Brian and I just finished an exhausting but fun weekend at this years PUA Summit. The theme was transitioning to sex and we gave a 45 minute talk on the subject. The other speakers included David Wygant, Adam Lyons, Brad P, Johnny Wolf, Vince Kelvin, Daxx, Kosmo, Adonis, DJ Fuji, Speer, Daniel Rose, Mehow, Asain Playboy, and a couple others I’m probably forgetting.
In recap, the most commonly talked about concept was logistics. Logistics – meaning the type of logistical things you need to do to make a smooth transition from the bar stool back to the bedroom. Logistics are important but in my opinion, not what the students should have been focusing on. Lets face it, if you attending a PUA Summit, you’re probably not getting laid very often. My guess would be that no more then 25% of the audience was getting laid on a regular basis (1/month). And if you’re not getting laid, the problem is not logistics, the problem is attraction. I’m starting to see a trend in guys coming into the community. It happened to me, it happened to Brian, and it is probably happening to you. At first, you are enamored with the idea that you can actually learn to be attractive. Gurus offer there latest and greatest routines, techniques, fool proof methods, tactics and tricks that seem like the coolest thing you’ve ever heard of. You go out and try this stuff for a few weeks, have virtually no success but decide that your problem is that you didn’t do enough approaches. WRONG! Or maybe, you decide that you have too much approach anxiety and never even try out the methods, but you talk a lot about them and theorize on the local forums and discussion boards. Maybe you find some wingmen who stand around with and talk about game in the club. 90% of the guys that go down this road quit in less then 3 months. But why?…
Because you are getting suckered in by a bunch of GIMMICKS!!! There is no such thing as a fool proof attraction routine. Every woman is different. YOU CANT GET EVERY GIRL! Nor should you try to. If you really want to get good with the opposite sex, you’re gonna have to put in the effort. And you’re gonna need some guidance. The only surefire way of being successful in this endevour is to follow this formula.
Be Unstoppable & Get Support
Otherwise, you will fail. Simple as that. Stop looking for the easy way out and give yourself at least a year to improve. And as David Wygant said at the Summit, don’t be a PickUp Asshole (PUA).
Monday, September 28, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Don't Practice Pickup
Question:
Ever since my last session with Inner Confidence, I am having difficulty with practicing pickup. Usually I go out with the intent to try and pick up (I go out during the day and try to open 10 sets). This is because I don’t have 4-5 hours to waste at a bar.
The problem is, now I know that women can sense/feel ur insincerity, now I feel uncomfortable using a routine stack. And since I have doubt in the routine or banter lines, it is a bit discouraging even going out. Seems like all my cards are taken and I’m naked…and if I try to use the lines, she’ll realize how inauthentic I am. Am I paranoid? Are routines evil? Do they lack integrity? I’ve been called out twice for being a pickup artist…and many times I’m certain girls know they are trying to be “picked up”.
I used to use a direct day game model as a guideline for approaching (something to fall back on) — which wassn’t too “gamey”. But its so rare for me to get a number (”hit or miss” as i like to call it). It doesn’t even seem to make sense to me how inconsistent I am getting phone numbers when I go out. I can approach fearlessly direct now, but after that, i’m a bit confused.
How do I go out and “practice” becoming more attractive? Or do I just need to open more sets? How do you incorporate/practice banter lines or even a routine with IC’s paradigm?
Thanks in advance,
B
Answer:
The biggest thing that will hold you back from becoming good with women is trying to become a pickup artist and practicing pickup. I’m really glad you are feeling that insecurity and in-authenticity because that means you’re moving in the right direction. Guys who are naturally good with women don’t ever become good by practicing pickup. They become attractive men by bringing out their natural masculine qualities. These include, their level of groundedness, connecting with people and learning how to manage tension. Brian and I have noticed how much easier it is to coach guys who have never been exposed to the PU Community because their heads aren’t filled with crap. I’m not saying that everything in the community is crap, but most of it is taught by guys who aren’t even getting laid.
Pickup lines and routines are not bad or evil, in fact they can be extremely powerful if you are solid on the inside when you use them. But you should only use a routine if its fun for you, otherwise women will typically sense the agenda. So if you want to practice, start by practicing these things:
1. Do physical exercise that gets you into your body so you can feel your masculine power. Anything will work, just notice when you are in your head verses when you are flowing like an athlete.
2. Practice being social and making connections with strangers (not just women – everyone) If these means approaching them, that’s great, but rather then trying to game them, try to be genuinely interested in who they are.
3. Practice leaning into tension. Check out the many posts in the IC Intensive area, there are a ton of exercises in there or check out Cary’s blog, hes pretty much done them all. http://www.beuncomfortable.com
Do the exercises from the ebook, I know you’ve read it biatch!
I didn’t get a chance to do a session with you yet, but my guess is that your direct approaches aren’t working because women can sense the agenda and you are losing your groundedness and seeking validation during the interaction.
Great question and I’m glad your practicing. Keep it up!
-Robbie
Check out our Training Section on the IC Blog
Ever since my last session with Inner Confidence, I am having difficulty with practicing pickup. Usually I go out with the intent to try and pick up (I go out during the day and try to open 10 sets). This is because I don’t have 4-5 hours to waste at a bar.
The problem is, now I know that women can sense/feel ur insincerity, now I feel uncomfortable using a routine stack. And since I have doubt in the routine or banter lines, it is a bit discouraging even going out. Seems like all my cards are taken and I’m naked…and if I try to use the lines, she’ll realize how inauthentic I am. Am I paranoid? Are routines evil? Do they lack integrity? I’ve been called out twice for being a pickup artist…and many times I’m certain girls know they are trying to be “picked up”.
I used to use a direct day game model as a guideline for approaching (something to fall back on) — which wassn’t too “gamey”. But its so rare for me to get a number (”hit or miss” as i like to call it). It doesn’t even seem to make sense to me how inconsistent I am getting phone numbers when I go out. I can approach fearlessly direct now, but after that, i’m a bit confused.
How do I go out and “practice” becoming more attractive? Or do I just need to open more sets? How do you incorporate/practice banter lines or even a routine with IC’s paradigm?
Thanks in advance,
B
Answer:
The biggest thing that will hold you back from becoming good with women is trying to become a pickup artist and practicing pickup. I’m really glad you are feeling that insecurity and in-authenticity because that means you’re moving in the right direction. Guys who are naturally good with women don’t ever become good by practicing pickup. They become attractive men by bringing out their natural masculine qualities. These include, their level of groundedness, connecting with people and learning how to manage tension. Brian and I have noticed how much easier it is to coach guys who have never been exposed to the PU Community because their heads aren’t filled with crap. I’m not saying that everything in the community is crap, but most of it is taught by guys who aren’t even getting laid.
Pickup lines and routines are not bad or evil, in fact they can be extremely powerful if you are solid on the inside when you use them. But you should only use a routine if its fun for you, otherwise women will typically sense the agenda. So if you want to practice, start by practicing these things:
1. Do physical exercise that gets you into your body so you can feel your masculine power. Anything will work, just notice when you are in your head verses when you are flowing like an athlete.
2. Practice being social and making connections with strangers (not just women – everyone) If these means approaching them, that’s great, but rather then trying to game them, try to be genuinely interested in who they are.
3. Practice leaning into tension. Check out the many posts in the IC Intensive area, there are a ton of exercises in there or check out Cary’s blog, hes pretty much done them all. http://www.beuncomfortable.com
Do the exercises from the ebook, I know you’ve read it biatch!
I didn’t get a chance to do a session with you yet, but my guess is that your direct approaches aren’t working because women can sense the agenda and you are losing your groundedness and seeking validation during the interaction.
Great question and I’m glad your practicing. Keep it up!
-Robbie
Check out our Training Section on the IC Blog
Saturday, September 12, 2009
2009 PUA Summit
SUMMIT 09 IS GOING TO BE SOLD OUT!!!
It's a matter of days now, as maximum room capacity has been reached, before all Summit TX sales and links are shut down!!!!
LAST CALL FOR $299 TX FOR SUMMIT!!! Not only they are going up to $399 this next week, there's less then 10 spots left!!!
It's no surprise with a line up like this!!! There's even people flying from Europe and Asia to BE THERE!!!
And no, this is not a sales tactic, but simply the reality as it is! We have the biggest room the hotel can give us,
and we are already beyond maximum capacity...Even the speakers themselves may not be able to have seats!!!
Act now, or wait another 365 years before you radically revolutionize your love, sex, and entire life!!!!
This year's theme: TRANSITIONING TO SEX!
Time to go beyond "just approaching and getting numbers", take it all the way to the bedroom!
Sept. 26-27 Hollywood CA, USA...See, hear and meet...
Bad Boy - All the way from Eastern Europe!
The ORIGINAL Direct Tactic Guru!
Lance Mason - Founder of Pick Up 101!
Adam Lyons - America's new favorite rising star,
as seen on UK Reality TV "Rules of Seduction"!
Hypnotica - Hard core inner game guru, from Neil Strauss' "The Game" known
as Rasputin!
Mehow - The originator of in field videos, best selling author of "Get The Girl (TM)",
"Group Attraction (TM)", and "10 Second Sexual Attraction"!
Vince Kelvin - The original NLP for Pickup expert, over 19 years of service to community!
David Wygant - The Orignal "Hitch" - Will Smith's Character was based on
this Natural!
Speer - Lifestyle expert! One of the community's favorite new teachers, breaking it down
simple!
Daniel Rose - Author of The Sex God Method - The community's best expert on
giving female orgasms!
Asian Playboy - Revolutionized how Asian men go about dating - Voted best
Asian pickup artist!
Brad P. - The World's foremost authority on Opening!
Daxx - From Love Systems / Mystery Method Corp. One of Savoy's rising
stars!
Johnny Wolf - ABC's of Attraction Lead Instructor back from Retirement just
to help out for a limited time!
Brian Begin & Robbie Kramer of Inner Confidence - Skyrocket Your Inner Game With The Creators of Inner Confidence Re-Patterning (TM)!
Plus a "New Blood" Panel with...
- Marni from Wing Girls! Get a Female Perspective!
- Adonis! Same Night Lay Expert!
- Zar and Hydro! New Social Science!
- KINO 5000! Against the Ropes- Organic Identity Desire!
- Artisan! The Seduction Coaching Team!
- Simeon! Winner of VH1's "The Pickup Artist"!!!
- Sexual Chocolate! Direct Game!
- Erika Awakening! Female Dating Coach!
- DJ Fuji! Club Game!
- Black Caesar! Miami Natural Game!
If you want tickets, I can get them for 50% off at least. Email me at robbie@innerconfidence.com if your interested.
It's a matter of days now, as maximum room capacity has been reached, before all Summit TX sales and links are shut down!!!!
LAST CALL FOR $299 TX FOR SUMMIT!!! Not only they are going up to $399 this next week, there's less then 10 spots left!!!
It's no surprise with a line up like this!!! There's even people flying from Europe and Asia to BE THERE!!!
And no, this is not a sales tactic, but simply the reality as it is! We have the biggest room the hotel can give us,
and we are already beyond maximum capacity...Even the speakers themselves may not be able to have seats!!!
Act now, or wait another 365 years before you radically revolutionize your love, sex, and entire life!!!!
This year's theme: TRANSITIONING TO SEX!
Time to go beyond "just approaching and getting numbers", take it all the way to the bedroom!
Sept. 26-27 Hollywood CA, USA...See, hear and meet...
Bad Boy - All the way from Eastern Europe!
The ORIGINAL Direct Tactic Guru!
Lance Mason - Founder of Pick Up 101!
Adam Lyons - America's new favorite rising star,
as seen on UK Reality TV "Rules of Seduction"!
Hypnotica - Hard core inner game guru, from Neil Strauss' "The Game" known
as Rasputin!
Mehow - The originator of in field videos, best selling author of "Get The Girl (TM)",
"Group Attraction (TM)", and "10 Second Sexual Attraction"!
Vince Kelvin - The original NLP for Pickup expert, over 19 years of service to community!
David Wygant - The Orignal "Hitch" - Will Smith's Character was based on
this Natural!
Speer - Lifestyle expert! One of the community's favorite new teachers, breaking it down
simple!
Daniel Rose - Author of The Sex God Method - The community's best expert on
giving female orgasms!
Asian Playboy - Revolutionized how Asian men go about dating - Voted best
Asian pickup artist!
Brad P. - The World's foremost authority on Opening!
Daxx - From Love Systems / Mystery Method Corp. One of Savoy's rising
stars!
Johnny Wolf - ABC's of Attraction Lead Instructor back from Retirement just
to help out for a limited time!
Brian Begin & Robbie Kramer of Inner Confidence - Skyrocket Your Inner Game With The Creators of Inner Confidence Re-Patterning (TM)!
Plus a "New Blood" Panel with...
- Marni from Wing Girls! Get a Female Perspective!
- Adonis! Same Night Lay Expert!
- Zar and Hydro! New Social Science!
- KINO 5000! Against the Ropes- Organic Identity Desire!
- Artisan! The Seduction Coaching Team!
- Simeon! Winner of VH1's "The Pickup Artist"!!!
- Sexual Chocolate! Direct Game!
- Erika Awakening! Female Dating Coach!
- DJ Fuji! Club Game!
- Black Caesar! Miami Natural Game!
If you want tickets, I can get them for 50% off at least. Email me at robbie@innerconfidence.com if your interested.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Flirty/Direct Opener
This is a demo I did on my girlfriend. Watch her bodylanguage throughout the video, you will notice how subconsciously she opens up. I promise, I did not tell her to do this, it was just her natural reaction and you can see how to spike attraction by being fun, flirty and subcommunicating sexuality.
Friday, September 4, 2009
The Power of Being Direct
I’m writing this article in honor of a student of ours. His name is Cary and he has been improving at an insane rate since he started our 90 Day Training Program a few months back.
Cary decided to start using a very direct method of approaching women, it consists of saying:
Hi.
What are you doing later?
Wanna come back to my place?
Yeah, I know! Pretty ballsy! Here is a report from Cary from a couple nights back:
So it's almost 11 PM now and some decent looking chicks are starting to come in. Looks like it's not going to be that bad after all. There's this one particular blonde that was looking hot in her 80's outfit for a birthday. She had the curly/frizzy hair, black gloves, pink tank top, black skirt with black leggings, and black heels. Kinda punkish. She was definitely outgoing and social, greeting everyone. She was tall, pretty, and had social value. I don't know if this is going to work.
[She's walking towards the door where I was standing and I extend my hand out to stop her. She reaches for my hand like she's shaking it.]
Hey, how's it going?
Hi! [Smiles.]
What are you doing later?
Blah, blah.
Cool. Do you want to come back to my place?
[Her face is slightly jolted. She pauses and I can tell she's thinking about something.]...Where do you live?
[WTF?!?! That jolted me back.] Uhhh...West LA.
I don't have your number.
[I whip out my phone as this 5'10" 200 lbs. dude with a shaved head and wearing a solid white sweater walks near us. Yeah, he looked like a gangster.]
What's your area code?
[She turns her back towards the big dude and faces me with a cringed sorry look on her face.] I can't do that right now. My boyfriend is right here.
[I just realized she was talking about the big dude. He looked scary, so I played it off like I was just showing her my phone and not trying to get her number.]
Hey check out my new phone. It's awesome. [In hindsight, what I really should have done was have her introduce me to the boyfriend. That would amp up the tension and attraction some more. I could have also then told the bf that her gf was cool but I didn't.
I didn't even get your name.
It's.....uhh it doesn't matter. I'll catch up with you later.
I was frankly shocked by her response. She was an interested party girl. My plan was to find her alone again later and get the digits, but that didn't happen. She was quite social and rarely alone. On top of that, as time went on, the bf looked scarier and scarier and I gave it up. It hooked though! And hooked hard.
Now, why will this approach work for Cary but maybe not for you? Cary has gotten to the point where he is no longer seeking approval from women. He is unattached to the outcome and is non-reactive to her response. If you’re wondering how to improve this in yourself then watch the video on grounding in our Video & Trainings Section on the top bar on this blog. Cary also started his own blog on becoming a badass. Check it out here: Cary’s Blog
Cary decided to start using a very direct method of approaching women, it consists of saying:
Hi.
What are you doing later?
Wanna come back to my place?
Yeah, I know! Pretty ballsy! Here is a report from Cary from a couple nights back:
So it's almost 11 PM now and some decent looking chicks are starting to come in. Looks like it's not going to be that bad after all. There's this one particular blonde that was looking hot in her 80's outfit for a birthday. She had the curly/frizzy hair, black gloves, pink tank top, black skirt with black leggings, and black heels. Kinda punkish. She was definitely outgoing and social, greeting everyone. She was tall, pretty, and had social value. I don't know if this is going to work.
[She's walking towards the door where I was standing and I extend my hand out to stop her. She reaches for my hand like she's shaking it.]
Hey, how's it going?
Hi! [Smiles.]
What are you doing later?
Blah, blah.
Cool. Do you want to come back to my place?
[Her face is slightly jolted. She pauses and I can tell she's thinking about something.]...Where do you live?
[WTF?!?! That jolted me back.] Uhhh...West LA.
I don't have your number.
[I whip out my phone as this 5'10" 200 lbs. dude with a shaved head and wearing a solid white sweater walks near us. Yeah, he looked like a gangster.]
What's your area code?
[She turns her back towards the big dude and faces me with a cringed sorry look on her face.] I can't do that right now. My boyfriend is right here.
[I just realized she was talking about the big dude. He looked scary, so I played it off like I was just showing her my phone and not trying to get her number.]
Hey check out my new phone. It's awesome. [In hindsight, what I really should have done was have her introduce me to the boyfriend. That would amp up the tension and attraction some more. I could have also then told the bf that her gf was cool but I didn't.
I didn't even get your name.
It's.....uhh it doesn't matter. I'll catch up with you later.
I was frankly shocked by her response. She was an interested party girl. My plan was to find her alone again later and get the digits, but that didn't happen. She was quite social and rarely alone. On top of that, as time went on, the bf looked scarier and scarier and I gave it up. It hooked though! And hooked hard.
Now, why will this approach work for Cary but maybe not for you? Cary has gotten to the point where he is no longer seeking approval from women. He is unattached to the outcome and is non-reactive to her response. If you’re wondering how to improve this in yourself then watch the video on grounding in our Video & Trainings Section on the top bar on this blog. Cary also started his own blog on becoming a badass. Check it out here: Cary’s Blog
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