice guy" syndrome. So you should never apologize for anything like that.

A good rule of thumb is this: Are you apologizing because you want to avoid tension? If so, don't! The more you can manage tension, the more attractive and trustable you will be to women.

Lets say you fuck up, and are genuinely sorry. You should def. apologize in this case. You can also look from this place: What would make a difference in terms of getting in her world, or understanding her communication. If apologizing will allow her to feel your sincerity then you should because it will bring you closer and make you more trustable.

Don't worry to much about appearing weak or supplicating if you do apologize.

Golden Rule: If you want to apologize, do it and mean it! If you don't want to, don't and don't feel bad about it either. Women will be able to feel the difference and they will also be able to tell when you are being inauthentic. She may be pissed in the moment, but deal with it, don't apologize to make her happy cuz she will resent you for it in the end.

LA Intro Seminar

2008-06-15T09:53:00.000-07:00

My friend Brian Begin, and I are doing an intro seminar for our Inner Game workshop in LA next Sunday, June 22nd. We are going to cover some ground breaking information on attraction and creating a deep emotional connection without using lines, tricks or routines. Come check us out, I hope to see you there.

www.innerconfidence.eventbrite.com

I will give free admission to the first one that can answer this question.

What is the worst thing about roller blading?

Nice Guys Finish Last

2008-06-14T23:21:00.000-07:00

Why does it seem like women like assholes? Why do you get stuck in the friends zone when you are nice?

Because women are attracted to men who can manage tension. The problem with being a nice guy is that nice guys are afraid of tension. They run from it, avoid it, attempt to downplay it and set up there entire lives to rid themselves of it. Take it from me, I used to be one of those nice guys. I hated tension and was scared of confrontation. And when I was really into a girl, I would be increasingly nice.

So why don't women like nice guys? I mean, they are nice, shouldn't they like them? The problem is that being a nice guy is inauthentic. I'm not saying it is inauthentic to be nice, I am saying that being nice to avoid tension is inauthentic. Women can't trust a nice guy. Biologically then are attracted to men who can risk their lives for them, emotionally and physically. Women know that a nice guy will fail at this because he will do anything to avoid risk (tension). Women are often attracted to assholes because they are not afraid of tension.

So how do you transform if you are a nice guy? Its easy, you put yourself in situations to get you used to tension. In other words, you do exactly what you are scared of. These exercises are different for everyone because everyone has different insecurities when it comes to dealing with tension. One example is to go an entire day without saying "im sorry." If you want more exercises email me at robertmkramer@gmail.com and Ill hook you up.

Del Boca Vista

2008-06-05T04:43:00.000-07:00

I just arrived in sunny, Miami to guest speak at LVO3's AOF. Its gonna be a fun couple days and my girlfriend, Jamie, and I will be presenting on personality traits and making connections with people.

Here is a recent video on how to avoid the Lets Just be Friends Test.

Leave a comment, let me know how awesome I am.

New Videos

2008-06-04T08:48:00.000-07:00

Check out these youtube videos at www.youtube.com/golfpimp18hb

I'm coming to LA

2008-05-28T09:03:00.000-07:00

Me and my friend, Brian Begin, are gonna up in LA this weekend doing our Inner Game of Connection Workshop. On Sunday night, June 1st at 7pm we are gonna do an Intro Seminar on some crazy mind blowing shit. Sorry about the cheap sales talk, but it really is quite good. Come check us out in Venice Beach, here is the link...

http://www.eventbrite.com/event/118170451

I'll give free admission to the first one who can answer this question:

What is the worst thing about roller blading?

My New Website is up!

2008-05-15T01:14:00.000-07:00

Check it out! www.innerconfidence.com

Free Sh*t

2008-05-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

Who wants free stuff? You know what they say right, nothing in this world is free. It is true for the most part, people are always expecting something in return even if they are giving it away. For example, if you go up to a girl and give her a sincere compliment, you may not think you are looking for acknowledgement but every single guy out there would rather here "Thank you so much!" then "OK, uhh thanks i guess."

So this is the part of this post where I give you something for free. You know how people are always trying to get you to call in for a free dating assessment and things like that? If you didn't know they are just trying to get you to sign up for private coaching or a workshop or some service. But guess what, you have the power to say no. And if you are scared of saying no, you probably are not doing very well with women. If you can't say no to a woman, she will walk all over you whether she is a nice girl or a bitch. Its just human nature. Don't be a pussy and give lame ass excuses rather then saying no like "I cant afford it, or I don't have time, or I need to think it over." You are not fooling anyone. You should only say Yes to something when you really mean it, otherwise you will be constantly pleasing everyone but yourself, and at a certain point you will get fed up with it and become very angry and frustrated. Take this from me, I have been there.

So here is what I'm giving you for free... I am offering free 30-45 minute evaluation calls to see where you are at with women. During those 30 minutes, I'll give you some tips and feedback and in the end, I'm gonna tell you to take my inner game workshop or get private coaching unless you are complete stud (you wouldnt bother to call if you were though). If you are reading this, I know you are committed to improving this area of your life and a much better use of your time would be actually going out to meet some women. If you aren't already doing or you are doing it and yielding poor results, get some coaching. If Tiger Woods uses a coach, it must be worth it. He is the greatest golfer on the planet, but he can't even see what he is doing wrong. So here is your chance, I'm only offereing 5 of these assessment calls so be a man and claim one now. Email me at robertmkramer@gmail.com and we can set it up.

Here are a couple testimonials from guys who just took the workshop:

My name is George and I'm 27. I took this workshop because I felt I was still missing something when it came to my relationships with women. I felt disconnected, as if I wasnt really getting to know any of these women for who they truly were. I was surprised to find the weekend was filled with test after test by some very beautiful, very strong women who truly knew how to kick my ass and help me grow into a more confident man. The coaches really showed me how to open up and allow myself to become more vulnerable. In the process a lot of my own insecurities were brought. And when they did, I was guided through them wiht great care and compassion, (despite the ass kicking hotties) In the end, the workshop for me, was all about working out my inner shit that was stopping me from enjoying the experience of feeling connected with other people, and be completely comfortable with myself around new people.

Brandon-27. I decided to take the Inner Game of Connection Workshop for two main reasons. First, I wanted to be able to open up with my emotions and two, I wanted to be able to connect with girls and with people in general on a deep and powerful level. My workshop experience far exceeded my expectations (which were already pretty high). The workshop exercise, which are beyond anything that be taught in a book or podcast were designed to explan my comfort zone and my previous limitations. Connecting with different girls numerous times gave me a profound and peaceful feeling that I had never felt before. Also, I was tested by girls, had my buttons pushed and was taught what it means to be a truly superior man. This is beyond lines and techniques, this workshop focuses on you and on becoming more conscious and developing true power within yourself. I told the instructors I wanted to be pushed as hard as possible and I really was. Since the workshop, Ive been in my own reality and have brought many girls into that. I am able to make my needs and wants known, better handle tests and most importantly, am on a more honorable and exciting path then I ever was before in life. I highly reccomend this workshop to virtually anybody because no matter your skill level, it is a recipe for personal growth.

Online Dating Made Easy

2008-04-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

Ok guys so I am going to let you in on some exciting news I just found out. A couple of my buddies who have been secretly meeting hundreds of beautiful women on myspace and facebook are finally going public with their system.

These are just 2 normal guys who have been meeting up to 40 women a week...rediculous right?

They really want guys to learn and use this kick ass system so they're giving
away a number of training videos. You can check them out here. http://www.windowshoppingforwomen.com/cmd.php?af=768768

Seriously if you have ever wanted to know how to meet tons of beautiful quality women while sitting on your couch then you gotta check this out!

This system can help literally EVERYONE double or triple the number of women in
their life. So get your hands on these videos now I'm not sure how long they are going to be up.
http://www.windowshoppingforwomen.com/cmd.php?af=768768

Don't be an idiot!

2008-04-21T22:17:00.001-07:00

Do you ever find yourself doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result. Call me crazy but if you are doing this, you are out of your mind, wacko, kookoo, insane, and flat out blinded by your own stupidity!

Do you know how I know this? Its very simple... I'm guilty of acting in this manner all the time! Human beings are a crazy species of animal, we have these minds that reason, deduce, analyze and judge everything we do in order for us to understand ourselves. But sometimes, our minds play tricks on us.

If you are reading this blog, you are probably interested in learning about women so lets use this as an example. Lets say you just took a workshop and you learned how to walk up to a girl and deliver an opener. You practiced all day long and now you are ready to unleash your pickup mastery on the hottie in the Starbucks line. So you saunter up and say the greatest opener ever: "So not to be that guy that hits on you in the starbucks line, but yeah... I'm gonna be that guy." Lets say she lights up and you feel like the man. Your logical mind tells you that you should continue to use this approach in the future. So you go out the next 30 days in a row and deliver the exact same line but you get a disgusted look and a leave me alone gesture from the woman every time! Here is an obvious hint, CHANGE SOMETHING BRO!!!! What you are doing isn't working, and practicing your hand gestures, posture and voice tonality are not gonna get you any further. You need to take a whole new approach rather then improving on the crappy one. When you do things like this you are looking for the quick fix which will only work in the short term if it works at all. If you have an 83 Ford Pinto and the engine is about the blow up, you wouldn't buy new brake pads or leather seats to spruce that baby up would you? You would probably buy a new car or take the bus, or rollerblade. Do you get my point?!?!

If your current actions are not yielding results, change the actions. What I used to do and most other guys that are looking to improve their love life is look for the little details that might be holding you back. But I learned that the key is to try something completely different.

Quit looking for the quick fix with routines, gimmicks, pickup lines and DHV material, thats not what its about. Try changing who you are being in the moment with women. Here are some exercises to help you with that.

1. Speak in an accent for an entire day.
2. Call every woman you see Darling and every guy chief for a day.
3. Sprint everywhere you go for a day.

So the point is to change up your fundamental way of behaving. I promise it will work, and you will have lots of fun doing it. If you want more coaching on this, email me at robertmkramer@gmail.com

Top 10 Things to know about First Dates.

2008-04-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

This was written by my good friend Eric, aka Disco from www.approachanxiety.com. It was so juicy I had to steal it.

You just met an amazing girl.

Wow.

This girl is different from all the others. You’ve been on dates before, but they didn’t really mean anything compared to this girl. Now it’s ON! All of a sudden you start to scramble. Where to go? What to do? You ask your friends. You search the internet. What do you do on the perfect date????

Here are ten rules to make this simple and easy.

Spend as Little Money On Her As Possible. You don’t want to pick up an expensive tab for a woman. It sets up the wrong tone. If things happen, she wants to feel like she did it because she wanted to, not because she felt obligated. The date is about getting to know each other, not you showing off how much money you have. If we’re meeting for drinks, I’ll pay for their first round. I’ll say “I’m paying for the first round; you pay for the next five.” And I let her pay for the next round of drinks. Believe me; it won’t put her in the poor house.

Never Take Her Out to Dinner On the First Date. If you pay for dinner, you end up pressuring her. If you split the bill, you could look cheap. But aside from this, if you’re sitting across from her having dinner, it leads into the traditional relationship where you’re a suitor and she’s evaluating you. Meeting for drinks or coffee sets you apart. You are seeing if you like her as much as she is seeing if she likes you.

Make It As Low-Pressure As Possible When you Invite Her Out. A "date" is a pressure cooker of expectations. When I set it up, I don't call it a date. I tell her we’re meeting for “a drink”--singular--not "drinks." I usually follow up the invitation with “and you better not get me drunk and take advantage of me” or “...if you think you can handle it.”

Don't Take Her Out on a Friday or Saturday Night. On those nights, you’re competing with all the noise and all the partying. She will expect high-energy fun. I prefer a Thursday night or a Sunday night when the expectations are relaxed. Other non-weekend nights are good as well.

Take Her Somewhere Quiet. If you met her at a loud bar or club, you want to get her out of that environment for the date. You don’t want to meet up with her again at a loud place. You want to go somewhere quiet where you can sit and connect. The first date is for getting to know each other.

Take Her Somewhere Comfortable. Find a place with couches. You want to sit next to her, not across from her, so there can be a lot of physical contact. Avoid awkward hard chairs, or sitting across from each other at a table.

Take Your Dates to the Same Place Every Time. I take all my dates to the same place. It’s a cool bar, a little bit of a dive feel, but there’s artwork hanging up. There are couches in the back. And it’s usually not too loud. I’ve been going to this place for years. I've had a lot of success there, so I feel really comfortable there, like I'm in my living room.

Never Meet Up With Your Friends or Her Friends. Unless it was agreed on from the start that it would be that kind of date, do not meet up with her friends or your friends under any circumstances. It’s the kiss of death. If she wants to meet up with her friends, I would leave her at that point. It seems innocuous but I've had more than a few dates ruined by this. If she really likes you, she will be alone with you.

Find a Place Not Too Far from Your House. If things start to happen, you want to be within distance of your place. There is nothing wrong with going back to your place on the first date. If you do take her back to your place, you'll want an excuse. Any old excuse will do. The idea is that you don't want her to have to take responsibility for the interaction.

No Matter How Awesome and Special She Seems, Don't Try to Make the Date Extra Exciting. You meet a fvcking amazing woman and you’re going to go out with her, you feel like you have to take her on a REALLY COOL date, like jet skiing around the statue of liberty. And then trampolining in central park. No, I don’t care how fvcking hot she is. Have boring drinks or coffee in your favorite spot.

This shows how much you value yourself that you can do something low-key on the first date. Sure, you could play pool or miniature golf or do karaoke. That's okay. But the point is that YOU are what's interesting on the date. Your interaction with her should be the focus, not showing her a good time.

If she's meeting with you for a date, she is already attracted to you. You don't need to show her how fun you are by taking her some place exciting. In fact, the more boring the surroundings are, the more you can connect with each other and get to know each other.

Eric
_________________
Eric Disco

http://approachanxiety.com

How To Connect With Anyone

2008-04-03T10:00:00.001-07:00

My girlfriend, Jamie and I used some basic theories of dating and network marketing to design this theory for meeting and attracting women. I hope you guys enjoy it!

What would your life be like if you could effectively create a connection with anyone you meet? How many more quality relationships and fun times would you have? How much would that put you ahead of the competition? What else would you be able to learn and analyze? The difficulty lies in creating a connection with someone who seems completely different then you... like you have nothing in common. This deals with 4 basic personality types categorized by earth, fire, water and wind. It's amazing how it can help you get what you want in all areas of your life.

Overview of the elements of personality:

Everybody has some of every element in them. People will give you clues and hints to show you how to most effectively communicate with them. “Treat them the way THEY want to be treated” Be observant. Everything you need to know is in their behavior. There are verbal clues as well as visual clues as to what their primary as well as secondary elements are.

Do not try to change yourself or others after hearing this information. Simply notice your strengths and weaknesses.

There are four basic elements. You will be way more effective in connecting with others when you connect with them in their element style. First you will want to determine what element you are. Then you want to learn how to pick out what someone else is.

Beware of “learned behaviors” these can throw you off when figuring our what element you or someone else is. A learned behavior is when the way you are most comfortable being doesn’t work. You take on new unfamiliar characteristics to make up for it or fix it. Sometimes you know you do these things and other times they become a major part of your personality. Sometimes these things are really incongruent and noticeably fake to other people, and other times they are people’s favorite thing about you.

How to determine which element you are:

Draw a horizontal line and on the top write “Indirect” and on the bottom write “Direct”. To give you some examples of each…

Direct people make decisions quickly, they talk quickly, drive quickly and they walk quickly. They like risk. They contribute to and sometimes dominate conversation without being asked. Direct people have lots of friends. They are more vocal about opinions and ideas then indirect people. They are more competitive then indirect people. They are more promiscuous then indirect people, animated when speaking, impatient, confrontational, and competitive.

Indirect people take their time to make decisions and they don’t like to be rushed and pressured. They don’t like risk. They tend to drive, talk and walk slower. They are more likely to listen or wait their turn instead of speaking during a group discussion. You have to ask questions to get them talking. Indirect people tend to have smaller groups of closer friends. They are easier going then direct people. They are more picky with who they speak with and they are not as animated when speaking. They are patient, non-confrontational, and cooperative.

So which are you?

Now Draw a vertical line and on the right write relationship oriented and on the left write task oriented. Here are some examples of each…

Relationship Oriented people show more excitement then the average person. They stop the task at hand to talk to a friend. They share feelings openly, more freely and they make decisions based on feelings. These people smile more and appear relaxed and easy going. They are more flexible about allocating their time, spontaneous and have a friendly handshake.

Task Oriented show excitement less then the average person. Make decisions based on fact and logic. Keep your feelings to yourself. They want to get down to business and the task at hand. Particular about time, don‘t like people wasting it. Appear to be more tense and expressionless. Structured. Firm handshake.

Which are you?

In the top left write water, in the bottom left write earth and in the top right write fire and in the bottom right write wood. Go with your first impression. No color is better then any other color. Sometimes realizing what your true colors are by their weaknesses is the most effective.

Here is an overview of each of the colors:

Water: Open/relationship oriented and Direct. 15% of population. If you look at the natural form of water, it can represent adaptability, changeable, fluidity with emotions. The main motivating factor is fun and excitement. These people like to talk and in a group they will be the first to speak. They are driven by fun and excitement and are very spontaneous, charming and persuasive. They are good story tellers and sometimes they get carried away. They laugh and tell jokes a lot. They are animated, flirtatious, easily bored and need constant stimulation. They seek approval and recognition.

Visual clues: They wear stylish, sometimes outrageous clothing and walk quickly. They smile and laugh a lot and hug and touch more then average. They use lots of expressions, they are distractible. They look fun and approachable. They always find ways to be the center of attention.

Verbal clues: Talk loud and fast. Laugh a lot. Lots of voice inflections and colorful words. You can’t get them to shut up, chatter on and on about anything or nothing. Joke a lot.

Main identifiable weaknesses: Disorganized. They exaggerate. Can appear ditsy and scatterbrained. Forgetful. Talk too much, can be obnoxious. Will take a conversation in all kinds of directions and often forget what the point is.

Earth: Open/relationship oriented and Indirect. 35% of population. Friendliest people on the planet. Make the best friends. Want to establish relationship first. Don’t try to seduce yellow first, take your time to get to know them. Like to help people and they love animals. Easy to start conversation with. Best quality lovers, they want candlelit dinners and quality time. Smile a lot. They want to give other people what they want.

Visual clues: Wear comfortable, loose clothing. Have a slower walking pace, may wander. Don’t appear to be in a hurry. They smile so much you might start smiling. Hug and touch a lot. Looks nice and very approachable.

Verbal clues: Speak slowly and softly with gentle tones. Will speak when asked or when they feel it is their turn. Sound friendly and warm.

Main identifiable weaknesses: Do anything to avoid confrontation, so people tend to walk all over them. Lack confidence. Take things personally and are sensitive. Easily buy others excuses.

Fire: self-contained/indirect. 15% of population. Motivated by challenge. Productive. Want to get to the point. Don’t like to beat around the bush. Good multi-taskers. Don’t hug these people. Think crying is dysfunctional. Like control. Don’t like small talk. Thrive on opposition. Huge egos. Spank, spank, rub (a technique) and negs work on reds. Won't let others know they are offended. Think they are the kings and queens.

Visual clues: Wear designer clothing or what looks like designer clothing. Look sharp and cold. Business like. Walk intentionally, doing many things at once. Looks busy and unapproachable.

Verbal clues: Fast and direct. Sounds business like and confident. Loud. Can sound like they are giving orders when they are not.

Main identifiable weaknesses: Think they are better then other people and they walk on and control people. Impatient. Procrastination. Can seem rude and pushy. Stubborn. Don’t listen well.

Wood: Self-contained/indirect. 35% of population. Don’t ever want to be wrong. Very detail and fact oriented. Analyze everything. Once they make a decision they stick with it. Not touchy feely. Value integrity. Want a specific schedule. Very neat and organized. Always have a plan and a backup plan. Efficient. Enjoys tasks that may seem mundane to others. Dependable.

Visual Clues: Wears appropriate clothing. Dress comfortable and business like. Walks deliberately and slower, always judging and analyzing. Relatively expressionless.

Verbal Clues: Speaks with slow monotone voice. Sounds structured and will use statements like "according to...". Quiet and precise with word choice. Emotionless.

Main identifiable weaknesses: Over-analyze. Too critical and cautious. Perfectionists. Skeptical and pessimistic. Have to be right. They will get revenge if they think you deserve it.

You have between a 65% to 85% chance (depending on your element) of NOT connecting with someone you meet simply because of differences in personality. If you can find a way to connect with someone in their style to "get in the door" and establish rapport, your differences will keep them attracted in the end. It's important to still be yourself, because you can only be someone else for so long before it blows up in your face. Whenever there is a miscommunication remember you are probably speaking different languages again.

(Give examples of common miscommunications between elements.)

Have you ever heard “opposites attract”? It’s true they do. The earths and fires tend to marry and the waters and woods tend to get married. No wonder why the divorce rate is so high! They don’t know how to give the opposite element what they truly desire. It doesn’t work to give them what you desire unless you are the same element, which usually kills attraction eventually anyway. Treat them the way they want to be treated. You will USUALLY be attracted to those with the opposite personality type, so it’s important to learn how to speak their language. You can learn how to effectively connect with any personality type.

WATER:
Be playful, flirty, and direct. (Give examples of this)
How to connect with a blue: FUN FUN FUN! Be the life of the party to get their attention. They like to be the center of attention, so encourage that and talks about how you noticed them. Speak quickly, bounce around to different subjects in no particular order (keeps them entertained). They want you to like them. Be spontaneous. If it’s not fun they don’t want any part of it. Water are the most likely to flake if they find something better to do. Get them talking about themselves and telling stories. And have some upbeat stories to tell them as well. These people are very passionate and excitable. If you think you are being too crazy and obnoxious around a blue you’re not. Especially if you are a wood. Paint a bright picture of fun things you can do together on future dates. Use hand gestures and voice inflections. Laugh and touch them in a playful way. Waters are natural flirts, so flirt back. Their main motivating factor is fun and recognition. Show them you like them. Talk about your accomplishments and ask them about theirs. Use feeling words and colorful adjectives.

Avoid: being too structured or systematic, detailed or logical. They are too right brained and don’t like that stuff. Avoid rigid rules. The worst thing you can do to a water is spoil their fun.
(Give example of connecting with a water.)

EARTH:
Be playful, sweet, and indirect. (Give examples of this)
How to connect with a earth: Be relaxed and laid back. Smile at everything. Be nice to their friends and anyone who comes by. Give them a genuine compliment with out embarrassing them in front of their friends and you’re in. Be open about your feelings and show them you trust them, they will trust you back easily. They want to be accepted by you. Earths are most likely to flake and not tell you because they feel bad. Speak slower and smile a lot, I know I already said that but it's important. Show them pictures of your family and friends. Talk about friends, relationships, helping people, animals, charities, etc. Don’t dominate the conversation, even though you may have to work to get them talking. Really listen to what they say. Be playful and sweet. Appreciate their big hearts. Talk about what you are really dedicated to in your life and what you really believe in. Be light hearted and pleasant. Talk about your family, their family... the waitress's family (ok not really). Show them you are safe.

Avoid: Coming on too strong, they don’t like pushy aggressive people. Conflict and chaos. The worst thing you can do is cause conflict that takes away their peace. Do not diss their friends under any circumstances.
(Give an example of connecting with a earth.)

FIRE:
Be challenging, important, and direct. (Give examples of this)
How connect with a fire: Challenge them and don’t back down when they challenge back (its good to back down eventually or you will fight all night, these are the most bull headed stubborn people on the planet). They respect strength and people who don't back down to them. Be blunt and confident. They want to respect them. Fires have no problem letting you know they aren't going to hang out with you; lesser flake ratio then waters and earths, but still make sure to set something up in their schedule. Show them you’re strong, and at the same time let them lead a little. Respect their independence do not smother them. No lovey-dovey stuff too soon, that goes for you too earths! Talk about recent conquests or competitions, and listen to theirs, they will tell you without you asking. Show them that you are an important and socially valuable person to talk to, like they will be more important if they talk to you. Be careful though, they can smell insecurity. Be quick with getting to the point, they are impatient and dislike slow people. Let them talk about themselves. It’s ok to make fun of them, on occasion. It’s ok to argue with them (they call it a debate).

Avoid: Beating around the bush, small talk with no point. Being too touchy feely in public. Don’t ever let them think you are trying to take advantage of them. Don't talk down to them. The worst thing you can do is waste their precious time.
(Give an example of connecting with a fire.)

WOOD:
Be witty, logical, and indirect. (Give examples of this)
How to connect with a wood: Be logical and precise. Stick with the point when speaking, don’t wander off topic, and don’t go too fast. Do things in order. Have logical information to back up your points and give them references of places to get more information on the subject. Get them talking about something they have recently analyzed. Think before you speak and be accurate with figures. DO NOT exaggerate. Woods are the least likely to flake as they love their schedule, just make sure you really schedule something in time with them. Ask them analytical questions about facts or anything you are genuinely wondering. Woods are well read. Even better, ask them about what they are studying, reading, or researching lately. Tell them they are right and have good information. Don't rely on their facial expressions or touching to know if they are interested, they are not into that. Make your dates detailed processes and give them an outline of what you are doing. It’s ok to be predictable, they don‘t like surprises. The more boring you think the conversation is the more they are probably enjoying it (especially if you are water). Give them things to figure out and take apart, it will keep them interested.

Avoid: Making them feel wrong or stupid. Don’t embarrass them. Being late or disorganized. The worst thing you can do is be irrational and ruin the “order” they work so hard for.
(Give an example of connecting with a wood.)

They key is vulnerability. (talk about that)

Don’t expect yourself to be 100% accurate when reading people with this system. Remember there are sub elements and that ultimately everyone has some of every element in them. There are only 2.5% water waters, and 2.5% fire fires, 5% earth earths, and 5% wood woods. Throughout their lives people develop “learned” ways of being. So there may be idiosyncrasies within the elements. For example (each give an example of how we have something way off about our personalities). This is a general guideline. Trust your instincts and the facts you have about someone.

BTW to those of you who haven't figured it out, my girlfriend is a fire-water and I am a earth-water. Till next time have a fun, competitive, peaceful, and fact-filled day!

Jamie & Robbie

Email us for more info about this at robbieandjamie@gmail.com

Do not roll in dog piss!

2008-03-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

....and walk randomly into an old friends house you haven't seen for over a year without knocking. I'm not gonna lie, this just happened at my house. This guy was so wasted, he had nacho cheese all over his shirt, and most noticeably he stunk of animal feeces. He just sat there like he was totally welcome as my girlfriend and I both gave him hint after hint to get the f#*% out. He would not catch on. We took care of it, but the house still smells!

Moral of the story: Pay attention, sometimes you are the one who smells like shit and if you think you are gonna pick up girls when you smell, you are mistaken.

Note to most guys: You probably have B.O. get that shit handled NOW!!!!!

Take Your Time Cowboy!

2008-03-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

A lot of guys that have studied seduction are obsessed with getting girls into bed quickly. There is some outlandish 7 hour rule floating around in the community saying that it takes on average 7 hours to sleep with a woman.

Here's a little secret for you: It took me about 6 dates to sleep with my girlfriend!

Now does that make me a loser? Does it make me a chump? Does it mean that I wasn't as smooth or sexy or hot as those other guys that probably got her into bed way faster then me? I guess the answer to these questions are "Only if I say so."

The fact of the matter is, I'm really glad it took that long and here's why. If a smart, sexy and confident woman is really into you, she is not going to allow herself to sleep with you early on because she knows that once she gives it up, you may no longer be interested. This has never really been the case for me, but I know lots of other guys who immedietly lose interest once they get the sexy time. After the second date with my girlfriend I was really upset with myself. If I am such a great dating coach, how is it that I can't get this girl into bed already? I started searching for answers and analyzing what I was doing wrong and why I couldn't get her turned on enough to do me. Once I realized that all this bullshit pressure I was putting on myself was a waste of time I started seeing the bigger picture. The better you get with women and the better you get at connecting with women may actually lengthen the time it will take you to sleep with a woman. The other HUGE factor is obviously the woman. Maybe she has had a bad experience or she has strict moral or religious issues around sex. There are tons of reasons you might not score on the first or second date no matter how smooth you are. In fact, if a girl is willing to give it up that quick, she is either using you as a sex toy, or she has very low self esteem and is doing it against her will in an attempt to keep you from losing interest. Now, im not saying this is true for all women. Sex becomes less of a big deal for older women as well. This doesn't really apply if you are going out trying to get one night stands and just looking for something casual. But, if you are interested in getting a girlfriend this applies to you.

So the point I'm making is to stop getting carried away with sleeping with women as fast as you can. Slow down and enjoy the anticipation and challenge. The harder anything is to get, the more rewarding it is in the long run so stop trying so hard. The more you chase something, the more it runs away. Slow down, connect with her, and show her that you are a man and you don't need sex to validate yourself. You want her, she turns you on and you admit that to her, but you don't need her.

"Buy me a drink."

2008-03-09T14:11:00.000-07:00

QUESTION:
So last night I got shit tested left and right. I have
to admit that I love getting shit tested. It was fun.
I am grateful for being in the place of getting shit
tested pretty consistently now. I am no longer just
the guy that struggles to open or to carry on
conversations. Now I am the guy that women seriously
consider to the point that they have to test me. Good.

Where I failed was over the shit test "Are you going
to buy me a drink?" I wasn't ready for a shit test. I
didn't know what to say.

I did a little research and got a ton of great ways of
handling the question now but last night I made the
sin of trying to argue it logically. That doesn't
work. I was blown out big time. It in fact would have
been better if I just bought the damn drink rather
than argue it logically.

ANSWER:
My favorite response is: "Your moms a drink!" Laugh and then cut thread. When a girl asks you to buy her a drink, all it is a shit-test. To pass any shit test you must react from your masculine core. If you honestly would like to buy this girl a drink because you want to give her a gift (not to buy her attention) then you should buy it. In fact, if she can tell you want to buy her one and you don't, she will sense the insecurity in your bodylanguage, tonality and subtle cues and you will fail the test. On the flip side, if you don't want to buy her one, and you do, you fail. The key is trust your gut instinct, make a decision and DO NOT apologize for it or explain yourself. The worst thing you can do is say Yes/No and follow it up with a detailed explanation like, "I usually don't buy girls drinks but you are special, or "so tell me, who started this whole movement of men having to buy women drinks for their attention?" or "what makes you think you're so special that you should deserve to be bought a drink from ME?" If you don't want to buy her a drink, just SAY NO, and DONT explain yourself. Just keep the conversation going. If you want to buy her one, then do it, it doesn't make you a AFC. I just recorded a podcast with my girlfriend about feminine testing aka Shit Tests and how to pass them. Its also about how to pass the most dreaded shit test of all, "Lets just be friends." I also just started a free forum where I will be answering questions regularly. You can join at www.websitetoolbox.com/mb/robertmkramer.

What do you do when she is pissed at you?

2008-03-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

My girlfriend wrote a really good response to this question above, check it out below:

I wanted to touch on this after reading what you wrote... it's been on my mind since the masculine energy/connecting workshop we did.

Robbie did an impressively thorough job answering your questions, he wrote a lot of things I would have said. One more reason why I'm in love with this guy. :-) Anyway, one thing that every man should know is that when you fight back when a girl/your girl is starting a fight you are not being a man. Female arguing is caddy and unnecessary. We do it because we can get away with it with you. One of the biggest mistakes I see guys make is they buy into it and get defensive. We can't do a whole lot when you listen to what we are trying so ineffectively to get across to you. It turns more and more into nagging and bitching when we don't feel heard/listened to/understood by you. You are not letting us win by listening, you are being a man. When we have all our bitching and moaning out, something like "I can see how you would see it that way/feel that way." or even the showstoppin' "I take responsibility for that." is a great pattern interrupt (meaning we don't expect that from you, which causes us to check out of our wild fit of emotion). Only when you are certain that we know you can appreciate our point of view as valid do you move on. Give some kind of authentic/playful compliment if you can muster it, or disarming yet stong statement about what you want. This will move the conversation right along because YOU ARE LEADING HER LIKE A MAN RATHER THEN REACTING TO HER LIKE A PUSSY.

Word of caution:
Don't flip out if she starts arguing again. This is "repeat as necessary" like it says on your shampoo bottle. In words you know it's like gambling, just cause you lose one hand it doesn't mean you fold out completely and quit playing. You win when you calm her down by being ok with her emotional side, while not getting caught up in it. What do you win? Her respect. Her attraction. Her admiration. Her attention. Be aware if she is used to controlling you with her anger/bitching/etc. there is a pattern to break. This can take time. You can do this by being a man, and saying what you want without reacting emotionally. This is not a formula to get a result, it is a way for you to handle and understand her. Of course this is not the be all, end all. Every girl is different. You must accept her for the feminine, crazy, emotional creature that she is. The bottom line is in this world of pushovers and pussies when you are the man, she will feel lucky to be with you.

For more of my fabulous random writings go to my blog... (for real men) hehe

www.coachjamie.blogspot.com

Nagging & Argueing w/ Women

2008-03-06T11:07:00.000-08:00

QUESTION

I've realized that i suck, utterly suck at dealing with women on the day-to-day (maybe not that much but that's how i feel about it). From my mom to friends i really dunno how to deal with their stuff. Just because of a couple of little points: nagging and flaking. I don't think i'm still somebody who'll jump through hoops just to satisfy female whims, and i no longer put them in pedestals. But on the daily interactions, those two topics are of the very few that still make me lose my cool and get angry (even if at the moment i don't show it). I guess that my mom will nag me for the rest of my life, specially since i won't become the kind of man she'd want me to (instead i'll just keep being me, only the improved version ), but i'm afraid of getting a girlfriend/wife/mate/whatever and find out that she has nagging as a sport after i've already fallen for her. And flaking? hate that, many many females still do that to me. And i feel it's a high disrespect, like "your time's not worth any consideration, and by extension you aren't either, who cares anyway?" The worst is when it's an obvious BS excuse. Any comments on this?

I've also heard that it's useless to argue with women. My experience verifies that, and also adds that women are always right as far as they're concerned. So, what do you do instead? According to David Deida and Hristiyan, praise her. But i dunno how that can be done when you're so angry and/or frustrated you just wanna scream. Shall i pass this one to it's own thread and get Hristiyan on it? or do you guys have some comments?

And at last, how do you tell when it's a shit test and not just she wanting reassurance and the like?

ANSWER

Tough love coming!!! So you don't like nagging women and flakes? Join the club. Before you go any further, stop and ponder your own life. Do you flake on people? Really answer that question for yourself, are you a man of your word? Or are you a man of your word when it is convenient? If you are getting lots of flakes and nagging women then you are allowing this sort of behavior to happen. You can sit back and whine about it or you can put an end to it right now. This is what I would suggest:

1. If you are flaking on people (not just women, anyone) change your behavior, this worked for me.
2. If you are being nagged, then look at why you are being nagged? You must be doing something that upsets women, including your mom. Most men get nagged when they don't do something they say they are going to do. If the nagging is completely uncalled for, have a conversation with the nagger. Speak from your masculine core and explain to her that you she is someone you deeply care about and honor but you will not put up with her demeaning and disrespectful attitude. But I still think you should stick with my original suggestion, if you have integrity, you won't get nagged, period.

There are two ways to argue with women, and neither way works. haha

When you argue with a woman, you are challenging her masculine side. To end the argument, listen to what she is saying and really get it and make sure she knows that you get it. Then tell her that she makes you hard when she is mad. HAHA, or something on those lines. This is a complicated answer, but in short, you have to come from your masculine core.

How to tell if its a shit-test:
You will get good at spotting shit-tests the more you become aware of what they are. You are already very good at spotting them. If she asks you a question out of left field or makes a sudden demand or jab, it is often a shit-test. If she asks you to do something that is not in line with your purpose, it is also ussually a shit-test. Great questions, I hope I provided you some value with my answers.

Bitchy Girls

2008-03-05T16:16:00.000-08:00

QUESTION

Robbie,

This may pertain more to you since you've probably had the experience, but I'd love to hear Jammie's and anyone else's perspective. What's your take when you approach a girl and she's not only 'not interested', but 'quite rude' about it. As when she goes back to talking on her phone, ignores you completely, or just says, "Thanks but I have to get going..." before you even have a chance to give her a compliment?

I've had situations where the girl acted like a complete bitch BEFORE I even had a chance to say what I came to say. And I've made a stand before and not tolerated that behavior from her, but honestly, after she behaves that way...I just don't think she's that cute anymore.

But I also don't want to let her go with me feeling like crap that she was able to walk over me like that.

ANSWER

Matt: When a girl is not interested and rude about it before you even say a word to her, it means that you have given off the initial vibe that you are someone she does not want to interact with. Maybe it is the way you approached her, or your body language or how you are dressed. Maybe she thinks you are trying to sell her a new cell phone plan... there are lots of different reasons. If you are approaching girls when they are talking on their cell phones then this will happen more often. I know that I don't like to be interrupted by a stranger when I'm talking on my cell phone. If you are gonna interrupt her, you need to be very strong about it, the meek excuse me BS isn't gonna fly, you have to interrupt her like your house is on fire and then give her the compliment like nothing is wrong.

You: !!! OH my god, I need your help, right now!!!!
Her: What? What?
You: I just HAD to tell you that you are incredibly cute, it was a major emergency.

Podcast Q&A

2008-03-04T23:43:00.000-08:00

Hey Robbo,

When you and Jamie first started dating, how often did you see each other? What did you do to keep the flirting alive in between dates? And when you got to the point when you both realized that you wanted each other, how did you continue being somewhat of a challenge to her?

Right now, I've been dating this girl for about a month. I like her a hell of a lot. We see each other about once or twice a week, and text/chat when we're not together. When we do spend time together, we can't keep our hands off each other. But I'm just wondering if I should see her less frequently and/or play a little harder to get (and how?). I feel like if I see her too often or if she knows I want her (which she does, I'm sure), she won't miss me as much as before and there isn't as much excitement/anticipation before our dates. So what I would like to know is basically this: how did you keep the fire burning and eventually turn it into a relationship?

Thanks Robbo!

RD

ANSWER
Rich D: When Jamie and I first started dating we saw each other about once a week and to keep the attraction going we flirted a lot over text messages and talked on the phone occasionally. When we both realized that we wanted each other we were able to keep the attraction alive and growing more and more everyday. To do this, I flirt and tease her all the time and I am also very authentic and vulnerable around her. I also praise her feminine characteristics a lot and tell her how horny she makes me all the time. The hornier I get, the hornier she gets if I admit to it. The worst thing you can do is pretend that your girl doesn't turn you on, and a lot of guys do this. Don't be one of those guys. In response to your question, don't play silly games with this girl you are dating, she isn't stupid and she will see right through them. If you want to turn it into a relationship, you need to be the man and lead her to that stage. The easiest way to do this is with your actions, not your words. Start seeing her more often and on the weekends. To keep the fire burning, keep flirting, tell the truth, and praise her feminine, she will not be able to resist you.

Myth Busters

2008-02-28T13:53:00.000-08:00

My girlfriend wrote an awesome post on her blog about myths revolving around the dating and pickup community. You are probably making these mistakes so check it out at www.coachjamie.blogspot.com.

Review of my podclass: "Pass Her Shit Tests"

2008-02-28T12:21:00.000-08:00

Hey guys,

I really enjoyed and got a lot out of Robbie and Jamies podcast "Pass Her Shit Tests" and I wanted to share that with you. You might think from the name of the podcast that it is about playing "the game" so that you can nail easy bar girls, that is totally incorrect. The podcast is about staying true to yourself, being honest and how to maintain a great relationship, I would recommend it much more so to guys who have girlfriends or who want girlfriends then to guys wanting casual sex.

One thing that is great about the podclass is that Jamie (Robbie's girlfriend) is on the call as well so you get to hear the story from a hot woman's perspective, how this made her feel etc (she calls him out on his bullshit once or twice as well ;-).

You can tell from the call they have a really great relationship and it was very enlightening being able to hear how it is maintained. One thing in particluar about the call I found interesting is how to answer the "lets just be friends" speech from a girl who you really like.

So in summary, if you want to improve your relationships with others and fall in love with a great women, I would recommend this podclass.

all the best,

Cameron

If you guys are interested in the podclass email me at robbieandjamie@gmail.com

"Let's just be friends!"

2008-02-26T10:54:00.001-08:00

"Let's just be friends!"

"Are you a player?"

"Where did you learn that line?"
You've heard them. Or you've had nightmares about hearing them. The dreaded tests. You like her, and you think she likes you, but she keeps throwing up these challenges, like giant hurdles on a steeplechase.

And as hard as you try, you keep hitting them full speed and falling on your face.

What if a smart, sexy, confident woman finally came clean about her tests, and told you exactly how to pass these dreaded tests?

What if you got the playbook directly from women? This is like going into a football game with the other team's playbook!

I've got an insanely-good new podclass this week, and because you put in the time and effort to invest in yourself to get good with women, you might as well get GREAT.

Let me tell you the story of a man who became great.

Robbie Kramer was a student of mine. He was charming and funny and successful and smart. He was cute. Girls liked him. So naturally he became a pickup artist. And then he got so good at it, he became a pickup instructor.

But he didn't become any different. He stayed the same.

All that time, all that money, all the expertise gained in learning about women only to find himself exactly where he started. It was like spending thousands on a journey around the world only to arrive back home with no memory of the trip.

That is, until he learned how to really go for what he wanted. He got the girl he thought he could never get. And this week, he's going to tell you EXACTLY how he did it.

See, when you challenge yourself to do something you've never done before, you will find all sorts of obstacles, roadblocks, and tests along the way. And when you are dealing with smart, beautiful, confident women, we in the love-makin' biz call those things by a very special name.

ShitTests.

That's right. You say you want it to be easy, but it never is. She's not here to make it easy for you. You want her? You want all the sexy that comes along with an amazing woman? Then you'd better be ready to handle it. Just like a Ferrarri Testarossa isn't made for just any dumb kid to drive, the best women aren't made for any dumb guy.

If you don't know what you are doing with beautiful women, they will rip you to shreds. But if you do know, well, there's a world of pleasure and joy and pure satisfaction that most men can only dream of.

You have to see the tests for what they are, and know that what she is doing is not trying to make your life hard, but just making sure that you know what you are doing.

See, sex is RISKY for women. Way riskier for men. No matter how casual we think it is, for her it always represents very real physical and emotional consequences. And the more you understand what she needs in order to let herself go and be fully sexual and passionate with you, the easier those tests get.

This is what you'll get in this groundbreaking one-hour with Robbie and Jamie:

The real reason she will test you and never ever stop
A simple tweak that makes you BULLETPROOF to her tests!
A smart, sexy, confident woman finally comes clean about her tests, and tells you exactly how to pass dreaded tests like...
Get her even if she KNOWS you study pickup (the dreaded PUA trap)
You get the playbook directly from women. This is like going into a football game with the other team's playbook!
How to get her EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT HER TYPE.

Now it is going to become your reality. Sign up for "Pass Her Sh**Tests" with Robbie Kramer and Coach Jamie by siging up before tomorrow at 8 PM, and I'll give you 51% off, because this class is too important to miss.
http://passhertests-lvo3.eventbrite.com/?discount=VIP

Peace,

Sean

High Octane Flirting

2008-02-23T23:15:00.000-08:00

So you think you can flirt? What if I told you that I could flirt with a girl for 5 minutes plus without her even saying a single word? You would probably think that I'm full of doggie poo-poo but I can and I'm gonna show you how. First off, there is no reason why you would ever need to flirt for 5 minutes or even 2 minutes for that matter if a girl is saying nothing back. If she isn't saying anything back, she is either completely not interested, or she is laughing to hard to speak. My girlfriend loves when I do this to her. Its really funny, she tells me to pretend like I don't know her, walk into the room and flirt with her. The great part is that she always gets really horny after. High five for sex!

OK, so Coach Robbo what is this amazing life altering transformational technique?!?!

Its a combination of something I read on the internet somewhere a while back with my own goofy and playful direct style built in. The best part of it is that the entire time you are praising her feminine side. When you challenge a woman, you are engaging her masculine side and even though it often times leads to a favorable outcome for the guy i.e. sex, a date, a phone number it is much harder in my opinion and not really my bag. What I do, is immediately reprimand her for looking too fucking cute and she is ruining my day. For example girl walking down the street:

Me: You know I really don't appreciate what is going on over here.
Her: ??? Huh, what do you mean?
Me: I'm just a nice guy trying to enjoy my day and mind my own business but you had to come over here looking all fucking cute and ruin everything for me. I mean seriously, how am I supposed to concentrate with these sorts of distractions! :)))))))
(The key here is to over exaggerate A LOT! If you don't, you will look really weird.)
Her: HAHAHAHA I'm sorry
Me: Yeah you better be! I wasn't prepared for this at all. My dog ate my guide to flirting book and I have nothing. I have absolutely no game at all, and I can't even get it up!
Her: HAHAHAHAHA
Me: But, I do like romance novels, long walks on the beach, ponies, unicorns and rainbows.
Her: HAHAHA
Me: So you are just gonna sit there and laugh, you are very evil, if you weren't so hot I would make a citizens arrest on you.

I good literally go on all day. Its a simple formula, call out the elephant in the room which creates humor. Exaggerate and lie about everything and let her catch you in the lies. In the example I gave above, she really doesn't have to say anything and I can just go on all day, but that would never be necessary. I challenge your masculine sides to send me a scenario that would not work using this model. And if I can't, I'll send you my new podcast for free. But if you're really sweet, I'll probably send it to you for free anyway because I'm a sucker.

ShadowPUA Strikes Again

2008-02-21T12:48:00.001-08:00

My good friend ShadowPUA has made another guest appearence with some fabulous realizations from his life of pimpery. He was so kind and generous to leave you and I with these insightful words of wisdom:

How to identify bar sluts. Uhhh ne na ne naaaah

I remember when I was a kid my father sat me down on his knee and said, “ShadowPua, one of the most important things you’re going to have to learn in life is identifying sluts at the bar.” My first reaction was to laugh at him. You see, as a nine year old I already held a master’s degree in Kino and was a third degree black belt in the art of rapport. Why on earth would I need to identify a slut at a bar?

Well call it a case of hubris or arrogance, but these words came back to haunt me. By this time I was 13 and my “game” was top tier. I was ranked 3rd in the world behind Germany’s Franz Fluggenberger and Italy’s Michaelo Lucenso, but I had one weakness; I simply had never developed a drunk slut radar. Franz and Michaelo were able to hone in on drunk bitches but I simply could not.

More problems arose when the analysts had predicted me the clear favorite to win the PUA polls in November with an all around gaming ability of 96 points. They must have somehow missed my bar slutting skills and this would prove to be a huge embarrassment if I could not get it together.

Well needless to say I did end up developing a method that could be considered a landmark in PUA research. After almost 3 hours at the bar and countless Vodka Cranberries (the alpha cocktail as I call it) I found many similarities and mannerisms between these “bar sluts”. I call it the Shadow Triad.

1. Look at their eyes- I’ve noticed drunk sluts tend to almost look cross-eyed. I’m not sure what causes this to happen but it may be gene related. A nice way to tell if their eyes are crossed is by taking a picture. A picture allows the PUA a snapshot into the possible “bar sluts” eyes. If the eyes are crossed you may have yourself a genuine bar slut.

2. Stain on their clothing- It could be a tribal ritual or it could just mean that they’re clumsy. Either way this is a key point in identifying a true “bar slut”.

3. Unable to walk but capable of dancing- Possibly the most crucial aspect in identifying a true “bar slut”. This is a strange phenomenon that no one may ever be able to explain. If a girl can dance all night but can barely walk a straight line, you most definitely have spotted a “bar slut”.

Use this method for I have proven it in the field countless times. Not only can it identify true bar sluts, it can also improve your refraction period two-fold. And in case you’re wondering I did pull the top seed in that year’s PUA polls.

ShadowPua

What Color are you?

2008-02-18T21:59:00.000-08:00

My girlfriend just created a blog and wrote an incredible post. The topic is all about how to attract and connect with a woman (or man) very effectively and authentically. It is truly brilliant so read it: www.coachjamie.blogspot.com. If you don't read it, I will find you and give you bear hugs and blow you kisses!

Looking Good

2008-02-08T16:27:00.000-08:00

When I was on the cruise with my girlfriend last week we spent a lot of time in the karoake bar. I am quite possibly the worst singer in the world, I have absolutely no range, and when I sing it sounds like I am talking. My girlfriend is also quite bad but better then me, and shes hot which provides that entertainment value. Regardless, we decided to get up on stage and have fun. It was awesome and everyone loved us. Not because we were good, but because we were really fun and entertaining and didn't care how we looked. If you are willing to just be yourself and forget about looking good, you will come across as much more authentic in your life and people will be drawn to your magnetic personality. Karoake is great because it allows you to push your comfort zone and it doesn't matter if you suck, as long as you have fun. No one really cares how good of a singer you are, but if you get up there like a dull bump on a log people will hate you, even if you have an awesome voice. No one is looking for the next American Idol at a karoake bar so the shittier you are, the better! My girlfriend doesn't give a shit what people think of her and it is awesome. Most girls are much more worried about image then guys and they should be, because they are judged much more on image then men are. Its great because I don't really care either and we have a ton of fun being goofy together. If you are in a relationship or even if you are on a first date, if you can just drop looking good and be yourself, both of you will have a great time. If you spend the whole date trying to look good, you're probably gonna look pretty bad.

Getting Jealous

2008-02-07T10:37:00.000-08:00

Last week I went on a 5 day cruise with my girlfriend to the Carribean. After, we spend two and half days in Miami's South Beach. I was a little worried before the cruise that by the end of the trip, me and my girlfriend would be tearing out each others hair because we had never spent so much time together. But, we had an awesome time and barely fought at all. One thing I've learned from my girlfriend that communication is by far the most important thing in any relationship. Another thing is that girls are most attracted to you when you are being flirty and authentic. I don't ussually have any trouble being fun and flirty but I have a tough time being authentic when something is bugging me. Let me give you an example:

The Jealous Boyfriend! Would you date a girl who is good friend with her ex? HAHA just kidding, im not that much a douche! Ok so here's what happened.

I'm at dinner with my girl and the gooodlooking waiter comes over and asks for our drink order. My girlfriend starts flirting with him and I can tell she is attracted. All of these thoughts start flashing through my mind:

If she is flirting with him, does that mean that she doesn't like me anymore? Does she think he is hotter and more sexy then me? Does she wanna fuck him? Is she bored with me? Does she wish she wasn't in a relationship so she could fuck him? Is she gonna cheat on me with a guy like this? FUCK!!!!!!! Why am I getting so jealous? Am I that big of a loser to get jealous over this guy? I better pretend to not be jealous because if she thinks I'm jealous she's gonna think I'm insecure and lose attraction for me and leave. Ok, so just play it cool and pretend to not be jealous. Just smile and nod like the pussy you are and try to forget about it. Shit, now I can't forget about it, this is bullshit, why the fuck did she flirt with him? She's a bitch, I'm gonna be a dick to her and flirt with a bunch of other girls in her face to show her how it feels. That's it, fuck her!

Ok, so that is what was happening. She could tell that something was obviously bothering me and she asked me what was wrong. I said, "nothing babe" and continued being depressed. She then asked me, "are you jealous of that guy," to which I replied, "him, no way." Then she could tell I was bullshitting her. Girls are very good at bullshit detection especially when they know you very well. I realized that I was being very inauthentic. So I stopped and said, yeah actually I am jealous right now and what you did really bothered me because and now I feel insecure. Its funny, because by telling her this and being vulnerable, she got totally turned on and we talked about what happened and I didn't feel hurt anymore. It takes a pretty secure guy to admit that he is insecure and that is attractive to women. So instead of letting little things bug you, be open, honest and vulnerable by communicating the problem and you will be much more succesful in working it out, even if you think it will make you look back. In the end, you will look worse by not being honest from the get go.

Bragging Time

2008-02-07T10:31:00.000-08:00

How has the bragging been going? I want to see if any of you guys have some good stories for me. I want to extend the opportunity to my readers to send me their best story about anything relationship oriented. It could be about how you got rejected in 7th grade or how you scooped a stripper off the stage and took her back to your hotel room. Also, if you have a girlfriend, tell me the story of how you two met. Its a way to brag and get better at story telling which will help you get what you want. Also, feel free to send a question, if you guys have questions on anything dating related, send me a question and I'll send you an answer, I promise! So don't be shy, brag and ask questions!

Wanna get better with women? Start bragging!

2008-01-27T14:15:00.000-08:00

Does it ever seem like once you learn something new, it starts popping up all around you? Its like when you buy a new car, suddenly you see your same car everywhere. Something that has been popping up for me recently is the idea that success is much easier when you share your plan with others. For example, say you want to get better with women. You have a lot of different options. One of those options is reading this blog right now, and I'de like to think that it is a really good option because I created it. But in all honesty, reading this blog is not nearly as useful as what I'm about to tell you. You are probably already very aware of this but you fail to take your own advice. If you want to improve at anything in your life, the best way to do it is to tell people close to you what you are setting out to accomplish, and then tell them that you are gonna succeed no matter what. By doing this, it forces you to change your behavior because if you don't, you will look like a fool and a failure. We are really good at lying to ourselves to don't fall into the trap of just telling yourself you are gonna do it on your own. If you tell your friends that you learned this really cool shit on this super cool guys blog named Robbie, and that you are now a total ladies man, they are gonna make you put your money where your mouth is. This is gonna force you to take physical steps towards improving. If you are reading this, you have already taken the mental steps. So get out there and start bragging, and just wait to see how quickly you improve. I also have some free copies of my podcast left, if you want it, just email me at robertmkramer@gmail.com, and its yours for free.

Be Strong, Not Needy Podclass

2008-01-25T00:25:00.000-08:00

Hey Ballers,

If you are interested in my one hour long podclass with Brian Begin then I have an offer for you. We spent a lot of time putting the material together and recording it, so as much as I would love giving it away for free, I would be failing my religion as a cheap Jew to do so. If you want a copy, send me an email at robertmkramer@gmail.com and I will send you a copy for $20 bucks and I"ll even throw in our original notes. To learn more about it, look at the previous "Be Strong, Not Needy" post to see the review and outline of it. If you've ever wondered what to do when women test you, why logic kills attraction and how to stop falling into the friends zone, this podclass will answer your questions. Also, if you would me to do a podclass on a different subject, let me know and I'll do it. Just because I'm a sucker, the first 10 people to email me get it for free, and the next 10 get it for half off, just $10 bucks. Thats less then the cost of buying a girl a drink in Vegas!

You're Really Scary

2008-01-24T15:29:00.000-08:00

Are you afraid of approaching women? I am. Are you afraid of starting a conversation with another dude? I am. Does it make you nervous to talk to a 5 year old? It would make me nervous. What about a dog, would you be nervous to ask a dog how his day is going? Definitely not!

Why am I asking all these stupid questions and then answering myself? I am trying to prove a point here, in case you weren't sure. Humans are wired to fear other humans. Why? Well, it has something to do with how we look. We are all way more critical, self conscience, and judgemental of ourselves then we think. In fact, I would go as far to say that in everything that we do, we are ultimately worried about how we are viewed and judged by others. The reason why you are actually kinda scared to talk to a 5 year old is that 5 year old could actually make you look bad. What if you walked up to a 5 year old and tried to be nice be offering the child a balloon and the kid spit on your shoe and said "don't talk to me!" You would feel pretty bad and stupid right? Now imagine that you start up a conversation with a dude on the street by asking him directions and he responds with "Piss off, I don't fucking know, buy a map retard!" How angry and upset would you feel about that? Now imagine that you walk up to a hottie in a bar and say, "How is that drink treating you?" and she responds be throwing it in your face and saying "Its empty now, Loser!" That would probably ruin your night I;m guessing. Now imagine that you see a cute puppy dog waiting for its owner outside of a store tied to a tree and you walked up to a safe distance and said, "Good morning fido, that is a lovely fur coat you are wearing." Is there anything the dog could do to make you feel stupid? I didn't think so.

The reason for this is that dogs can't speak our language, they can't insult us and most importantly, they can't intentionally make us look bad. So the reason why we fear meeting new people and starting conversations is to protect us from looking bad. So what is so important about looking good? If you look at the people in this world that really made a difference, you will notice that its the people that stood up for what they believed in and stopped caring about looking good. Listen, its not just me that fears these things, its you too, and your mom, and your dad, and your mailman, and your gimp that you keep locked in your closet, its everyone! So if everyone is just as scared as you, then what is there to be scared for? Instead of trying to look good all the time, why don;t you go out, stand up for what you want and give yourself the gift of looking bad, you will have a lot more fun, I can guarantee you that.

Review: The Landmark Forum

2008-01-22T15:49:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I attended the Landmark Forum, the flagship seminar offered from Landmark Education. If you ask someone what they think of this program they answer in one of 3 ways:

1. Its a cult
2. Its amazing
3. Its the worst thing ever

I was very skeptical going into it because I really had no idea what it was all about. My girlfriend is in the introduction leaders program and has taken almost all of the curriculum but refused to tell me exactly what I was getting myself into. I decided to have an open mind about it and leave all my concerns at the door. To make a long story short, this is what happened:

Friday: I learned that most of the problems in my life were there because I chose them to be there. I was able to have a very honest and authentic conversation with my parents and it really improved our relationship.
Saturday: I learned that I had been living life based on a few key events from my childhood.
Sunday; I was able to put my past in my past and complete it, meaning, whatever happened to me, postive or negative, does not hinder my growth and ability to create new posibilities.

So overall, I highly reccomend it, especially if you are looking to improve your relationships with women and in life in general.

Turn Her On You Man-Tiger!

2008-01-19T00:25:00.000-08:00

You may be a little confused by the title of this post so let me explain. Last weekend I was up in San Francisco working with world renowned Smooth Operator, Hristiyan aka Capn Jack and Brian Begin from LVO3. They invited me as a guest to their new workshop that dealt with sexuality, owning your core, connecting and meeting women.

The weekend kicked ass and I learned a lot from the Albanian Rico Suave and Mr. Clean and I want to share with you guys some highlights and key points. Most importantly, I want to talk about how to turn a woman on. Most guys think its really difficult to turn a woman on or they have all these misconceptions on what sort of tricks and tactics to use. I also once fell into this category and I can't be too hard on myself considering that many of the worlds most famous pickup gurus teach that the best way to turn a woman on is to get out of bed and check your email. HAHAHAHA you gotta be freiken kidding me!!!!! In case you are wondering, it doesn't really work and if you don't believe me I encourage you to try it, but don't say I didn't warn you when she tells you that she's not in the mood.

Ok, so what the hell am I supposed to do then Robbie? Should I get really good at dirty talk? Should I buy a man-thong or banana hammock and show off my johnson? Should I fill my room with candles? Should I have a Booty Mix playing on repeat on my stereo. Should I buy a 60inch flat screen and play porn on it for her viewing pleasure? Should I give her a sensual massage? Should I pretend that I'm not even interested in her? Should I tell her that her skirt would look better on my bedroom floor? Or should I do what the 40 year old virgin did and stop puttin the pussy on a pedestal and bag some drunk bitches? Should I tell her that I have a massive cock? Should I tell her that I am the best guy in the world in bed?

NO! Don't do any of those things, and I hope you realized that most of them are ridiculous and a big joke. There may be a time and place for some of that shit but it isn't even a fraction as important as this simple yet unbelievably powerful tool every guy already has. If you are a dude then you can pull this off, no matter how much experience you have with women. The answer is to turn her on by allowing yourself to be turned on without hiding it. Women are dying for you to stop playing boyish games with them. They want a man who is isn't afraid to hide the fact that she drives him wild and he wants to rip her clothes off. You see, women want and crave for a man who celebrates their feminine essence and makes them feel sexy. If you show her how turned on you are by her, she will get so turned on that you won't know what to do with her. Ask any woman, they will tell you. But if you try and use gimmicks to make them hot for you, they will see right through your bullshit. She might sleep with you anyway just because your cute and she likes you, but you'll have no idea on what your missing out on.

And just to clarify, one of the women coaching at Hristiyan's workshop has a fantasy where she wants to be sexually ravished by a half man, half tiger and licked all over by this furry beast. So if you thought you were kinky, think again champ, women are way dirtier then you can ever imagine. If you make them feel feminine and sexy, you might get to see that side of her.

Be Strong, Not Needy

2008-01-17T10:10:00.000-08:00

Brian Begin and I just debuted our new podclass about being a strong, not needy with Sean Messenger of LVO3. I plan to release in the next couple days and you will be able to access it from here on my blog. Most of what we talk about it is probably things that most guys haven't even considered in their relationships with women but without this knowledge, you could be entering a world of pain, SON! Check out the info below from Sean: http://seanmessenger.com/

Have you ever wished you didn't really NEED women?

What if instead of wasting time dreaming about the one that got away, or the one that you're losing now, or worst of all, the one that never was, you could live a completely happy life, and feel what it's like to be truly strong, confident, and secure, and have women absolutely LOVE you for it?

What if you could connect with women so that hot sex wasn't just an option, but a guarantee?

What if you had a magic tool, a virtual Swiss Army Knife, to get you any girl you want, no matter what her relationship situation, and get you out of any trouble, no matter how deep?

This is real power, son. And with real power comes real responsibility. So if you want any of this, remember, this knowledge will give you the ability to create any kind of world you want for you and women.

Make it a good one.

It all happens when you start being Strong, Not Needy.

I'll tell you a secret. You're a smart guy. You know that women aren't attracted to needy men. But you probably didn't know that women actually DESPISE needy men. They hate them like a cat hates water. It makes them crazy. It makes them miserable. Hell, I even know some cases where needy-ass whiny weak men make women just give up and turn lesbian.

And not the hot lipstick kind of lesbian, either.

But there is hope. You are NOT a needy man. You were never meant to be one. You learned to lean into women and depend on them for your sense of self because someone very well-meaning and loving (like Mom, perhaps), taught you to feel this way. And Mom loves you very much. But Mom can't teach you jack-shit about being a man.

Robbie Kramer and Brian Begin, world-renowned ladies' men and trained Inner Game professionals, will show you exactly what to do to Be Strong Not Needy.

Here are some of the amazing insights you will get:

What is needy, and why what others have taught you is NOT the real problem

Why you look for validation from women and how to stop it immediately and forever

Specific things you are doing RIGHT NOW that telegraph your neediness to a woman (the scary thing is, they are things we've all done that you may never ever see)

Why "logic-ing" a woman kills attraction dead like roaches, and a simple change that will keep all your conversations flirty without ever having to memorize a script.

Why you might have been needy in every relationship you've had.

How to lead, and how to be open without being weak

And maybe the most important thing... the thing that keeps even the most talented "pickup artists" from ever being happy...

How to lead without being an asshole.

Being a man isn't an easy job. It comes with responsibility. But it also offers the greatest rewards possible. If you have EVER wanted a real girlfriend for even the briefest of times, you need to be with us this Wednesday.

And if you like women even a little bit, and want them to be happy the same way you want your Mom, your sister, or your daughter to be happy, you need to join us on Wednesday.

Women of the world are sad, angry, and getting meaner and less sexy by the day. If you've ever caught yourself complaining that women are just all materialistic, or only date assholes, or wished they would just make sense and date a good guy like you, this is your chance to look hard in the mirror, see the strong man who is really there, and bring him to the women all around you every day.

Women are waiting to see your strength. They are dying, literally dying, for it. It's way past time to give it to them.

~Sean Messenger
http://seanmessenger.com
sean@horsemen-us.com